


Pokemon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella

by kongu2910



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Abridgement, Action/Adventure, Parody, There's a bit of violence in the first chapter, but I wouldn't call it 'graphic'
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 59,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24725101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kongu2910/pseuds/kongu2910
Summary: Join your old friends Ash, Dawn and Brock on their journey through the Sinnoh region, except with less filler, more competence, and somehow less sophisticated writing! Watch as I attempt to summarise the entirety of the Pokemon Diamond and Pearl series into a single fanfiction like a madman! Asked for by no-one, wanted by the same, this is a fic you simply can't not read!
Comments: 34
Kudos: 21





	1. Delayed Beginnings

It was not a particularly busy day at the Sandgem Town seaport. One may suspect this was because there wasn’t much to see in the seaside town, and indeed, there was not much to Sandgem’s name. If one wanted a nice beach, he would go to Sunnyshore City. If one wanted beautiful fields, he would travel to Floaroma Town. And if one wanted interesting and powerful Pokémon, he would go literally anywhere else. Truly, it was a place of interest only to beginning trainers who were lucky enough to receive a starter Pokémon from the local Pokémon scientist, and even then, one would have to be _incredibly_ lucky or _incredibly_ wealthy to get a reasonably rare Pokémon for free and no strings attached.

Regardless of all these factors that would say ‘go somewhere else’ to an intelligent man, it was this town that Ash Ketchum, an experienced Kantonese trainer of fifteen years, had decided would be the first step into the Sinnoh region. Damned be the ‘Most Interesting Places to Visit in Sinnoh’ brochure and its so-called ‘helpful advice’! He started his Kanto journey blind and ignorant, and he would be damned if he didn’t start all of his other journeys the same way!

The young lad was currently in front of a videophone, his hair as unkept as ever underneath the red cap, and his new jacket already scuffed and dirty, despite having not seen dry land in almost thirty days. Upon Ash’s shoulder were two Pokémon – a yellow mouse with a thunderbolt-shaped tail, and a purple monkey with a hand on the end of its tail.

The screen on the videophone lit up, displaying a picture of a middle-aged man with a swept-forward hairdo, a red shirt, and a white lab coat. The man smiled, and said in an aged voice, “Ah, if it isn’t my second-favourite travelling labrat! How are you, Ash?”

“Hey, Professor Oak.” Ash replied cheerfully. “I’m doing fine. I just arrived in the Sinnoh region, actually.”

“Ah, a lovely region!” Oak nodded. “And Pikachu and Aipom, too! I see you’re both looking healthy and fit!” He frowned as he looked upon Pikachu’s tired face. “…Not that you seem to be pleased about it.”

“Nah, Pikachu’s just a bit tired from the training we did on our trip.” Ash waved his hand.

“(I was promised a relaxing cruise trip to Sinnoh.)” Pikachu muttered sourly. “(Since the day we left port, we have done nothing but train on the cruise deck.)”

“(I guess being top Pokémon has its drawbacks.)” Aipom chuckled. “(After all, I didn’t get trained to death.)”

“(That’s because you were hiding in the cargo hold for half the trip!)” Pikachu snapped at her.

“Yeah, Aipom snuck on board. Cheeky little thing probably missed me.” Ash smiled as he scratched the monkey under the chin. “Which is kinda why I called. I need you to send Aipom’s Pokéball to me. Didn’t know she’d be coming along for the ride!”

Oak frowned. “Wait… you weren’t planning to just bring Pikachu, were you?”

“Yeah, I figured I’d start my Sinnoh journey fresh.” Ash replied, moving his hand to scratch under Pikachu’s chin, an act that the electric mouse happily relaxed into. “After all, Pikachu’s my third-strongest Pokémon. What could go wrong?”

“Murphy would probably put money on ‘everything’.” Oak replied sardonically. “Am, uh… am I to take it that you were planning to capture more Pokémon?”

“Obviously.” Ash replied, raising his eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well, it’s just… I’d prefer if you’d keep your captures to a minimum in this region.” Oak replied awkwardly. “Normally, I wouldn’t ask this of travelling Pallet Town trainers but… well, I’m currently at maximum capacity.”

Ash winced. “…Would this have anything to with my Taur-?”

“This might have something to do with your thirty, large, stampede-loving Tauros, yes.”

“Are you sure there isn’t any room left?”

“Not a centimetre. Between you and Gary, there’s barely enough room to accommodate the Pokémon of new trainers.” Oak sighed.

Ash folded his arms, his expression pained. “Oh, but then where can I send Pokémon that I catch in Sinnoh?”

“Send them to your mother. She’s got plenty of room on her ranch.” Oak suggested. “Actually, speaking of, have you called her recently?”

Ash started at Professor Oak, his expression completely still.

“…Yes.” Ash said slowly. “I called her before I left for Sinnoh.”

“That was almost a month ago.”

“…I know?” Ash asked uncomfortably.

Oak sighed. “Ash, you better give her a call. We don’t want another repeat of what happened in Johto.”

“Why do you guys keep bringing up Johto?”

“It took you a whole year to give us one phone call! The only reason we knew you weren’t dead was because I kept getting Pokémon from you!”

“I… well…” Ash spluttered. “Brock and Misty knew I wasn’t dead!”

“So did your Pokémon, and we couldn’t talk to them, either.” Oak said dismissively. “Look, just promise that you’ll call your mother once you take care of Team Rocket up there, will you? The longer you put it off, the worse it’ll be.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ash grumbled. “I was going to call her any-”

Ash blinked. “Wait, Team-?”

Before Ash could finish his sentence, a giant mechanical hand, insulated with rubber, descended down and grabbed Pikachu around the waist.

“(Oh, mother-!)” Pikachu snarled as the hand clasped around him.

“Pikachu!” Ash exclaimed as his yellow buddy was wrenched from his shoulder.

“ _(-Fuckerrrrrrrr!)_ ” Pikachu shouted as he was hoisted into the air, the hand retreating into the bottom of a large basket.

The basket in question was one of a hot air balloon, notable for its distinctive Meowth-head shape. Within the basket were five distinct shapes: a lean man with a blue mop for a haircut; a tiny pink humanoid Pokémon with a clown nose, perched upon the man’s shoulder; a blue punching bag with arms, one of which was saluting over its forehead; a catlike Pokémon, grinning with an unusual malevolent intelligence; and a curvaceous woman with an improbably long and curvy hairdo. They stood in the basket, leering down on the scene below, and they sang, “ _We’re heeerrrreeee~!_ ”

Aipom leapt off Ash’s shoulder, and Ash gritted his teeth, ready for a battle.

Team Rocket looked down at them.

Ash and Aipom continued glaring up at them.

Team Rocket continued looking down at them.

“…Wait, was that it?” Ash asked, confused.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Jessie shrugged. “We’re still working on our new motto.”

“Luckily for you, this means that this’ll be over quicker than usual.” James said coolly.

“So, we’re just goin’ to nab Pikachu and run!” Meowth said nastily, in what was almost perfect English. “Sound good?”

“No.” Ash replied.

“Neat! See ya!” Meowth replied, slapping a button on his remote. Two small engines popped out from the sides of the basket, propelling the hot air balloon forward at rocket speed.

“Oh, no you don’t! After them Aipom!” Ash cried, running after the nefarious ne’er-do-wells, Aipom following in tow.

There was silence on the port for a while, Oak’s unimpressed face flickering on the monitor.

“…And Murphy wins the pot once more.” He muttered as he reached for the disconnect button.

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 1: Delayed Beginnings**

* * *

As interesting as it would be to watch Ash Ketchum chase down Team Rocket for what must be around about the 450th time, the rest of this story actually begins in the village of Twinleaf Town – a place that was actually even _more_ boring than Sandgem Town. Regardless of this, it was in this quiet, dull little town that the famous Top Coordinator Johanna Berlitz resided, in a nice, modest, two-story villa on the outskirts of town.

She was currently sitting in her living room, a cup of tea in her hands and a Glameow curled at her feet. The sound of her fifteen-year-old daughter’s footsteps echoed from the floor above as she drank, getting louder and louder until she had bounded down the stairs and was right in front of her. As usual, she wore her white beanie, her pink boots, her black-and-pink skirt that was _far_ too short for Johanna’s liking, and her ever-present, ever-confident smile.

“Hey mom!” Dawn said happily. “I’ve finished packing!”

“I packed for you.” Johanna replied.

“Yeah, but I double-checked.” Dawn replied proudly.

Johanna sighed before giving her daughter a tired smile. “Well, I guess that means you’re ready to go off on your journey then!”

“I know! I’m so psyched!” Dawn exclaimed, leaping up into the air. “I can’t believe I’m finally going on my journey! How’d you even get Professor Rowan to give away a rare Pokémon to me?” Dawn asked her mother curiously.

“I paid him two and a half million Poké.” Johanna replied cheerfully.

“Yay!” Dawn pumped her fist into the air. “Thank Arceus we’re made out of money!”

“Yeah, sure, God’s the reason we’re made out of money.” Johanna said under her breath.

“What?” Dawn asked.

“Nothing, dearie!” Johanna deflected. “So, have you thought about what kind of trainer you want to be?”

“Ha!” Dawn giggled. “I didn’t even need to think twice! I’m going to be a Top Coordinator, just like you, mom!”

“I thought you might.” Johanna said. “In that case you might need this.”

Dawn gasped as Johanna handed her daughter a dirty old piece of metal on a crusty old ribbon. “Oh – my – _gosh!_ ” She squealed. “Is that…?!”

“My very first contest ribbon!” Johanna said proudly. “Keep it as a good luck charm!”

“ _Yes!_ ” Dawn gently cupped the ribbon in her hand as if it was a priceless Fabergé egg. “I’ll take extra care of it!”

“Now, Dawn.” Johanna said cautiously as Dawn vibrated with energy. “I know you’re excited to go on your journey, but before you leave, I want to make sure that you understand that once you leave, you’ll be on your own. You won’t have me around to do everything for you, you’ll only have yourself and your Pokémon. I don’t want you going out into the world with the mindset that everything will simply be handed to you… which I’ve admittedly imparted upon you regardless. Do you understand?”

“No need to worry, mom.” Dawn replied confidently, giving her mum the ‘thumbs up’. “I know what I’m doing!”

* * *

“ _Oh God, I have no idea what I’m doing!_ ” Dawn exclaimed as she desperately pedalled her bike up and down the streets of Sandgem Town. “Where is it? Where am I? Is it the big building? The small one? Why is this map so useless, _it doesn’t even have a compass rose!_ ” Dawn desperately studied the map, tears now pouring down her face. “ _Why do I have to do this myself?!_ ”

After about ten minutes of inconsolable sobbing while riding about town aimlessly, Dawn eventually bumped into a very tall man in a black coat, with a blue vest and tie underneath it. He looked down upon Dawn, most of his face hidden behind a stark white moustache, a pair of sideburns and a roughly combed white hairdo.

“H-hello l-large in-intimidating old guy.” Dawn stuttered through tears of vague hardship. “C-could you p-please point me i-in the direction o-of Professor R-Rowan’s lab?”

“Eh, maybe I could.” The old man replied in a gruff, deep voice, most of it obscured beneath his ‘stache. “What’s it to you?”

“I-I’m meant t-to receive my…” Dawn hiccupped. “…my starter Pokémon, b-but I can’t find it a-and it’s too hard and-”

The old man sighed. “Why do I always get the crying ones?” He muttered to himself. “Alright, I can direct you to my lab. I was just heading there myself.”

“Oh, thank _God!_ ” Dawn gasped. Then she blinked. “Wait, your lab? You mean you’re Professor Rowan?”

“Careful, might have to call you Holmes if you keep that kind of detective work up.” Professor Rowan replied.

“ _Yay_!” Dawn exclaimed in joy, leaping into the air. “I found Professor Rowan! No need to worry!”

“…That was a quick turnaround.” Rowan said uncertainly.

Dawn giggled. “I have wild mood swings!”

* * *

In retrospect, Dawn wasn’t quite sure how she had missed the laboratory. It was literally the largest building outside of town, with a giant windmill attached to the back of it. Perhaps she thought the lab would be _within_ the town, rather than _outside_ of it.

“Thanks for taking me to your lab, professor!” Dawn said brightly as she followed Rowan through the polished hallway of the Sandgem Research Lab.

“Yeah, well, you certainly made it easy.” Rowan replied, looking over his shoulder to peer at Dawn sternly. “All I did was tell you that I was Professor Rowan and that I could take you to my lab. I could’ve led you behind a warehouse shed to murder you and you wouldn’t have been any the wiser. Do you even realise how naïve you are?”

“…Um…” Dawn said uncertainly.

“Eh, that’s women for you, I guess.” Rowan shrugged, continuing on.

“ _Um…_!” Dawn said alarmedly.

A sliding door in front of them opened, revealing a small research room with what looked to be about three young men in white labcoats standing around a table with a Pokémon on it. The Pokémon looked to Dawn like a green turtle-like creature with a large head and brown shell, cheerfully eating from a bowl of pellets.

“Welcome to my lab.” Rowan said. “This is where I conduct research on Pokémon evolution – how it works, what triggers it, and so on.”

“That sounds interesting.” Dawn commented.

“No, it doesn’t.” Rowan replied bluntly.

“…Oh.”

“Science isn’t the only thing I do here, of course.” Rowan continued. “Since my research grant was suspended, I’ve been selling somewhat rare Pokémon to beginning trainers as a side gig. Usually, I only sell to boys – on account of them being of the superior sex – but since your mother paid me a _lot_ of money, I’m willing to make an exception.”

Rowan gestured toward the table. “You have three options to choose from: The Grass-type Turtwig, the Fire-”

Rowan’s hand moved to point to the empty place beside the obvious Tiny Leaf Pokémon.

“… _So_ , my supposedly highly-trained staff.” Rowan said to the men in labcoats. “Can’t help but notice that there is only _one_ Pokémon here. Is there a reason for that?”

“Yeah, so…” One of the men replied dully, scratching his rear. “We decided to, like, do an… experiment, where, like, we gave the… fire monkey less food than usual… then it, uh… like, stole from the blue… the blue bird. Then, like, the blue bird got angry… and it attacked, uh… and then… the monkey jumped out the window… and the bird followed him.

“…We’re still analysing the results.” The scientist shrugged.

Dawn and Rowan just stared at him.

“…You guys aren’t real scientists, are you?” Dawn asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Well, I am.” Rowan replied. “These idiots are from Craigslist. Since I’m not _technically_ a professor anymore, Canalave University won’t send me students that I can use. I’ve had to resort to hiring morons from the internet.”

“Dude, what… what’s this Pokémon? The one we have?” One of the ‘scientists’ said in a confused, sluggish tone, pointing towards the Turtwig, still happily eating away at its pellets.

“I think…” Another ‘scientist’ frowned in concentration. “…I think it’s a Squirtle, dude.”

“Absolutely shameful.” Rowan muttered. “Anyway, I need you to go get those Pokémon for me.”

“What?!” Dawn exclaimed, completely taken aback. “Why me? I’m an inexperienced teenage girl with no Pokémon! You guys are experienced adults _with_ Pokémon!”

“Yeah, I have three counterarguments to that assertion.” Rowan replied. “Firstly, I’m quite old, so I couldn’t go looking for them even if I wanted to. Second, as you’ve just seen, my staff are idiots and can’t be trusted with a Tamagotchi pet. Thirdly, I’m a man, you’re a woman, do what I tell you to do and don’t ask questions.”

“I…” Dawn spluttered in indignation, confusion, and a significant amount of anger. “ _No!_ No, I’m not going to do that! Fuck you!”

“Alright, you clearly need some motivation.” Rowan pointed out the broken window that the two Pokémon had escaped from. “Over in that direction is a group of Ariados, spider Pokémon that kill and eat anything unfortunate enough to come across them. Since they likely travelled in a straight line, they’ve probably headed straight towards them and will be dead by the hour. And the closest Pokémon ranger is at the least two hours away. As it stands, you’re probably the only person here who can save them in time.”

“So,” Rowan turned back to Dawn, her face contorted in fury and anguish. “What’s it going to be?”

* * *

“Piplup! Chimchar!” Dawn called out as she wandered through the forest aimlessly. “Come on out! People are worried about you!” She sighed. “At least, I hope they are.” She said quietly to herself.

Her steps were cautious and anxious, and her gaze as alert as it could be. She knew what kind of Pokémon she was looking for, thanks to the vague descriptions of Professor Rowan. Even so, finding the starters was proving to be harder than she thought. Almost too hard.

She felt something scratch against her leg and she cried out. Looking down, she saw a fresh tear in one of her leggings.

“Oh, come on!” She exclaimed. “Alright, no. I’m not doing this guy’s work for him.”

She turned around and started to walk away.

She slowed down and stopped.

Guiltily and apprehensively, she turned back and faced the forest.

Then she heard something.

She turned toward the sound, suddenly alert. Then, she started running towards it. The sound became louder, more distinct, until she could distinguish two different voices, one that had an ‘ip’ sound, and another that had a ‘har’ sound.

“Piplup? Chimchar?” Dawn shouted as she rounded a clearing. “Is that yoooouuuuuaahhh-!?” Dawn skidded to a halt, her eyes shooting wide open.

In front of her was a massive, silky web, easily six feet across. Within it were a number of scared, writhing Pokémon, most of them common field Pokémon with three exceptions: a blue penguin, a red, fiery monkey, and a maroon spider that, unlike the others, was _not_ restrained by the webbing.

“(This is all your fault!)” The Piplup screeched at the monkey, desperately trying to free himself from the sticky threads of silk.

“(How is this my fault? You’re the one who stole my lunch!)” The Chimchar cried back, pulling at his restraints.

“(You stole my lunch!)”

“(Struggle all you like, bitch, you ain’t gettin’ outta my web.)” The Ariados chittered.

“Oh… oh no.” Dawn whispered. “What do I do? What do I do? That asshole didn’t even give me a Pokémon!”

“(Hey, I see you there, human.)” The Ariados cackled as it scuttled down to the Piplup. “(You better not fuck with my food, or I’ma fuck with you!)”

“(Oh God, someone please help me! _I’m too awesome to die like this!_ )” The Piplup shrieked and struggled harder against the webbing.

It occurred to Dawn that the smartest thing to do at this point was to run. She tried her best, gave it her all, but now her life was in danger, and hey, her life was more valuable than that of an animal. After all, there was still a Turtwig at the lab, she could just take that one and be on her way, no harm done to her.

However, there was something about witnessing this Pokémon screaming in genuine terror that triggered a long-dormant protective instinct within her. She reached down, grabbed a nearby rock, and with a mighty cry, she hurled it at the Long Leg Pokémon with all her strength.

It bounced harmlessly off the spider’s abdomen. It looked up at her, irritated.

“…Yeah, I don’t know what I thought would happen.” Dawn muttered faintly.

“(Bitch, you just interrupted my lunch.)” The Ariados chittered. “(You’re gonna die now, motherfucker.)”

Dawn shrieked as a hail of venomous purple darts flew towards her. She dodged to the side, barely avoiding them. She watched them impact against the ground, where they exploded for some reason.

Dawn rarely did her best work under pressure, but even though her brain was reeling from the fact that she almost just _died_ then, an idea came to her head.

The Ariados leapt from its web, letting loose another round of Poison Stings. Dawn got on her feet and took off, just barely dodging the poisonous needles as they flew over her head. With the word ‘shit’ echoing in her head on repeat, she leapt in front of the Ariados’s web and waited.

The second she saw the violet darts coming, she leapt to the side. As she figured, the darts that flew past her impacted against the web and exploded, causing the silky strands to tear apart and release the Pokémon within it.

What Dawn did not figure was that the darts had a pretty wide spread and were crazy fast. About four darts pierced her side as she leapt. She hit the ground hard along with the Pokémon. For a moment, the shock prevented her from feeling the pain.

Then she felt it. She then proceeded to scream something awful that she would never, in her life, ever say in polite company, clutching her waist where the needles had pierced her.

“(W-T- _Fuck,_ bro!)” The Ariados snarled as the previously trapped Pokémon started running away, with two dazed exceptions. “(Oh, you fucked up now, you little _bitch_. Me and my buddies are gonna fuck. You. _Up!_ Boys! Get at her!”

Upon which, about five other spider-like Pokémon and a dozen smaller, green spider Pokémon emerged from the trees, all of them chittering rapidly and angrily.

“ _Oh, dear God!_ ” Dawn shrieked, leaping to her feet and picking up the struggling bodies of Piplup and Chimchar, her adrenaline temporarily overriding her pain. “Shit, shit, shit, _shit!_ ” She exclaimed as she ran from the horde of cruel Bug-types, a hail of Poison Stings falling behind her.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about this!” Dawn said quickly to the Pokémon she held in her arms as she ran through the forest. “Are you two okay?”

“(…Lady, you just saved my life.)” Piplup chirped quietly.

“(‘Saved’ is kinda subjective here, dude.)” Chimchar said, nervously looking over Dawn’s shoulder.

“I’m here to save you two!” Dawn smiled to them, trying to keep a cheerful face. “I’m…”

The adrenaline wore off.

“…really not doing too good.” She said weakly. Her legs gave way and she collapsed to the ground. The two Pokémon fell from her grasp with a yelp from both.

“(…Lady?)” Piplup said nervously as he got up.

“(Oh, lady, I’ve got some _bad_ news.)” Chimchar winced as Dawn grasped her injury, blood flowing freely from the wound. “(You are _super_ gonna die.)”

“…Is that my own blood?” Dawn asked faintly, looking at her crimson-stained hand.

A silky string of silk came from above, trapping Dawn’s feet to the ground. She screamed and looked up at the mass of spider Pokémon. It was no longer clear whether her paleness was from the blood loss or from the sheer terror of the situation.

“(I warned you, bitch!)” The main Ariados shrieked gleefully. “(We’re gonna fuck you up!)”

“(You’re gonna die, human!)” Another Ariados chittered.

“(Made a fuckin’ mistake coming here!)” A third Ariados screeched.

“(I’m going to drink your vital fluids!)” A Spinarak said in an adorable voice befitting a little squishy bug Pokémon.

“(…Yeah, I’m gonna go.)” Chimchar muttered, bounding off into the forest. “(Pretty sure I know how this’ll end.)”

“( _Where are you going?!_ )” Piplup cried, backing away as the Bug-types advanced.

 _I’m going to die._ Dawn thought to herself, genuine tears of fear rolling down her face. _It’s only my first day, and I’m going to die._

“(Uh…)” Piplup said uncertainly, looking between Dawn and the Ariados.

“(Alright boys, let’s fuck her up with Poison Sting!)” The lead Ariados said raising one of its forelegs as a signal.

“Please…” Dawn begged weakly.

It occurred to Piplup that the smartest thing to do at this point was run. As much as he touted his own horn, he was not a particularly strong Pokémon. If he stayed, he was probably going to die. And hey, this human _probably_ knew what she was getting into, she knew the risks. No harm done in saving his own skin.

Piplup was not known for doing the smartest thing in any given situation.

As the hail of violet stingers fell towards Dawn, paralysed with fear and pain, Piplup leapt in front of her, held his flippers in front of him and whispered, “(Endure.)”

Dawn’s eyes widened as Piplup took the full brunt of the Ariados attack, the Poison Stings shattering against his body. For five incredibly tense seconds, he stood there, taking the attacks without letting up an inch.

When was over, he lowered his flippers and glared at the spider Pokémon.

“(Bro, did you see that?!)” One of the Ariados cried in alarm. “(That guy just took all of our attacks like it was nothing!)”

“(I know, I saw it!)” The lead Ariados responded, equally as alarmed. “(Bro, we need to get the _fuck_ out of here, this guy’s on a whole ‘nother level!)”

Intimidated, the entire horde of Ariados turned around and scuttled away.

“…Piplup…” Dawn whispered in awe.

“(…Yeah, that’s _right!_ ) Piplup said, grinning. “(I can… I can take whatever you can throw at me…)” He lurched forward. “(I’m gonna pass out real quick, I’ll be right back...)”

Upon this, Piplup toppled forward and passed out.

Dawn looked down at the Pokémon that had just saved her life. Her body now completely drained of adrenaline, all of the day’s events suddenly caught up with her. From the pain, shock, exhaustion and relief of not dying, her eyes rolled back in her skull and she fainted, falling over backwards.

* * *

“(…Hey, I think she’s waking up.)”

Dawn tried to open her eyes. The results were blurry and indistinct.

“(…So she is. And here I thought we’d lost her.)”

Dawn groaned and tried to blink the blurriness away. She heard a couple of sounds, but they were vague and unclear.

“(What do we do?)”

“(I sense confusion in her. Our presence will likely add to it. We’ll leave and let the Guardian see if her choice was correct.)”

Her brain attempted to make sense of the situation. It failed, shorted out, and Dawn fell back into unconsciousness.

* * *

Dawn winced, then slowly opened her eyes.

The results were surprising for a variety of reasons, the first of which being that she was alive and that she had not died in the horrifying experience she had just had.

The second was that she was no longer dy _ing_. She tentatively confirmed this by reaching for her waist and wincing at the dull stab of pain. She felt blood, sure, but it was dried up and gross. In fact, her wounds seemed to be completely healed. So that was nice, if inexplicable.

The third surprise was that she appeared to be in a completely different location, which she confirmed by turning her head to the side. She blinked away the remaining blurriness to see a large body of what looked to be water. Lake Verity.

“Wha…?” Dawn murmured. She briefly tried to figure out how she could’ve moved half an hour west, then gave up and decided she didn’t care. She wasn’t near the Ariados. That was good enough reason for her.

She sat up, wincing as she did so. Even though she didn’t seem to be seriously injured anymore, her body still ached, more so than it ever had in her life. She looked herself over, inspecting the damage. She had a few bruises on her legs, her leggings were torn, her dress was shredded where the Poison Stings had hit her, and her hair was completely ruined.

Other than that, she was physically fine.

“…I am never coming back to this town again.” Dawn muttered, dazed.

“(Urgh…)”

Dawn looked to her side. A small, penguin-like Pokémon was slowly coming to beside her.

“(Where… where am I?)” Piplup groaned. “(Am I dead? This doesn’t look like heaven… I don’t _think_ I’m dead.)”

Dawn smiled. She gently picked up the little penguin. “Hey, Piplup.” She whispered. “Are you okay?”

“(Wait… you’re the lady who saved back there.)” Piplup said in realisation. “(Did you take us here?)”

“That was a really brave thing you did back there.” Dawn said in appreciation. “You saved my life.”

“(Lady, you saved _my_ life.)” Piplup waved his fin confidently. “(We’re just even now.)”

“My name’s Dawn. I’m a beginning trainer from Twinleaf Town. Professor Rowan sent me to find you and Chimchar. I… guess I didn’t figure how much trouble you’d get yourself in.”

“(Wait, you work for _him?_ )” Piplup asked in astonishment. “(…You don’t sound like someone who would. Or look like it, for that matter.)”

“Let’s get you back to the lab.” Dawn said, slowly getting up with Piplup in her arms. “I dunno where Chimchar went, but frankly, I’m not in any shape to find him.”

“(He also left us to die. I don’t know if you were paying attention to that.)”

Dawn looked down at the penguin with a tired smile before embracing him. “…Thank you, Piplup.”

“(Hey, what are-?!)” Piplup started angrily, before stopping and relaxing. “(Oh… okay. Yeah. I am pretty awesome.)”

They stood there for a moment, the wind gently blowing past them.

Then the wind really started blowing.

Dawn looked over, turning around to face the lake where the wind was coming from. Piplup looked over his shoulder with her.

The surface of the lake rippled.

As Dawn and Piplup stared, a shape emerged from the waters of the lake, its form only barely visible. It looked towards her, twin tails floating gently behind it, a strange otherworldly aura flowing across the lake.

Dawn looked directly at the image.

It looked back.

_You are chosen._

The shape faded. The wind died down and the lake’s surface returned to normal.

Both Dawn and Piplup stared at where they had seen the image, dumbfounded.

“…What the _fuck is HAPPENING TODAY?!”_ Dawn shrieked.

* * *

It was a very sorry-looking Dawn Berlitz who returned to Professor Rowan’s laboratory. Her clothes scuffed and torn, Piplup in her arms, she walked inside and made her way to the main room.

“Welcome back!” Professor Rowan said cheerfully when she entered. “Took you long enough, but it seems like you managed to get both Chimchar and Piplup back here safely.”

“ _Yeah, I did!_ ” Dawn snapped, her clothes scuffed and torn, Piplup in her arms. “Thanks for all the help, _asshole!_ ”

“Don’t mention it.” Rowan replied. “Now that that’s all done, we can finally get around to why you came here in the first place.” He cleared his throat. “You have three choices: the Grass-”

“Piplup.” Dawn said immediately.

“…You sure? There are two objectively superior options on that table over there.”

Dawn glared at him. “I don’t know if I could communicate to you in words exactly what I’ve been through today, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned today,” She looked down to Piplup with a happy smile on her face. “It’s that Piplup and I are going to look out for each other, no matter what.”

“(Woo!)” Piplup cheered. “(I’m leaving! See ya, bitches!)”

Rowan shrugged. “Well, that’s very clearly the incorrect option, but I suppose thinking like that is to be expected from you.”

“Because you’re a woman.” He clarified.

“And therefore physically and mentally frail.” He elucidated.

“…Can you just give me my trainer licence so I can leave?” Dawn asked angrily. “I’m _really_ looking forward to never seeing you again.”

“(Same.)” Piplup added, unimpressed.

Rowan handed her a tray, upon which were six small red-and-white metal capsules and a small, phone-like pink device. “Here you are, license is on the Pokédex, press the button on the Pokédex to scan things, yada yada.” He told her. “Six Pokéballs as well, I assume you know how those work. Now get the hell off my property so I can do some science without interference.”

“Gladly.” Dawn said as she took the devices. She turned and left, unable to leave the building quickly enough.

Stepping out into the open air, Dawn took a deep breath and sighed. It was already dusk, the sun setting over Sandgem Town. What she had thought would be a fairly simple first step had turned into the most harrowing ordeal she had ever experienced in her life.

A significant part of her was tempted to give up, like usual. Go home, where she knew she’d be safe, warm and secure. After all, if she told her mum what had happened on her first day as a trainer, she’d never be allowed to leave the house ever again. She’d certainly never again have to fight the Ariados that would now haunt her darkest nightmares for years to come.

But that was just it. She’d never be allowed to leave again. She’d never be able to pursue her dream of being a coordinator if her mum knew what today had been for her. Well, Dawn was not going to give up this time. This time, she was going to see this through to the end, whatever that might be.

Besides, whatever was in store for her in the future, it couldn’t be any worse that what she had been through today.

“…Alright, Piplup.” Dawn said tiredly. “First, we’re going to go to a Pokémon centre. We’re going to relax, book a room for the night, I’m going to have a bath and…” Her smile faltered. “…a very long cry…” She straightened up. “But come tomorrow, we’re going to head out for Jubilife City. I’m going to become Top Coordinator, no matter what, with you alongside as my partner! What do you say?”

“(Well, I don’t know what any of those things are, but let’s do it!)” Piplup pumped his fin into the air.

With that, the two new partners headed back into the town of Sandgem, their destinies unknown and full of potential.


	2. Incensed and Incompetent

Normally, the forests of Sinnoh were quite peaceful, with only the chirping of Starly and the buzzing of Combee.

Unfortunately, as the occasional explosion seemed to inform everyone, what was normal for Ash Ketchum was not normal for Sinnoh.

Despite the rockets attached to the basket, Team Rocket’s balloon was not travelling all that much faster than Ash, and the young boy was able to keep up with them quite well. Between him and the balloon was a barrage of star-shaped rays from Swift, flying Pin Missiles, and the occasional Thunderbolt from a very angry Pikachu.

“Give him back!” Ash yelled at the trio as he pursued them. “Aipom, don’t let up those Swifts!”

“(Got it, boss!)” Aipom shouted back as she swung a few more rays at them.

“(Keep it up, monkey!)” Taunted a spherical cactus-like Pokémon atop the balloon’s edge, firing another round of Pin Missiles. “(I can counter anything you throw at me!)”

Despite Cacnea’s assertions to the contrary, the latest attack shook the basket a bit, and the trio yelped as they tried to right themselves. Jessie leaned over the basket and snorted in contempt. “Foolish twerp! You really don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“ _I_ don’t know when to quit?!” Ash shouted in outrage. “You guys have been following me around for _five years!_ Do you seriously have nothing better to do than try and steal my pet mouse?!”

Jessie said nothing for a moment.

She looked at James.

James looked at Meowth.

Meowth looked back at Jessie.

“We don’t have to answer that.” Jessie replied.

The basket shook again as a round of Swift rays struck them. This time, Cacnea was knocked back into the basket and into James’ arms with a cry of pain.

“Cacnea!” James exclaimed in worry and anger. “We need to lose the twerp, fast!”

“I’m on it!” Meowth exclaimed, pulling out a remote. “I have somethin’ that should be able to-”

“We don’t have time for a crackpot invention!” Jessie exclaimed. “Wobbuffet, Counter, now!”

“(Wobbuffet!)” Wobbuffet exclaimed leaping in front of the next barrage of star-shaped rays.

Meowth’s eyes widened in alarm “Okay, that is a _bad idea_ , and if you give me jus’ five seconds-!”

A thin red shield covered Wobbuffet’s body as the rays approached, to seemingly no effect as the rays collided with the blue Pokémon and sending him flying back into the basket on top of both Meowth and Jessie.

One of the stars flew into the balloon, and before anyone could react in a meaningful manner, a colossal explosion ripped through the forest.

“…What happened?” Jessie said quietly.

“I think we’re blasting off.” James replied modestly.

“It’d seem so.” Meowth confirmed nonchalantly.

The villains looked at each other for a moment, before proceeding to scream in abject terror as they hurtled away about a hundred metres in the air.

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 2: Incensed and Incompetent**

* * *

It was a strangely jubilant Dawn who was riding down along Route 202 towards Jubilife City, Piplup riding in the front basket. Sporting a different, unscathed, yet visually identical dress, she was a far cry from the terrified young teenager who had almost died to a horde of giant spiders just the day before.

“Alright Piplup, today’s officially our first day out on the road!” She said, smiling down at her new partner. “We’re gonna head to Jubilife City and take part in the Jubilife Pokémon Contest, and then we’re going to continue all the way to become the Sinnoh Top Coordinator! You with me?”

“(All the way! Woo!)” Piplup cheered. He turned his head to face her. “(…What’s a Pokémon Contest?)”

“The first step is to assemble a team.” Dawn said, focusing on the road ahead. “Any self-respecting Coordinator has a repertoire of Pokémon to choose from in a contest. This route’s probably a good place to catch something!”

“(What’s a Pokémon Contest?)”

“Keep a look out, Piplup. We’re looking for a cute-looking Pokémon, like a Shinx, or a Starly.”

Both of them kept an eye out on the light plains of the route, Dawn peddling lightly down the dirt road. Suddenly, Piplup piped up. “(Over there! Pokémon, ten o’clock!)”

Dawn came to a stop, looking excitedly in the direction Piplup pointed. “Oh, wow! It’s a…”

About twenty feet away, a plump, brown beaver Pokémon was happily munching on some grass. It sat up and looked around with a goofy grin on its face. It blinked slowly, one eye after the other.

“…You know, on second thought, we don’t _have_ to catch the first Pokémon that we see…” Dawn said hesitantly.

“(Oh, come on, it’s a _Bidoof!_ )” Piplup said indignantly. “(I can take him easy!)”

Dawn sighed. “Yeah, alright, book by its cover and everything.” She got off her bike and pulled out her Pokédex. “Alright, let’s see how this thing works.”

Holding it up to face the Plump Mouse Pokémon, she pressed the button on the side of the Pokédex. Immediately, the screen opened up to reveal a barrage of textual information in a font size _almost_ too small for the screen size. The only element that she could immediately make sense of was a picture of a Bidoof at the top of the screen.

“O-okay.” Dawn said uncertainly. “That’s… overwhelming. Uh…” She squinted at the screen. “…Says here that it’s a Normal type. I don’t _think_ it has an advantage over Water.” She put the Pokédex away. “Alright, uh… Piplup, open up with Bubble!”

“(Easy!)” Piplup leapt forward. “(Hey, beaver! Think fast!)”

The Bidoof looked up at Piplup gormlessly. A weak stream of bubbles flew from Piplup’s mouth and hit the mouse square on the face. It fell over.

Dawn squealed in excitement. She was giving orders and battling, like a proper Pokémon trainer. She felt elated, hopeful, excited, and more.

“(Ha! That’s right!)” Piplup cried confidently. “(Come at me with your next move, I dare-!)”

The Bidoof got back up, curling into a ball and suddenly zooming forth. The penguin Pokémon was struck in the stomach before he could finish gloating, flying backwards and hitting the ground.

“Piplup!” Dawn cried in alarm. “Are you alright?”

“(Y-yeah, I’m fine.)” Piplup replied, getting up. “(I just-)”

The Bidoof rammed into Piplup again, spinning into him like a wheel. Piplup flew forward, skidding his face across the ground. (“ _Mmmphpsaagagra!_ ”)

“Get up Piplup!” Dawn commanded. “Dodge those attacks!”

“(I’m trying, but he’s getting-!)” Piplup tried to explain, but the Bidoof rammed into him one last time. Piplup flew backwards, ploughing through the dirt and grass before coming to a stop at Dawn’s feet, knocked out cold.

The Bidoof uncurled itself and resumed eating the grass, its eyes slightly crossed.

“…Oh.” Dawn said in a small voice. “This isn’t a good start.”

* * *

Ash burst through the foliage, looking around anxiously. “Pikachu! Where are you?”

“(Pikachu!?)” Aipom cried out. “(Jeez, boss, do you think he’s alright?! Is he dead?! He can’t be dead! I can’t let my last words to him be ‘sucks to be you’!)”

“Aipom, relax. The explosion would’ve hurt him pretty bad, but it couldn’t have killed him.” Ash replied, running in the direction he saw Pikachu fall. “I’m more worried that he could fall into a lake, or right in front of Team Rocket.”

The boy and his Pokémon emerged from the forest near a dirt road, wide enough for two cars.

“(Or, you know, got hit by a very large and heavy object,)” Aipom said anxiously. “(Hurtling along and a hundred kilometres an hour.)”

“N-no, Aipom, don’t be silly.” Ash muttered, just as anxiously. He pointed at a nearby sign. “The speed limit’s sixty.”

“(Oh, _that’s_ a comfort!)”

Ash pulled out a map from his backpack. “We should start by trying to figure out roughly where he landed.” He frowned. “Jeez, where even am I…? Alright mountains to the…” Ash looked up and frowned. “…North? I think…? …No, east. Mountains to the east. And I arrived in Sandgem town, which is…” Ash traced his finger along the edge of the map. “…uhhhhh...”

“(Dude, hurry up!)” Aipom snapped.

“ _I’ve never been good at this, get off my back!_ ”

The honking of a loud horn interrupted Ash’s thoughts. He blinked and looked up, spotting a truck heading towards him. He stepped to the side of the road as the truck approached, slowly slowing down until it stopped in front of him. Ash raised an eyebrow as the door opened.

A familiar tanned man with spiky hair and completely closed eyes stepped out, a faded orange hazard vest over a green shirt.

“Brock?” Ash asked, surprised.

“Hey, Ash!” The ex-Pewter City Gym Leader said, jumping down from the truck. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Same.” Ash smiled, shaking his old friend’s hand. “I didn’t know you’d already arrived.”

“Yeah, I came into Sinnoh a week ago.” Brock replied. “I would’ve have met you at the port, but I had to take care of some things for the family before.”

“All good.” Ash looked at the truck. “Whose truck is this?”

“This is not just _any_ truck, Ash!” Brock suddenly proclaimed, a familiar look of fantastical infatuation upon his face. “This is the truck of Claudina, the love of my life! We’ve been on the road for only a couple of days, but we’re already on a one-way road to true love!”

“Heeeey, _buddy_.” A very tense-looking woman with deep blue hair said, looking directly at Ash. “Do you know this guy?”

“…Will I get in trouble if I say yes?” Ash asked hesitantly.

“Oh, look at that Brock, it seems like we’ve found your friend, I guess we’ll just have to see each other again _never!_ ” The woman said quickly, slamming the truck door and immediately putting her foot down on the accelerator.

“No, Claudina, wait!” Brock cried out as the truck sped off, leaving him in a cloud of dust. “I have yet to write you my elaborate love confessiooooonnnnnnn…!”

“…Glad to see that restraining order hasn’t dampened your spirits, buddy.” Ash said resignedly after the dust had settled and the truck had disappeared.

“Love is like a battlefield, Ash!” Brock replied dramatically. “You have to constantly put your heart out on the line if you want to make any progress!”

“(I’m pretty sure you’ve made _negative_ progress with that attitude.)” Aipom pointed out.

“For now, of course, it is not to be.” Brock said, a glint of sadness in his very-much closed eyes. “I must continue on, a bachelor on the road! With me, you, and…” Brock stopped, suddenly confused. “Wait… where’s Pikachu?”

Ash sighed. “You’re not going to believe this.”

* * *

“Good thing I learnt from yesterday and stocked up on potions!” Dawn said brightly, riding through the forest. “Couple sprays of that stuff healed your wounds right up!” She winced. “…Won’t do anything for your pride, though.”

“(I lost to a fucking _Bidoof._ )” Piplup moaned, lying inside the bicycle basket. “(How? _How did I lose to a Bidoof?!_ )”

She slowed down, coming to a stop and sighing, tired. “Maybe we should stop here, have a break and a snack.” She kicked the bike’s kickstand down and hopped off. “Want some?”

“(I’m supposed to be awesome!)” Piplup cried, still lying down. “(How can I be awesome if I can be bested by some stupid _beaver?!_ )”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Arceus, you’re a drama queen. Look, do you want to eat, or do you want to moan for the rest of the day?”

“(…I wanna eat.)” Piplup muttered, sitting up.

Under the shade of a nearby tree, Dawn and Piplup ate, Piplup feasting on some Pokémon pellets and Dawn on a pre-packaged sandwich she had brought from the Poké-Mart in Sandgem town – neither of them finding their meals particularly enjoyable. Dawn started browsing through her Pokédex, trying to distract herself from the dryness of her meal.

“(…Swap you?)” Piplup asked, holding up his half-eaten pellet. “(That thing at least has some cucumber in it.)”

“Man, this thing is pretty useful.” Dawn said, scrolling through the information on the device. “It’s got a habitat list, a move list, a type list… I scanned you just then, and it’s got everything. It’s even tells you how rare a Pokémon is to be found in the wild!” She frowned. “I just wish it was easier to read…”

“(…Rarity, huh? How rare is that thing, then?)” Piplup asked, pointing his fin upwards to the trees.

“Hm? What’s up?” Dawn followed his flipper, looking up to see a black, bug-like creature, covered in a coat of leaves.

“(‘Sup.)” It said.

“Hey… that’s a Burmy!” Dawn immediately leaping up, her sandwich forgotten. “And they’re pretty rare for this area! That _must_ mean it’s good!”

“(Alright, let’s go!)” Piplup leapt up as well, confidence surging through his body.

“Let’s catch it!” Dawn said determinedly. “Piplup! Use Bubble!”

The Burmy looked down, unamused at the small stream of bubbles heading towards it. A green, fluorescent shield formed in front of it, causing the bubbles to burst before they even hit the bug-type.

“(You suck.)” The Burmy said dully.

“Uh… use Bubble again?” Dawn said uncertainly.

This time, when the bubbles hit the shield, the shield fizzled out before it could block the bubbles, scoring a direct hit. With a cry of, ‘(Ow.)’, the Burmy fell to the ground and its cloak of leaves fell apart. Quickly, it started moving to rebuild its cloak, muttering to itself, ‘(No. No. No. No.)’

“(Yeah, that’s right!)” Piplup huffed. “(Alright Dawn, throw a Pokéball now!)”

“Wow, Piplup, that was great work!” Dawn said brightly.

“(Yeah, I know. Throw a Pokéball.)”

“Man, that thing is working super-fast to rebuild its cloak.” Dawn noted, taking interest in the Burmy’s speed.

“(Throw a Pokéball.)”

“I wonder how I’d be able to use that in a contest?” Dawn mused.

“( _Dawn, throw a goddamn Pokéball!_ )” Piplup yelled as the Burmy finished gathering up the remains of its natural clothing.

“Huh? What- _Oh shit, there’s a step two!_ ” Dawn yelped, desperately reaching into her backpack. “Where is it? Where are the Pokéballs?!”

“(Why are they in your backpack?! Why aren’t they in your hand?!)”

“Shit, shit… ah!” Dawn pulled out one of the red-and-white capsules victoriously, still miniaturised. “Got it!” Victoriously, she whirled around to face the Burmy.

Or rather, the empty space where the Burmy used to be.

Piplup folded his fins and sighed. “(Alright, that one was your B.)”

Beside him, Dawn’s legs trembled and a choking sound escaped her.

“(…Dawn?)”

“Why do I fucking _suck?_ ” Dawn collapsed to the ground, tears already streaming down her face. “I just want to catch Pokémon and be in contests, why does it have to be so _hard-d-d-d?!_ ”

Piplup was no stranger to immature behaviour, being a practitioner of it himself. Regardless, he found himself completely taken aback and unsure of himself at this sight. “(Uh… you, uh, you alright?)”

“(Dawn?)” He asked after she didn’t respond, continuing to sob beside him.

Piplup looked between her and their abandoned lunch, then said, “(Dawn, keep crying if you want me to eat the rest of your sandwich.)”

She curled into a ball and wept like a child. Piplup took that as confirmation and waddled away.

* * *

“Counter. Mirror Coat.”

“Alright, alright, let it go already.”

“Wobbuffet only knows _two moves_.” Meowth muttered. “ _Two_. And you _somehow_ picked the wrong one.”

“I _know_ , Meowth!” Jessie snapped at him.

The three Team Rocketeers marched meanderingly through the forest, no goal in mind and not a scrap of food in their bellies. James was in lead by virtue of being the only one not engaged in argument, his back sloped as he miserably led his bickering comrades through the forest.

“I just don’t understand how you even did that.” Meowth continued. “How do you forget the functions of the only two moves that Wobbuffet knows?”

“Look, they both do the same thing, of course I’m going to occasionally mix them up!” Jessie said defensively.

“They do _not_ do the same thing! Counter is for _physical_ moves, Mirror Coat is for _energy_ moves! It’s not that hard to memorise!”

“Maybe not for you college-types…” Jessie grumbled.

“And I warned you, I warned _both_ of you’se that we had to be careful, ‘cause I was usin’ hydrogen for the balloon to see if it was more efficient! I said we had to prioritize on defence! And you just go ahead and ruin the whole thin’!”

“Oh, hydrogen this, hydrogen that, what even _is_ a hydrogen?!”

“It’s an _explosive gas, ya’ stupid bint!_ ”

“Urgh.” James moaned at the two kept arguing. “With friends like these, who needs the twerps?”

Something arose in the distance. James squinted and frowned, before blinking in surprise. Past the trees, he could see a moderately-sized cottage with a neat red roof atop a hill, an estate surrounded by a perimeter wall about a kilometre wide. With a gasp of delight as he recognised it, he cried, “Chums! Take a look!”

The two Rocketeers behind them stopped their arguing for a moment, peering over James’s shoulder. “A house?” Jessie asked, raising an eyebrow. “An oddly quaint house to be surrounded by such a wall.”

“It’s not just any house, dear Jessie.” James said happily. “That’s my family’s second summer cottage!”

“You have a _second_ holiday house?” Meowth asked in disbelief.

“Yes, we came to this one whenever the first one needed cleaning.” James replied casually.

“Perfect! We can recuperate here before starting on our next plan!” Jessie said, grinning. “Thank God your parents are made out of money!”

Sneaking into the cottage proved to be deceptively easy. Although the gate was locked, the wall was completely unguarded, allowing the trio to scale it without incident. Remembering it like it was yesterday, James led the trio to the cottage and to the front door, picking up the key underneath the pot and stepping inside.

“Oh, this is fantastic!” James declared, stepping inside his old playroom, the furniture covered, and the curtains drawn. “I haven’t been here since I was ten! I forgot how large this room was!”

“As much as I hate to rain on your parade, we _are_ here for a reason.” Jessie pointed out. “We need to grab supplies, and-”

She was interrupted by another childlike cry of delight as James got up and ran towards a large wooden box. “My old toybox! I wonder if it’s still there?”

“…Don’t ignore me.” Jessie said irritably.

James opened up the box, delicately reaching through the collection of playthings before pulling out a small ornate box. “Yes! My childhood treasure chest!”

“Alright, now, James, when you say ‘treasure’, do you…?” Meowth started to ask.

“Bottlecaps!” James declared, snapping open the box.

“There it is.” Meowth sighed.

Indeed, piled into the box was a mound of the tiny pieces of metal and plastic, each of them unique and perfectly polished. In the middle of the mound, to James’s surprise, there was something else.

“Wait… A Pokéball?” James said, confused and slightly concerned. “Could it be…?”

“You kept a Pokémon in there?” Jessie asked.

“Yes, I hid it to stop my parents from releasing him, but…” James tried to explain, a growing sense of alarm within him. “But this box hasn’t been opened in years!”

“Oh… It’s probably dead, then.”

“Yeah, that jus’ shows that neither of ya understand how Pokéballs work.” Meowth replied, rolling his eyes. “When a Pokémon’s in one of dose things, all their biological functions are slowed to a crawl. Poisons, hunger, aging, everythin’. Hell, they can keep a Pokémon alive even if they’re in a critical condition.”

“For years.” Meowth added.

“Forever hovering in the limbo between life and death.” He clarified.

“Oh God, Carnivine!” James cried, panickily opening the Pokéball, the white energy spilling out and forming a Pokémon. “Are you okay?”

The giant Venus flytrap with leafy arms and tentacle-vine legs didn’t respond for a moment.

Then it started laughing.

Slowly, it turned to the Team Rocket Trio, its cackling growing in intensity and volume as it set its eyes, pupils shrunk and aflame with madness, directly upon James.

“Carnivine?” James said uncertainly.

The Grass-type lunged forward, snapping its jaws over James’s head, sending Jessie and Meowth leaping back with a pair of panicked yelps.

“(Oh, _James!_ )” Carnivine cried, wrapping its leafy appendages around his master even as it bit down on his neck. “(It’s been far, _far_ too long! Ha, ha! _Hahahahaha!_ )”

“Oh, Carnivine, I missed you too!” James cried, wrapping his arms around his old friend. “I never should have left you here!”

“(It was so _cold_ , James!)” The Bug Catcher Pokémon giggled insanely. “(So _cold_ and _dark_! And the hunger, the _never-ending hunger!_ )”

“We’re going to go on adventures again, just like we said we would!” James promised into the creature’s mouth. “We’ll never be apart ever again, I promise you!”

“(I’m going to eat the whole world, James! I’m going devour everything and everyone, starting with your lousy, no-good, _whoreson parents!_ _Hahahahahahahaha!_ )”

“…I’m confused.” Jessie said, confusedly watching the scene playing out in front of her. “What does this mean?”

With a disturbed look on his face, Meowth replied, “It means that we just added a psycho to the team.”

* * *

“You know what, Piplup?” Dawn said cheerfully as she bicycled through the forest. “Just because we’ve had two consecutive failures doesn’t mean that we can give up now! After all, I didn’t go through that horrible, life-threatening experience yesterday just to turn tail at the first sign of difficulty!”

“(I feel like this mental instability is going to be a theme with you, and that kinda makes me regret this whole partnership thing.)” Piplup muttered, sitting in the front basket.

“That’s the spirit!” Dawn pumped her fist into the air. “No need to worry!”

“(…Yaaaay.)” Piplup said in fake enthusiasm.

They continued on, riding through the forest, Dawn whistling a tune in a tone that was a bit _too_ cheery. It wasn’t long until Dawn noticed something. She pulled the brakes on her bike and kicked back the kickstand. “Piplup, you see that?”

From a nearby bush, a small, fat yellow mouse Pokémon stumbled into view, covered in bruises and cuts. He hobbled out of the bush and collapsed forward, landing on his face.

“(Ow.)” The mouse muttered.

“Huh. I think that’s a Pikachu.” Dawn noted, quickly checking her Pokédex. “Yeah, it is.” She frowned. “Electric-type… we’re not exactly at an advantage.”

“(I can take him!)” Piplup immediately declared, leaping down from the bike basket. “(I’m awesome! Let’s do it!)”

“…Yeah… yeah!” Dawn declared confidently. “We can do this! It already looks pretty injured, anyway. Alright Piplup, attack with Pound!”

“(Oh, jeez.)” The Pikachu rubbed his eyes. “(Listen, I’m really not in the mood for this, I just-)”

“(Banzai!)” Piplup cried, rushing forth and slapping the Pikachu across the face with his fin.

The Pikachu didn’t even flinch.

It breathed in.

It breathed out.

“(Before I do this,)” The Pikachu said quietly to a suddenly apprehensive Piplup. “(I want you to understand that this is only _ten percent_ of what I’m capable of.)”

There was a brief pause.

Then, a blast of electricity exploded from the Pikachu, sending Piplup flying backwards into Dawn’s bike screaming. The bike toppled over, blackened and burned to ash, Piplup barely conscious on top of it.

“Oh my God!” Dawn cried in shock and anger. “You fried my bike!”

“… _And my Pokémon!_ ” She screamed.

Piplup whimpered.

She turned to the Pikachu, frustrated and angry. “You know what? No! I’m not letting this day be a waste! I’m capturing you, no matter what!”

“(Oh, okay, sure.)” The Pikachu held its arms out, taunting her. “(Come on. Let’s see how this goes.)”

This time, Dawn was ready. With a Pokéball in her hand, expanded and ready, she threw it towards the electric mouse. The capsule bounced off the Pokémon’s forehead and rose into the air.

It fell to the ground and did absolutely nothing.

“…Wait, what?” Dawn asked, confused.

“(Oh, wow, man, who- who could’ve figured, huh?)” The Pikachu folded its stubby little arms, a mocking inflection in its voice. “(Who would’ve thought that would happen?)”

“…Wait a minute…” Dawn muttered, eyes narrowing in thought. “If the Pokéball didn’t capture it… then that can only mean…

“…That asshole Rowan gave me broken Pokéballs!” Dawn cried in anger. “Either that, or that Pikachu already belongs to someone. Both of those seem equally likely.”

“(Well kid, thanks for attacking me and everything, but I need to go.)” The Pikachu got down on all fours. “(Ash is probably looking for me, and we have a League challenge to do, so…)”

“Hey, little guy.” Dawn kneeled down to try and get on eye level with the yellow mouse. “Are you lost? Did you get separated from your trainer?”

“(…Oh God, you can’t understand me.)” Pikachu groaned in dread. “(I forgot how hard this when Ash isn’t around.)”

“Did you get hurt? Did you get attacked by a wild Pokémon? You look pretty injured.”

“(Your Pokémon isn’t looking too good either, lady.)” Pikachu pointed out. “(Think he could use a Potion or two.)”

Piplup squeaked something weakly.

“Did another Pokémon do this to you? Did you run away? Did you run away from your trainer? Did your trainer do this to you?” Dawn clenched her fist. “Did you run away from your abusive trainer?!”

“(You are jumping to a _lot_ of conclusions here, lady.)” Pikachu said anxiously.

“You _are?_ ” Dawn cried, reading his tone incorrectly.

“( _No,_ no, no!)” Pikachu said forcefully, shaking his head. “(Get that idea out of your head, ‘cause it’s wrong.)”

“Well, whatever the case, we should head back to the Pokémon Centre.” Dawn stood up. “Your trainer will probably head back there to wait for you.”

“(…I mean, that’s relying way too much on Ash to do something sensible, but whatever.)” Pikachu shrugged. “(I need some potions, anyway.)”

“That’s it! No need to worry!” Dawn said excitedly. “We’ll just hop on my trusty bike and- Oh.”

“(Take me to a _fucking_ Pokémon Centre!)” Piplup choked.

* * *

“Man, I can’t believe those guys are _still_ following you around.” Brock shook his head in disbelief as he and Ash walked down Route 202, Aipom travelling further ahead in the treetops.

“ _I know,_ right?” Ash exclaimed. “Like, how many times do you have to literally get blown up and thrown a thousand feet before deciding to follow a different career choice?”

“I’m more amazed that they aren’t in prison.” Brock replied. “Bank robbers less subtle than them have ended up behind bars.”

“I just wish they’d leave me alone.” Ash grumbled.

“I know. What’s the game plan now?”

“Heading back to Sandgem Town. I’ll ask Professor Oak to send me Noctowl or Swellow.” Ash replied. “We’re not going to find Pikachu by wandering around blindly in the-”

“(Ow!)”

Ash looked up. Above in the trees, Aipom seemed to have angered one of the local bird Pokémon.

“(Oh, you wanna come at me, while I’m in the comfort of my own territory?)” The Starly said angrily. “(Fine! Let’s go! Come at me, monkey!)”

Effortlessly, Aipom dodged every single one of the Starly’s attacks. “(Boss! This bird thinks he’s attacking me!)” She called over her shoulder.

“Well, get him to stop, we can’t waste too much time.” Ash responded.

“Ash, wait. If you catch that Pokémon, then we won’t to waste any time at all.” Brock pointed out.

“Hmm… well, I did promise Professor Oak to keep captures to a minimum.” Ash frowned, then grinned. “Buuuut, it _is_ an urgent situation, and one Pokémon won’t hurt! Alright, Aipom, Swift, twenty-five percent power, let’s go!”

“(I mean, I’m not as good at holding back as Pikachu is, but alright Boss!)” Aipom replied. Her tail glowed a bright white as she swung it forward, a number of star-shaped rays flying forth.

The second one of the rays collided with the Starly, it flew backwards and hit the ground, completely unconscious.

“…Do you have a revive on you?” Ash asked guiltily.

“Ash, when I’m with you, all I stock up on are medical supplies.” Brock sighed.

Holding Starly steady, Ash crushed one of the golden prisms over the Pokémon’s head. He blinked awake, shaking his head. “(Wuh… where am I? Did I win?)”

“Hey Starly.” Ash said gently. “Sorry about that. I guess we underestimated our strength.”

“(Or overestimated his.)” Aipom muttered.

“(Man.)” Starly sat up, a defeated expression on his face. “(You guys are way too strong for me.)”

“Yeah, we’re… we’re pretty strong.” Ash admitted. “But I reckon you’re pretty strong too, you know?”

“(Nah, I’m pretty weak.)” Starly muttered. “(I’m just a bird. Haven’t even evolved yet.)”

“I’ll tell you what – we’re looking for a friend of ours, a Pikachu.” Ash said, smiling down at the Starling Pokémon. “If you help us find him, I promise to make you strong, okay?”

Starly’s eyes lit up. “(For real?)”

“Trust me, I’ll make you stronger than you ever thought you could be.”

“(He ain’t lying.)” Aipom nodded. “(I was weak as shit before I met Ash.)”

“(Alright! I’ll do it!)” Starly jumped up. “(I’m ready! Let’s do it!)”

“Alright, hold on though.” Ash held out a Pokéball. “Pokéball?”

“(Don’t even have to ask! Let’s go!)” Starly swatted the little button on the capsule device. The ball opened up, sucking the Starly inside as a mass of red energy. It didn’t even shake once before the ball chimed to indicate a successful capture.

“…Have I mentioned how weird it is that you can talk to Pokémon?” Brock asked.

“Numerous times since the day we first met.” Ash replied, getting up. He frowned uncertainly. “Huh…”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just sucks that Pikachu wasn’t here to see our first catch in Sinnoh.” Ash shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Starly! I choose you!”

He threw the Pokéball up into the air, where it popped open. A mass of white energy flowed out, coalescing back into the form of their new friend.

“(…Holy crap, those things are comfy.)” Starly remarked.

“Alright, we’re looking for a yellow mouse, brown stripes on his back, and a thunderbolt tail.” Ash described to Starly. “You think you can find him?”

“(Easy!)” Starly replied confidently, taking off into the air. “(They don’t call my ability Keen Eye for nothing!)”

“That oughta cut down our search time! Let’s go!” Ash said, taking off after Starly.

“Okay, but why are we running, we don’t have- okay, I guess we’re just running then.” Brock shook his head as he took after his impulsive friend.

* * *

“(Yo.)”

The Elekid pointed down below, where the forest ended and the plains began. Two people, a young boy with a hat and a young man with a jacket, were running out of the forest in a south-west direction.

The Elekid’s trainer stood beside him, looking down at them from the hill he was upon. He wore a blue jacket and held a steely expression underneath his dark, mop haircut. He frowned, pulling out a pair of collapsible binoculars and peering through them.

“…Huh.” The boy said, his tone one of mild interest. “He’s actually here.”

He put the binoculars back in his satchel. “Maybe this detour wasn’t a waste of time after all.”


	3. Adversary Jamboree

At the highest level of Team Rocket Headquarters, a very tall and conspicuous metal building in the mountains between Kanto and Johto, there was a large office occupied by one of the most feared crime lords in both of the neighbouring regions. He was sitting behind his desk, gently stroking a Persian lying on his lap. His eyes were closed as he enjoyed the all-too brief fifteen-minute moment of reprieve he had between telling his lackeys what to do, settling business contracts, holding pre-scheduled meetings with people he didn’t care for, and ordering the murders of people who knew too much for their own good.

“Mr Giovanni, sir?”

He sighed, already knowing that his break was going to end prematurely. He opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow at his secretary, a young woman with dark, straight hair that went down to her neck. Her name was Mary or something, he didn’t remember, nor did he care to. He gave her a nod to let her know to continue.

She nodded back. “You’ve received a call from a pair of agents in Sinnoh, both of them having the direct communications clearance. Agents Jessie and James, I believe they were called.”

Giovanni’s eyes widened. “Oh God, tell me you didn’t patch them throu-”

A screen in front of him suddenly lit up, three dreadfully familiar faces upon it that sung in chorus, “ _Hey boss!_ ”

“Oh, _God dammit!_ ”

His secretary backed out of the office.

“Good tidings, boss!” James greeted. “We have arrived in Sinnoh, in pursuit of the twerp known as Ash Ketchum!”

“Soon, the twerp’s Pikachu will be in our grasp!” Jessie declared. “And once we have it, we shall spread Team Rocket’s name all over Sinnoh!”

“This region will soon be tremblin’ in fear of Team Rocket, we assure ya!” Meowth grinned.

“…Really?” Giovanni deadpanned. “That’s still your game plan? To capture some kid’s electric rat?”

“…It’s a very powerful electric rat.” Jessie said in what she probably hoped was an assuring voice.

“I’m not disagreeing with that.” Giovanni replied shrugging. “I’m just saying that this Pikachu better be able to call on the wrath of Zapdos, the way you three have been carrying on about it.”

“Oh, absolutely!” James said confidently. “That Pikachu-!”

“Because,” Giovanni interrupted him forcefully. “If it _does_ turn out that the three of you have dedicated all your allocated resources to chasing around a common forest mouse for the past five years, and _failed_ … it might demonstrate to me that the three of you are incompetent buffoons who have only survived this long based on the legacies of your families. Both within the organisation,” He directed his glare onto Jessie, who looked frozen, then onto James, who wilted underneath the look. “And outside of it.”

“…Um…” James replied uncertainly.

“Not to mention,” Giovanni continued. “That this would also indicate that all the reports you have filed to me since ‘96 are, in fact, _incorrect_ , and should all read something along the lines of ‘tried to catch Pikachu and failed’. Which would then, in turn, lead to the implication that you have been _lying_ to me about your expertise, a transgression that I typically repay by feeding the guilty party to a pack of starved Houndoom.” He narrowed his eyes at the trio, his face cold and menacing. “So this Pikachu _must_ be powerful, right?”

There was a very pregnant pause, the three Rocketeers looking between one another anxiously.

“Y-yes! Of course, boss!” Jessie broke the silence, laughing nervously. “That Pikachu is something else, much more than its appearance would suggest!”

“Exactly!” James added with fearful enthusiasm. “And we weren’t _just_ going to capture a Pikachu for you, that would just be silly!”

“Yeah! We were plannin’ on capturin’ a lot of Sinnoh Pokémon for ya!” Meowth said with a forced grin. “Like, uh… the Sinnoh starter Pokémon!”

“I should hope so.” Giovanni said bluntly. “The next time I hear from you, it will be to find that you’ve made _actual_ progress. Giovanni out.” He pressed the disconnect button on the monitor, and the screen switched off.

He leaned back and sighed. He scratched his Persian’s head, the Classy Cat Pokémon purring in contentment.

“…And those three are my most loyal agents.” Giovanni muttered in resignation. “I don’t know what’s happened to my organisation.”

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 3: Adversary Jamboree**

* * *

Having left the smouldering remains of her bike behind, Dawn had set off back toward Sandgem Town with Piplup in her arms and the stray Pikachu leading in front. Dawn had attempted to pick him up, but the electric mouse had taken an immediate issue with it and was decided to be best by both of them to just let him do his own thing.

“Well, it took me an hour or two to get to this point by bike, so it ought to take about three to get back to Sandgem.” Dawn said to herself, sighing in disappointment. “I can’t believe I couldn’t catch a single Pokémon… maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”

Pikachu turned his head, looking at Piplup. “(First day?)” He asked.

“(Technically, it’s her second.)” Piplup replied, looking none too proud of her.

“I also can’t believe that I ran through all the potions I bought just to deal with _today_.” Dawn frowned, talking more to herself than she was to her Pokémon. “I’ve only got one left. We should be careful, we don’t want to get into any trouble before we-”

Before she could finish her sentence, a trio of Pokémon burst out from the forest, causing both Dawn and Piplup to yelp in surprise. One of them was a large black snake with long black fangs, yellow patterns across its body, and a wide, blade-like tail. Another was a purple moth-thing with green, patterned wings. The other was a rotund cactus with a smile-shaped pattern of holes on its face and a crown on its head. All three glared at the trainer and the Pokémon with grins of assured victory.

“(Why did you have to say something?)” Pikachu groaned.

“Well, well, well.” A confident feminine voice spoke up from the woods. “What do we have here?”

From the foliage stepped out three figures: A woman with implausibly long red hair, a low-cut top and a miniskirt; A man with a mop haircut of dark blue, a rose in his hand; and a cream-coloured cat Pokémon that Dawn believed was called a Meowth, standing on its hind legs with its paws on its hips.

“Pikachu!” The woman said, smirking. “There you are! We were looking everywhere for you.”

“(Can’t have been looking that hard, if it took you an hour to find me.)” Pikachu muttered.

“We’d thought we’d lost our investment. Such a relief that isn’t the case.” The man added coollyalso smirking. “Now, come with us. Quietly if you’d please.”

“(Yeah! And if you don’t, we’re gonna use force!)” The Cacnea added eagerly.

“(And I’m sure you don’t want it to come to that.)” The Seviper hissed, grinning menacingly.

“(I love what you’ve done with your fur!)” The Dustox declared brightly.

“(…Uh… sure.)” The Seviper replied uncertainly.

“…Okay, nope, I’m completely lost.” Dawn spoke up. “Do you know this Pikachu?”

“Indeed.” The man confirmed, smiling coolly. “In fact, this Pikachu actually belongs to us.”

Dawn looked down at Pikachu, currently in a battle stance with sparks flying from his cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m gonna call bullshit on that.” Dawn replied suspiciously. “Because that Pikachu does not look happy to see you.”

“Hey, we just said that Pikachu _belonged_ to us.” The woman shrugged. “We never said we were his trainers.”

“…Wait…” Dawn narrowed her eyes. “Are you saying that you two are Pokémon poachers?!”

“Please, we’re Pokémon _thieves_.” The woman replied irritably. “’Poacher’ makes it sound so unromantic.”

“Who the hell even are you assholes?” Dawn demanded angrily.

The two of them, plus the Meowth, closed their eyes and smiled, as if they had been waiting for her to say just that.

“Listen, is that a voice I hear?” The woman asked, turning to the side.

“It speaks to me, loud and clear.” The man replied, also turned around.

“…What?” Dawn asked, nonplussed.

The woman leapt backwards. “On the wind!”

The man leapt back with her. “Past the stars!”

The Meowth leapt upward. “In yer ear!”

“…Um…” Dawn murmured confusedly.

“Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!” The woman declared.

“Dashing hope, putting fear in its place!” The man proclaimed.

“A rose by any other name is just as sweet.” The woman said confidently.

“When everything’s worse, our work is complete.” The man said coolly.

The woman spun around to face them, thrusting her knee into the air. “Jessie!”

The man spun around as well, throwing his rose behind him. “And James!”

“Meowth!” The Meowth folded its arms and grinned at the group. “Now _that’s_ a name!”

“Putting the do-gooders in their place!” Jessie asserted arrogantly.

“We’re Team Rocket!” James cried.

“ _In your face!_ ” The three of them shouted, pointing dramatically at the group.

A Wobbuffet popped out of nowhere. “(Wobbuffet!)”

A Mime Jr. popped out behind it. “(Wobbuffet!)”

For a while, nobody said anything. Dawn stared at the trio blankly, the only sound being the chirping of Starly and the only movement being the breeze through the trees.

“…Did that Meowth just talk?” Dawn asked dazedly.

“(It’s not the weirdest thing about them, trust me.)” Pikachu said flatly.

“I can do a lot more than just talk, twerp!” Meowth declared. “I’m the brains behind this little trio of ours!”

“ _You’re_ the brains?” Jessie said incredulously.

“Look, I’m just sayin’ that without me, you two wouldn’t even have the hot air balloon.”

“This Pikachu is ours, twerpette, and if you try to interfere, then you can be certain that you’ll regret it!” James said dramatically.

“(Bring it on, douchenozzles.)” Pikachu grinned. “(We both know how this’ll end without your toys.)”

“(Don’t be so sure, rat!)” Seviper hissed. “(There’s three of us, and that trainer’s nowhere _near_ as powerful as we are!)”

“(Today’s the day of Team Rocket victory!)” Cacnea cried.

“(That trainer’s hair is so pretty!)” Dustox cheered.

“Seriously, what is this?” Dawn asked, still confused. “Is this like, some kind of prank video, or a performance? Are you escaped mental patients? _Why can that Meowth talk?_ ”

“Seviper, Poison Tail on Pikachu, now!” Jessie ordered.

“Cacnea, aid with Needle Arm!” James commanded.

The two Pokémon rushed forward, the snake Pokémon swinging its blade-like tail and the cactus Pokémon swinging its stubby little cactus arm. Immediately, Pikachu jumped into the air, dodging both attacks effortlessly. He tensed up, electricity dancing from his cheeks. “( _Thunder…!_ )”

“Pin Missile, Cacnea!”

“( _…blaa!_ )” Pikachu was forced to twist in midair, just dodging the barrage of needles. The sparks on his cheeks died.

“Dustox, Psybeam! Seviper, Poison Tail again!”

A beam of psychic energy crashed against Pikachu’s stomach. “(Ow!)”

Then, the Seviper leapt up and slashed at Pikachu with its tail, sending him crashing to the ground. “( _Owww!_ )”

Once again, Dawn and Piplup came to the understanding that the smartest thing to do would be to run. Once again, they ignored it.

“Piplup, we have to help him!” Dawn cried.

“(Y-Yeah!)” Piplup said with less confidence that he was willing to admit. “(I-I can take them! I’m awesome!)”

Dawn frowned. _These guys look strong. Piplup and I probably can’t take them head on._ She thought to herself. _But if we distract at least one of them…_

Her plan vaguely thought out, she gave the order. “Piplup, use Bubble on the snake and the moth!”

The bubbles flew towards the two Pokémon, which did not go unnoticed by Jessie. “Both of you! Counter that!”

The two Pokémon in question turned to see the weak little bubbles heading towards them. Dustox simply moved out of the way while the Seviper simply slashed through the bubbles with a snarl.

“(Bitch, please.)” Seviper hissed.

“Try and attack us while our backs are turned, will you?” Jessie said coldly. “Seviper, attack that penguin thing at once!”

“You wanna maybe focus on the _real_ fight?!” Meowth demanded angrily.

“Please, Cacnea can handle it.” Jessie said dismissively.

“He can?!” James cried, alarmed.

The Seviper darted forward and swung its tail toward the proud little Pokémon. Dawn was vaguely aware that Piplup wouldn’t be able to dodge in time, and cried in alarm. “Piplup! Use Endure!”

Piplup held its fins out in front of it, bracing himself. The Seviper’s tail crashed into Piplup, sending him crashing into a nearby tree. A crack sounded through the road as the tree splintered from the impact, Piplup slowly sliding down and landing at the base of the tree.

“(… _Ow._ )” He squeaked.

“(Stupid little penguin.)” The Seviper mocked. “(You really think you can take on the might of Team Rocket?)”

With a cry of terror, the Cacnea crashed into the ground behind the Seviper, the dust clearing to show the cactus Pokémon was completely unconscious.

“(…Oh.)” Seviper said.

“Cacnea, no!” James cried.

“Don’t just stand there, send out his replacement!” Jessie snapped.

“Carnivine’s in a state of starvation! I’m not putting him on a battlefield!”

With a cry, a bolt of lightning exploded from Pikachu and crashed into the Dustox. It shrieked and hit the ground, barely able to move. Pikachu landed between Seviper and Piplup, a cocky grin on the mouse’s snout.

“(…You know, when I called you a rat earlier-)” Seviper began.

“( _Volt Tackle!_ )” Pikachu shouted, rushing forward as a flash of lightning surrounded his body. He slammed into Seviper, pushing the snake into the barely moving Dustox and Cacnea. He kept running, pushing back and back towards an alarmed Team Rocket. Stuttering in fear as he approached, far too quickly for them to get out of the way in time, all they could do was scream as the Pikachu crashed into them, creating a massive explosion that sent the thieves flying into the air and far away.

The smoke cleared, Pikachu gasping for breath and chuckling. “(…Yeah! Alright!)” He turned to Dawn, saying confidently. “(Don’t worry, kid. You’re safe now.)”

“ _Oh my God!_ ” Dawn cried, her hand clapped over her mouth and her pupils shrunk with horror. “Did you just kill those people?!”

“(…Oh shit.)” Pikachu said in dreadful realisation. “(No, lady, don’t worry, they’re fine.)”

“Oh my God.” Dawn collapsed to her knees, tears already streaming down her face. “Wh-why would you do that? How could you _do_ that?!”

“(Seriously, that’s happened to them more times than I can count, they’ll be okay.)”

“I-I mean, I know they were trying to k-kidnap you but… I just…” She whimpered, hugging herself.

“(Uh…)” Pikachu winced, unsure of how to turn this situation around.

“…I-I… it was…” Dawn muttered, desperately trying to rationalise the situation to herself. “S-self-defence, right? Yeah, we… we didn’t have a choice, a-and… and they were probably r-really evil or… something. Yeah. That’s it… uh…” She stood up, her voice and body shaking. “H-hey, Piplup! I’m just… going to heal you up, and then… we’ll go right back on the road again! Everything’s going to be fine! No need to worry!”

Pikachu watched uncomfortably as Dawn made her way to Piplup, barely holding her charade of optimism. “(…Why do I feel like this is setting a trend of some kind?)” He muttered to himself.

* * *

A couple of minutes ago, a flash of lightning had exploded high into the air, the sound of crackling electricity sounding through the ears of all within a mile-wide radius. The sight of such a phenomenon, while not uncommon in the world of Pokémon, was usually enough to give one pause for thought before approaching.

Ash Ketchum, meanwhile, decided to run straight towards the source, with nary a thought spared for his own safety.

“(Slow down, boss!)” Aipom cried, swinging through the trees on pursuit.

“Ash, wait up!” Brock shouted, trying to catch up to his impatient friend. “We don’t even know what that was!”

“It was Pikachu!” Ash shouted back, not slowing down for an instant. “I’m sure of it!”

“Starly hasn’t even come back yet! We don’t know that’s Pikachu!”

“I know Pikachu’s Thunderbolt anywhere!” Ash replied assertively. “Trust me, that’s-!”

He skidded to a stop.

In the middle of the road was a boy about his age in a dark blue jacket and a purple-grey haircut, his back turned to Ash. In front of him, a fierce battle between what looked to be a yellow walking electrical plug and three large Sinnoh bird Pokémon. They were attacking it over and over, though the electric-type seemed to be dodging and countering the attacks with ease.

“…Okay, maybe I don’t know Pikachu’s attacks as well as I thought.” Ash admitted.

Brock showed up, catching his breath. “Yeah, it’s hard to pin down the appearance of random streaks of light.” He grumbled.

“Uh… hey!” Ash called out to the trainer as he approached, wondering if the guy had seen Pikachu or Team Rocket.

The trainer turned, a look of blunt coldness on his face. “Ah, Ash Ketchum.” He said as Ash approached.

There was something wrong about this trainer. Ash didn’t know whether it was the slight note of arrogant contempt in his voice, the face that made him look like he was angry about something, the fierce look in his eyes, or the fact that he knew Ash’s name. Whatever it was, it made Ash stop in his tracks about ten feet away from the boy.

“Uh… hi… you?” Ash said uncertainly. “It’s, uh… it’s been a while, uh…” He frowned in concentration. “I want to say… Shingo?”

The trainer slowly raised one of his eyebrows. “We’ve never met.”

“Oh, thank God.” Ash sighed in relief.

“And I suppose that makes you Brock Takeshi, the ex-Pewter City Gym Leader?” The trainer turned to Brock, approaching behind Ash.

“It would.” Brock replied, his expression neutral. “And you are?”

“Paul.” The trainer replied bluntly. “I’ve been following your progress with interest, Ash Ketchum.”

“(Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.)” Aipom muttered, landing on Ash’s shoulder.

“I’ve seen your stats on the Inter-League Trainer Database, and I have to say – I’m impressed.” Paul continued, his tone of vague contempt unchanging. “I was actually on my way to meet with you, before these Staravia showed up.”

Ash scratched his head in embarrassment. “Aw, nah, I’m nothing special.” He replied, trying to be modest.

“Hold that thought.” Paul turned back to the battle behind him. “Elekid! Now!”

As one of the Staravia dove towards it, the Elekid leapt up and shoved the bird into the ground. As the creature crashed into the ground, Paul quickly threw a black-and-yellow Pokéball towards it. It got sucked up into the ball in a mass of red energy.

Paul turned back around to Ash, not even watching the Pokéball seal itself. “Are you serious?” He asked.

Ash blinked. “Huh?”

“You showed up in the ’97 Indigo Plateau Conference, placing in the top sixteen – a fairly average start so far.” Paul said, glaring at him. “Literally a _year and a half later_ , in the Silver Conference, you shoot up to the top _four_. Another year later, you get to the top _two_ in the Ever Grande Conference. You’ve-” He stopped, the turned back to the battle at hand. “Elekid! Brick Break, half power!”

The Elekid swung its fist into another one of the Staravia. It hit the ground in pain, and another Ultra Ball whirled through the air.

Paul turned back to Ash. “You have travelled across three different regions and earned _twenty-four_ gym badges, when most trainers only ever earn eight. You’ve captured seven regional Starters in the wild, your Charizard is the stuff of an ace trainer’s nightmares, and rumour has it that you can talk to Pokémon.” He raised his brow at Ash again. “None of that is impressive to you?”

“…Technically, it’s twenty-eight, if the Orange Islands count.” Ash replied awkwardly.

“They don’t.” Paul replied bluntly, turning back to the action. “Elekid, finish it!”

The Elekid leapt up and knocked the last bird Pokémon into the ground. The final Ultra Ball hit it, sucked it up, and hit the ground. It rocked a mere two times before sealing.

“I have to say Paul, you’re not too bad yourself.” Brock spoke up as Paul picked up the Pokéballs. “The way your Elekid handled itself, I can tell it’s been raised well.”

“(Yo.)” The Elekid said, looking up at the group.

“She still needs work.” Paul replied dismissively over his shoulder, holding up the Pokéballs and scanning them with a dark blue Pokédex.

“…She handled those Staravia well enough.”

“Oh wow, what an extraordinary task.” Paul said sarcastically. “Taking down a few weak Flying types she had an easy advantage over. Speaking of which…” He put the Pokédex back and put one of the Ultra Balls back in his pocket. He held the other two out and said, “Release!”

The two Pokéballs popped open, the two Staravia materialising in a swirl of light blue energy, signifying release.

“I don’t need you two.” The trainer said cruelly. “Get out of here.”

“(Wh-whuh?)” One of the Staravia said tearfully. “(But I thought we were gonna go on an adventure across the region and be friends, man, I just wanted to be friends.)”

“Now!”

The two Staravia turned tail and flew into the sky, one of them doing so sadly.

“…Okay, what the shit was that?!” Ash demanded.

“What?” Paul turned to him. “One knew Aerial Ace, the other two knew Quick Attack. It’s no contest.”

“And that’s reason enough to tell them to get lost?” Ash asked angrily.

“… _Yes_.” Paul replied, as if the answer was obvious. “If a Pokémon isn’t useful to me, then why would I waste my time raising it?”

Ash narrowed his eyes. “Oh, I do not like you.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” Paul said coldly. “Nevertheless, I’m going to have to insist that we have a battle, three-on-three. I want to see what a trainer like you is made of.”

“I would love to. Beating jerks like you is a rare treat.” Ash replied. “Uh… I can’t, though. One of my Pokémon was kidnapped, and I’m trying to find him first.”

“…And you let that happen?” Paul deadpanned.

“…It’s a unique situation.”

Paul sighed with what sounded like annoyance. “Fine.” He turned around and started to leave. “I’ll be waiting at the Pokémon centre when you stop being so pathetic.”

“I- Pathetic?!” Ash spluttered in fury as the unpleasant trainer left.

“Calm down.” Brock said, putting a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. “There’s no reason to start a fight.”

“There’s plenty of reason!”

Before Ash could try and push his case further, he heard the fluttering of wings and a cry of, “(Hey! New boss!)”

He looked up, seeing his Starly returning to him. “Starly!” He said, immediately forgetting about Paul as the goal of finding Pikachu re-entered his mind. “Have you found Pikachu?”

“(Oh, yeah.)” Starly nodded. “(Along with something that you’re not gonna believe.)”

* * *

With an impressive response time of about two hours, Team Rocket had returned – in a massive, forty-foot tall orange robot, with six segmented arms, a capsule-like cockpit, a red ‘R’ emblazoned upon the front, and the victorious cackling of the three individuals within it.

“ _What the fuck?!_ ” Dawn gasped in fear, shock and disbelief.

“ _Behold!_ ” Meowth’s voice echoed down to her from the cockpit. “ _Team Rocket’s latest creation: The Super Sinnoh Slinger Mark 1A!_ ”

“ _This machine is the greatest invention to come out of us to date!_ ” Jessie’s voice crowed. “ _With this, Pikachu will soon be in our-!”_

“I give up.” Dawn said immediately.

There was a brief pause from the thieves. The robot leaned forward a bit and Jessie’s voice returned, sounding confused. “ _I’m… sorry?_ ”

“I-I give up.” Dawn mumbled, paralysed with fear. “Y-you… you guys have a giant robot… I don’t have a giant robot, I… where… where did you even get that? W-where do you even get one of those? I don’t… I don’t know what to do, and a-also, y-you guys flew like, three-hundred feet into the air last time, and… and I don’t know h-how you survived that… and I’m just… really freaked out right now.”

In the cockpit, the three Rocketeers looked at each other.

“ _…Is this a joke?_ ” James’s voice asked.

“W-what?” Dawn asked through tears.

“ _Is this a joke?_ ” James repeated. “ _Or some kind of trick?_ ”

“ _Yeah, like, are you lowering our guard down before sending in yer next Pokémon?_ ” Meowth asked. “ _Or, maybe that Piplup’s gonna evolve at the last minute?_ ”

“No, Piplup’s my only Pokémon.” Dawn replied faintly. “And I just got him yesterday, he’s… he’s no match for you.”

“( _Banzai!_ )” Piplup cried, dashing forth bravely. With a simple movement, the robot knocked the tiny penguin aside and into a tree, where he fell over and hit the ground unconscious.

“See, that was Piplup trying his best!” Dawn cried. “And he got kicked to shit!”

“ _…Are you absolutely sure you just want to give up?_ ” Jessie asked.

“Y- _yes_!” Dawn said insistently. “Why are you guys finding it so difficult to accept that you’ve won?!”

“ _We’re just not used to winning, is all._ ” James told her.

“ _This easily._ ” He quickly added. “ _We’re not used to winning this easily._ ”

“ _Well, I ain’t one to look a gift Ponyta in the mouth!_ ” Meowth said happily. “ _C’mere, Pikachu!_ ”

“(Oh crap, _oh crap!_ )” Pikachu cried as one of the arms shot forth and grabbed him. Blast after blast of electricity exploded from his cheeks in defence. “(Thunderbolt! _Thunderbolt!_ )”

“ _Please, we learned to defend ourselves against that little trick a very long time ago!_ ” Jessie said evilly. “ _Shock us as much as you like! Hahaha!_ ”

Pikachu grunted and struggled in vain against the grip, Dawn looking on helplessly from below. He growled. “(Alright, fine. You’ve caught me. What happens now?)”

“ _Eh, give us a minute. We’re still not used to this._ ” Meowth replied.

A minute was not to be given, however, because it was at that point that a small purple monkey with a weird hand for a tail burst from the foliage and struck the robot in the arm. The mech stumbled back, and then almost tipped over with panicked yells from its occupants as a hole was dug out from underneath its legs, a large boulder-like Pokémon with four arms popping out.

“Wha…?” Dawn stared toward where the monkey had come from.

Emerging from the forest were two figures. One was a young man with black spiky hair and a green-brown outfit, looking like he was in his early twenties. Another was a boy in a blue jacket and a cap, who looked to be around the same age as her. Both of them had fierce looks on their faces.

“Oh, thank _God!_ ” Dawn cried on relief.

“(Ash!)” Pikachu cried in joy.

“ _Twerps!_ ” Team Rocket cried in horror.

“Miss, are you alright?” The older boy said, approaching her quickly. “I’m Brock, this is Ash, we’re here to help!”

“I’m having the second worst day of my _life_!” Dawn sobbed.

“Really? These guys are usually harmless.”

Ash stood in front of the mech, the purple monkey landing in front of him. “Team Rocket.” He said dramatically.

The capsule opened. Rising up on a platform were the three Rocketeers.

“Listen, is that a voice I hear?” Jessie inquired.

“It’s speaking to me, loud and clear!” James responded.

“Floating on the wind!”

“Past the stars!”

“In yer ear!” Meowth cried.

“…Are they really doing this again?” Dawn asked in disbelief as they recited the same motto as last time.

“They do it every time, just wait a bit.” Brock replied dismissively.

Dawn blinked, then said excitedly. “Wait, they’re out of the robot! You can attack them now!”

“What?” Ash replied, almost as if he was offended. “No!”

“…Why not?”

“Because that would be rude.”

Dawn stared at the young boy.

“ _What?!_ ” She shrieked.

“Putting the do-gooders in their place!” Jessie declared, spinning around.

“Team Rocket…” James mused.

Then all three of them pointed forward and cried, “ _In your face!_ ”

“…Meh.” Ash shrugged.

“ _Meh?!_ ” James cried indignantly. “We spent hours working on that motto, and all you can say is _meh?!_ ”

“I spent my entire day looking for Pikachu because of you guys!” Ash shouted at them. “I’m in a ‘meh’ sort of mood!”

“Hmph!” James folded his arms and glared down at them. “I see that the tall twerp’s here now, as well.”

“My name’s Brock.” Brock said with the bluntness of stone. “You _know_ my name is Brock.”

“Yes, but twerp fits you better.” Jessie replied sweetly.

“I’m not wasting any more of my day to you guys!” Ash snapped. “Aipom, Swift!”

A swarm of star-shaped rays flew from the Aipom’s tail, striking against the mecha as Team Rocket retreated back into the capsule. The robot got moving again, with one of its many arms flying toward the Aipom and the other toward the rock Pokémon. The monkey was quick to react, jumping out of the way in time, while the rock Pokémon wasn’t as lucky, flying backward as the arm struck it.

“Graveller, are you alright?” Brock cried. When the Pokémon nodded affirmative, he turned to the younger boy. “Ash, this mecha looks stronger than the others they’ve made. We need to come with a-”

“ _I’m gonna climb up there and rescue Pikachu!_ ” Ash yelled, running towards the giant robot.

“Okay, that is a _bad idea_ , and if you just give me a minute _-!_ ”

With a shout, Ash leapt on one of the robot’s arms as it came swinging towards him. He grabbed onto it and started climbing up towards his electric mouse, in an act that was either the bravest thing Dawn had seen in her life, or the most insane. Either way, it was an act that did not go unnoticed by Team Rocket.

“ _What do you think you’re doing, twerp?_ ” The voice of Jessie demanded from the cockpit.

“ _He won’t be doing anything in a little bit!”_ James said confidently. One of the arms came swinging towards Ash as he climbed up, its ‘fingers’ clenched in a punch.

“(Ash!)” Pikachu cried again, this time in fear.

Before the arm could strike, another hole erupted from beneath the mecha’s legs as the Graveller emerged, and the massive robot tipped over. Momentum kept the arm moving, however, and the blow pierced the armour of the mecha instead.

“ _…Ohhh, nooooo._ ” The thieves groaned simultaneously.

The machine started to spark and shake violently. The arm holding Pikachu loosened its grip, and the mouse fell towards the ground with a squeaky scream. Ash cried in alarm, leaping from the arm and catching his Pokémon in his arms just as a light emitted from a crack in the machine.

Several things happened simultaneously. First, the mecha exploded, sending Team Rocket flying off into sky with a trio of screams. Second, Ash started falling to what would very likely be his death, Pikachu in his grasp. Third, Brock threw a Pokéball forward, popping open and releasing a large, legless purple bat with four wings. Fourth, Piplup started to come to.

With an order from Brock, the bat flapped its wings and created a mighty gust of wind underneath Ash, slowing his descent as he fell to the ground. The impact was still worthy of injury, but they were alive.

“Pikachu…” Ash groaned as he got up. “You alright buddy?”

“(Yeah, dude, I’m fine.)” Pikachu replied happily. “(I didn’t doubt you for a second.)”

“ _Ash!_ ” Brock said hysterically as he ran up. “Are you insane?! Do you know that if I hadn’t been here, both of you would be dead right now?!”

“Yeah, Crobat was awesome, wasn’t she?” Ash replied.

“…That’s… not the point…” Brock said helplessly as Crobat grinned at the praise.

“Man, that must have been the longest they’ve had you for, buddy.” Ash said as he got up.

“(Those three? Nah, they only just got hold of me. That girl over there helped me fend them off.)”

Ash blinked and turned towards Dawn. He smiled friendlily, waved and said, “Hey! Did you help protect my Pikachu?”

Dawn said nothing, unable to do anything more complex than stare vacantly at her two saviours.

Piplup waddled up to her clutching his stomach. He looked between her and the two young men, and he asked, “(What did I miss?)”

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when the three trainers arrived in the Sandgem Pokémon Centre. They had handed over their Pokémon to be healed, Brock had used the available amenities to make some tea, and soon Dawn was in a state where she could talk again. They had sat next to the window, Dawn on one side of table, Ash and Brock on the other.

“So, I’m Dawn… I’m from Twinleaf Town, just a couple of miles from here.” Dawn said, a cup of Saffron Evening cupped in her hands. “Uh… Ash and Brock, right?” She asked.

“Yup!” Ash nodded. “We just arrived here from Kanto.”

“The super-poor eastern region wracked with corruption and organised crime?”

“That’s the one!” Ash said proudly. “I came all the way from Pallet Town to compete here in the Sinnoh League!”

“I’m from Pewter City.” Brock said. “I used to be the Gym Leader there, but I stepped down to pursue my dream of becoming a Pokémon breeder.”

There was a pause.

Dawn snickered.

“I know how it sounds, ignore it.” Brock sighed.

Dawn smiled at both of them. “Thanks for helping me back there… I don’t know what would’ve happened if it hadn’t been for you.”

“Eh, Team Rocket would’ve found _some_ way to screw it up.” Ash said dismissively. “Trust me, they’re only intimidating the first time you meet them.”

“…You guys are acting as if you’re used to this. Is this kind of stuff… normal?” Dawn asked hesitantly.

Ash and Brock looked at each other.

“I mean, for us, yeah.” Ash replied.

“Man…” Dawn looked down into her cup. “I… really don’t know if I’m cut out for this kind of life.”

“First day?” Brock asked.

“Technically, it’s my second.”

“It’s always tough when you’re starting out.” Brock said gently. “It’s important not to give up too quickly.”

“Yeah, trust me. I _sucked_ as a trainer when I started out.” Ash laughed. “Brock straightened me out in time. You just need some guidance, I think. You thinking of taking on the League challenge?”

Dawn shook her head. “No. Contests.”

“Oh, neat! I had a friend who was interested in contests!” Ash said brightly. “I reckon you’ll be great!”

“Great?”

“Yeah! You’ll win all the ribbons and participate in… whatever the big Contest thing is, and I reckon you could win it! You just need time, is all!”

Dawn blushed. “…You really think so?”

“Dawn, if someone like me can get to where I am today, then you can easily become the best Coordinator in Sinnoh.”

There was a soft ‘ding-ding, ding-ding-ding’ that came from the front desk, signifying that their Pokémon had been healed. The three trainers got up and made their way towards their Pokémon.

“Here you are!” Nurse Joy said brightly, handing them a tray with a smiling Pikachu and three Pokéballs. “Your Pokémon have been fully healed!”

“Oh, Nurse Joy!” Brock said nobly, placing a hand on his chest. “It isn’t just the Pokémon you’ve-!”

The glint of a gold ring on the nurse’s left hand.

“…Healed…” Brock trailed off. “…It’s also… the Pokémon… yeah.” He looked away in defeat.

There was a bit of silence as everyone stared at him, Ash in exasperation.

“…Okay…” Joy said uncertainly. “Well… anyway, have a nice day!”

“Wait, don’t we have to pay anything?” Dawn asked, confused.

“Oh no, our healing services are all subsidised by the League.” Joy explained cheerfully. “No matter how injured your Pokémon are, you can bring them to any Pokémon centre for free healing.”

“What about lodging?” Ash asked.

“Well, that’s six-thousand P.”

“Cool, cheaper than Hoenn!” Ash said enthusiastically.

They took back their Pokéballs, Pikachu jumping up on Ash’s shoulder. “Hey, buddy.” Ash scratched the mouse under his chin. “You feeling all better?”

“(Like I never got kidnapped and blown up in the first place!)” Pikachu replied.

Dawn rubbed her arm anxiously, asking, “Uh, so… where are you two heading now?”

“Well, I’ll probably stay here for the night. Tomorrow, I’ll head for the nearest Pokémon Gym.” He took off his backpack and pulled out a map. “I should probably check out where that is, actually…”

“You’re reading a map?” Brock asked in genuine surprise.

“…As best I can.” Ash replied, frowning on concentration. “Alright, the nearest…”

“Oreburgh.”

The three trainers looked up toward where the voice had come from. “Huh?” Ash asked.

“Oreburgh City, in the Coal Valley.” Paul replied, leaning against a pillar and giving the three of them a cold glare. “That’s where the nearest Pokémon gym is.”

“Ah. Paul, right?” Ash smiled confidently. “I was wondering when you were going to show up.”

Paul’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve literally been standing here for the past two hours.”

“Either way, I reckon I’m ready for that battle now. Unless you’d rather wait until tomorrow?”

“And waste more time than I already have? No, we’re doing this _now_.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I _just_ healed your Pokémon!” Nurse Joy protested, to no avail.

“Ready to go, Pikachu?” Ash asked his buddy.

“(Dude, I don’t even _need_ to know the context.)” Pikachu grinned. “(Let’s wreck this guy’s shit!)”

“…What’s going on?” Dawn asked, confused.

“This guy challenged Ash to a battle while we were searching for Pikachu.” Brock explained as the two trainers went outside. “They couldn’t battle then, though, so they’re battling now.”

“…Can I watch?”

* * *

The battlefield outside the Pokémon Centre was bare, owing to a lack of use in recent years. Paul and Ash stood on opposite ends of the field, Pikachu sitting by Ash’s side. Brock stood on the sideline, while Dawn had taken a seat on one of the nearby park benches, Piplup by her side.

“Alright Piplup, this is a real Pokémon trainer battle!” Dawn said excitedly. “Contest battles are slightly different, but the principles _should_ be the same, so let’s pay attention!”

“(Hey, so long as that mouse is the one getting kicked to shit, I’m fine.)” Piplup replied.

“So… how are we going to do this?” Ash asked.

“Standard with three-count, three-on-three.” Paul responded automatically.

“Wager?”

“No wager.”

“Single?”

“Single.”

“Got it.” Ash nodded.

“…And I’m already lost.” Dawn sighed.

“I’ll let you go first, Paul.” Ash said.

“Suit yourself.” Paul pulled out an Ultra ball from his belt, expanding it and throwing it onto the battlefield. “Staravia! Standby for battle!”

The Pokéball popped open and released the large bird. “(Alright, let’s go!)” Staravia muttered in false enthusiasm.

“Using your new catch, huh? Then I’ll repay the favour!” Ash threw a Pokéball onto the field like it was a baseball. “Starly! I choose you!”

The smaller bird popped out onto the battlefield. “(Yeah, let’s…)” Starly looked up at his larger, evolved opponent and visibly shrunk. “(…oh.)”

Paul’s expression of contempt was lowered slightly to make way for confusion. “…So, do you not understand why that was a bad idea?”

“Paul, I may not look or sound like it, but I know what I’m doing!” Ash replied. “You ready Starly?”

“(…uh…)” Starly replied hesitantly.

The Staravia laughed. “(Go on, tell him you can fight me! Tell him!)”

“Don’t worry, just listen to me and you’ll be fine.” Ash told him.

“(…Alright…)” Starly said, unconvinced.

“Alright, battle begin!” Brock declared, swinging his hand downward.

“Staravia, Aerial Ace!” Paul ordered immediately. The Staravia flew up, then dove towards the terrified smaller Pokémon.

“Starly, use Quick Attack and fly straight up!” Ash declared.

With a panicked squawk, Starly flew straight up, Staravia following close behind. The two birds flew upward, Staravia chasing the smaller bird from behind. Further and further upward they flew, Staravia getting closer and closer with each second. As the larger bird closed the gap, he struggled as he attempted to keep its momentum going, close enough to Starly to almost grab at his tail feathers.

“(…Ah, dammit!)” Staravia cried as he lost control, forced to dive back down.

“Alright, now Starly, use Quick Attack!” Ash shouted. Starly quickly darted back down, striking Staravia in the stomach.

“…Tch.” Paul grunted in annoyance.

“Now dive down!” Ash shouted.

“Follow it with Aerial Ace!”

Starly dove down, righting himself to fly just above the battlefield. Recovering from the sudden blow, Staravia dove after it.

“I hope you realise that thousand-year-old trick isn’t going to work with me.” Paul taunted.

“Not without a little help, it won’t!” Ash replied with a grin. “Starly, use Quick Attack on Staravia’s back!”

“(Ahhhh, alright!)” Starly replied in a panic as Staravia closed in, quickly swinging upward in a loop.

“Dodge it!” Paul shouted.

“(Wait, what-?)” Staravia blinked as Starly slammed down into Staravia’s back, driving the larger bird into the dirt of the battlefield. He ploughed through the dirt before coming to a stop in the middle of the battlefield.

“One…” Brock counted as Staravia struggled to get up. “Two… and three!” He raised his hand. “Staravia is unable to battle! The victory goes to Ash!”

“Yeah!” Ash pumped his fist into the air. “Great work, Starly!”

“(…I did it.)” Starly murmured before breaking out into victorious chirps. “(I did it!)”

“…Woah.” Dawn murmured, staring at the battlefield in enraptured awe.

“Yeah. That’s Ash for you.” Brock chuckling. “He’s something else.”

Dawn stared at Ash, a blush forming across her face. “He really is…”

“(…You realise you don’t know anything about this guy, right?)” Piplup asked her, looking slightly concerned.

“So… you still think I’m pathetic, Paul?” Ash grinned as his opponent recalled his Pokémon.

Paul, however, seemed completely unfazed. “I’ll admit, you’re better at controlling the battlefield than I gave you credit for. Unfortunately, your strategy involved far too much risk-taking. There were multiple points where Staravia would’ve hit its attack if it had more time.”

“Yeah, ‘almost’. But the fact is that Staraiva _didn’t_ hit!”

“You’re telling me.” Paul muttered angrily, putting the Ultra Ball back on his belt. “What a pathetic excuse of a Staravia.”

Ash blinked, taken aback. “Uh…”

“Let’s see how you deal with a Pokémon I’ve actually had time to raise.” Paul said, throwing out a normal Pokéball. “Chimchar! Standby for battle!”

From the capsule, the white energy flowed out and formed into a red-orange monkey, a red sash tied around its forehead. “(…Hey…)” It waved nervously at the opponent team. “(Um… I’m Chimchar… prepare to lose and stuff…)”

“Use Fury Swipes!” Paul ordered.

“Counter with Tackle!” Ash countered.

“(Yeah! I’m awesome! I’m invincible!)” Starly cried as he dove towards the monkey. “(I can take on any-!)”

Chimchar swiped the starling across the face once.

Starly hit the ground unconscious. A quick three-count from Brock confirmed his inability to continue.

Ash chuckled awkwardly. “Heh… good work, Starly. Have a nice rest.” He recalled his little bird, then reached back and took out Aipom’s Pokéball. “Alright, Aipom! I choose you!”

The purple monkey popped out, landing on her hand-tail-thing. “(Alright, chump! Let’s go!)” She taunted.

“…Does every trainer have a catchphrase?” Dawn asked Brock.

“Up until now, I thought it was just Ash.” Brock replied.

“Flamethrower!” Paul ordered.

“Double Team, Aipom!” Ash cried.

A barrage of flame exploded from Chimchar’s mouth, dodged easily by Aipom as she leapt into the air and four illusory copies surrounded her, almost as if she was vibrating. With an order for Focus Punch from Ash, she drew her fist back and started to concentrate on her power.

“I remember this trick.” Paul muttered. “Dig, now!”

Chimchar burrowed into the ground. Ash frowned. “Damn… alright Aipom, keep moving to trick-!”

Before Ash could finish his command, Chimchar exploded up from the earth beneath the Long Tail Pokémon, knocking her into the air with a cry of pain.

“Aipom!” Ash cried in alarm.

“Now, Flamethrower!” Paul ordered.

“Counter with Swift!”

“(Got it!)” Aipom swung her tail around and a mass of stars flew towards the column of flame heading towards her.

The fires destroyed the stars effortlessly and immolated her.

“Aipom, no!” Ash cried as Aipom hit the ground, smouldering.

“One… two… and three! Aipom is unable to battle!” Brock declared. “The victory goes to Paul!”

“(…Sorry boss…)” Aipom said weakly.

“(Yeah! I did it!)” Chimchar cheered. Then, noticing a glare from Paul, he quickly said, “(Uh, I mean… whatever?)”

“…Alright Aipom, return.” Ash said, recalling his Pokémon.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why your Double Team strategy didn’t work against my Chimchar.” Paul told him.

“…Not real-”

“You see, the way Dig works is that the user detects vibrations in the ground to sense where its opponent is.” Paul explained. “And since the illusory copies created by Double Team don’t have weight, Chimchar knew exactly where Aipom was.” His face shifted into a disturbing smirk. “So, where’s your bravado now?”

Ash frowned, thinking. He’d originally taken Paul as some random jerkoff, and the relatively easy defeat of Staravia had reinforced that somewhat. Now, though…

“Alright Pikachu, you’re up.” He said.

“(Oh yeah, let’s dust this guy.)” Pikachu leapt onto the field in a battle stance.

“So, this is your famous Pikachu, huh?” Paul raised a brow at him. “Supposedly, your Pikachu is stronger than it should be for its species.”

“Trust me, Paul.” Ash grinned confidently. “You’ve never seen a Pikachu like mine.”

“Then I’ll let you have the next move.”

“Alright, then! Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!”

“Dig!”

Sparks danced across Pikachu’s cheeks as he let off a massive blast of electricity. The monkey quickly dove underground, avoiding the bolt of lightning.

“Quick Attack across the battlefield!” Ash shouted.

Pikachu took off, running around as fast as he could. Chimchar couldn’t keep up, exploding out of the ground behind him.

“Now, Iron Tail!”

Pikachu skidded to a stop, then leapt towards Chimchar, steel coating his tail with a flash. Before the monkey could react, the mouse had slammed the tail across Chimchar’s jaw, knocking him to the side. Chimchar got up, rubbing his jaw and growling as a deep red aura enveloped him.

“Flamethrower!” Paul shouted.

“Quick Attack!”

Chimchar reared up, flames burning in his mouth, but Pikachu darted forward with a yell, slamming into the monkey before he could react. He hit the ground, clutching his stomach. “(Owie, owie, owie…)” He muttered.

“One… two… and three! Chimchar is unable to battle!” Brock declared.

“Yeah! Way to go, Pikachu!” Ash cheered.

“(Woo! In your _face_ , jerk!)” Pikachu boasted.

Like before, Paul didn’t seem phased. He simply withdrew Chimchar, muttering to the ball as he did so, “Pathetic, as usual.”

“…You know, most trainers try to comfort their Pokémon after a loss.” Ash suggested irritably.

“I’m not most trainers. Elekid, standby for battle!” Paul threw out Elekid’s ball, and it popped open to reveal the yellow electric-plug Pokémon.

“(…Yo.)” She said after it materialised.

“You said before that your Pikachu was special.” Paul recounted. “Well, I should warn you, my Elekid is rather unique as well.”

“Let’s see how much that does for you!” Ash replied confidently. “Pikachu, Quick Attack!”

“Protect.” Paul said simply.

A light green barrier materialised around Elekid. Pikachu simply bounced off the barrier with a yelp.

“Thunderbolt!” Ash commanded. Pikachu immediately let loose a blast of electricity towards the Electric Pokémon. The lightning crackled across Elekid’s body, sparking and singing the surrounding battlefield.

Elekid didn’t flinch. She just smirked.

“…It didn’t do a thing!” Ash remarked as Pikachu growled in frustration.

“Uh, isn’t that to be expected?” Dawn asked Brock, confused.

“It’s true that Elekid would resist electric attacks…” Brock nodded, a frown on his face. “Still, Thunderbolt should have at least done _some_ damage…”

“Iron Tail!” Ash commanded. Pikachu leapt forth, a flash of steel coating his tail once more.

“Counter with Fire Punch!” Paul snapped. Flames wreathed around Elekid’s fist as she swung upwards to counter the Iron Tail. Elekid was pushed back into the dirt a bit, but with the flames dancing up Pikachu’s steelified tail and causing him to lose focus, Elekid’s strike ended up the stronger one, knocking Pikachu away and rolling across the battlefield.

“Be strong, Pikachu!” Ash said as his little buddy got up, wincing as he did so. Use Volt Tackle!”

Sparks coated Pikachu’s body as he zoomed forth in a war cry, dashing towards Elekid and colliding with her. The sheer power covering him caused his body to sting with pain, and he glared up at Elekid with gritted teeth.

She smirked. “(Weak.)”

Pikachu leapt back as Ash cried, “Wait, Volt Tackle didn’t work either?”

“(Alright, not gonna lie,)” Pikachu growled, panting in pain and exhaustion. “(I’m starting to get pissed off now.)”

“You know, I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to try the same kind of attack twice.” Paul mocked in a rather blunt manner.

“I just assumed that Elekid had good energy defence!” Ash replied. “How resistant is she?!”

“It has nothing to do with defence. It has everything to do with Elekid’s special ability – Motor Drive.”

“Motor-!” Ash suddenly had a vivid memory of a battle with Gary, just a few months earlier. “Wait, what?! I thought it had to evolve into Electivire to get that ability?!”

Paul chuckled, the mocking smirk back on his face. “Told you she was special.”

“(Okay, I know it’s rich coming from me, but that is _complete bullshit!_ )” Pikachu snarled in frustration. “(What the hell am I supposed to do now?)”

“Now!” Paul commanded. “Use Brick Break!”

“Uh, I’m still new, what does Motor Drive do?” Dawn asked.

Her question was answered when Elekid dashed across the battlefield faster than anyone could follow her, slamming her fist down onto Pikachu’s skull before Ash could get a command in.

“…Oh…” Dawn murmured in shock.

“One…” Brock started counting.

“Pikachu, get up!” Ash shouted.

“Two…”

“(No, no, no!)” Pikachu growled in anger and a little bit of panic, struggling to get back on his feet.

“…and three! Pikachu is… unable to battle!” Brock declared, hiding most of his surprise. “Which means the match goes to Paul!”

Ash blinked several times in disbelief. “No…”

“(No…)” Pikachu muttered, sitting up and wincing. “(I… I don’t lose. Not like this.)”

“(And yet, here we are.)” Elekid smirked, folding her arms with barely a scratch on her body. “(Loser.)”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too proud of yourself.” Paul said bluntly, holding out the Pokéball.

“(Whatever.)” Elekid said dismissively as she was recalled back into her Pokéball.

Brock and Dawn approached Ash as he knelt beside his partner. Dawn arrived gently and kept her distance, concern on her face.

“You alright?” Brock asked his old friend gently.

“I’ll be fine.” Ash muttered. “It’s just been a while since I’ve lost like this, is all.” He looked down at Pikachu. “You alright, buddy?”

“(…I couldn’t do anything.)” Pikachu muttered, looking down.

“Oh my God, it was just a trainer battle.” Paul sighed with contempt, the other three trainers looking up at him. “You could stand to act a little grown up about it.”

He had a point. Ash bit back the numerous offensive words he wanted to throw at this guy, and simply said, “Yeah, well… I’m not going to lose to you next time.”

“Hmph.” Paul turned away and took out an Ultra Ball. “Release!”

The ball popped open, his Staravia materialising in front of him with a blue light. “(Whu…?)”

“You’re done. Get out of here.” Paul told him coldly.

Staravia blinked a couple of times. “(What the-?)” Then, he glared at his former trainer angrily. “(Well, fuck you then! I didn’t want to take orders from you anyway!)” With that, he turned around and took off into the sky, his flight a little jerky.

“ _What the hell was that?!_ ” Ash demanded, immediately standing up with Pikachu in his arms.

“He lost.” Paul replied simply.

“In _one battle?!_ ” Ash shouted in outrage. “That’s all it takes for you?!”

“In a word? Yes.”

“I…!”

“I should thank you for having this battle with me.” Paul said, ignoring Ash’s fury. “I wanted to see what you were made out of, and you showed me. And after this battle, I have to say…”

He turned around to leave, giving Ash one last contemptuous look over his shoulder. “…I’m only _marginally_ impressed.”

The sun began to dip below the horizon, casting its hot orange glow over the defeated and angry Ash, while the shadows stretched over Paul as he walked away, cold, stoic and uncaring. All Ash could do was glare at him with Brock and Pikachu, his broken pride and righteous fury coalescing and mixing into an emotion that Ash had not felt for a very long time – the molten, burning emotion that was hate.

Dawn frowned and said, “What a douchebag.”


	4. Mandatory Companionship

**Two Weeks Ago**

_There was a little cottage about fifteen miles down Route 202, surrounded by a small wooden fence, and adorned with a little sign hanging off the front that read,_ ‘Rest Stop. Medicine, herbs and spices freely available.’

_At the back of this house was an elderly woman in a pink cardigan, watering a garden of herbs with a calm smile on her face. It was quiet, with only the soft sounds of the nearby river puncturing the silence._

_Then, there was movement from the nearby forestry. She looked up, expecting to see a Bidoof, or a Shinx, or some other type of common Pokémon. To her surprise, however, what emerged from the bushes was a small, green tortoise with a brown, earthy shell, a large lower jaw, and a tiny little twig poking from its head. It stumbled forward, looking beaten and bruised, looking somewhat unaware of its surroundings – at least until it looked up towards the old woman and froze._

_“Oh my!” The woman said with concern. “You’re not a garden Pokémon.”_

_“(And this is_ not _where I thought I was going.)” The Turtwig said quietly._

_“Well, we can’t have you going off on your own to get hurt again.” The woman knelt down with a calming smile. “Come here. I can help you.”_

_The Turtwig looked at her, unsure and wary._

_“Come on!” The woman encouraged. “I won’t bite.”_

_Still, the Turtwig was still._

_“Look, I’ve been living here alone for seven years. Can you at least stay long enough for me to patch you up?”_

_Hesitantly, the Turtwig approached her. “(Alright… just so long as I don’t get roped into anything weird.)”_

_“That’s a good little Pokémon.” The woman said kindly, gently picking up the little Grass starter. “Let’s get you fixed up with some medicine, a bit of food… hm… and maybe I’ll knit you a sweater or two.”_

_“(I’ve made a mistake.)”_

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 4: Mandatory Companionship**

* * *

“You want to come with us?” Ash asked in surprise.

They were just outside the Pokémon centre, early in the morning. Brock, Ash and Pikachu had started to leave for Route 202, only to be stopped by Dawn, rushing out with Piplup in her arms in a panic to ask (or beg, depending on your perspective) for them to let her come with.

She smiled awkwardly. “If… that’s okay with you guys?”

Brock and Ash looked at each other. Brock scratched his head. “I don’t have a problem with it, but…” “…Why do you want to come with us?”

“(Yeah, freakin’ why?!)” Piplup demanded.

“Well…” Dawn hesitated, looking away. “I’m… I’m still new to being a Pokémon trainer and you guys seem to know what you’re doing… plus, we’re all heading towards Jubilife City, ‘cause it’s on the way to Oreburgh, so I could come with you on my way to Jubilife City…”

“…And on the way, me and Brock could teach you the basics on Pokémon!” Ash finished for her.

“Yeah!” Dawn said enthusiastically.

“Alright! I’m down for that!” Ash said excitedly. “Brock?”

Brock shrugged, smiling. “Why not? The more the merrier, after all!”

“(…Seriously?)” Pikachu asked, giving Ash a look from his perch on the boy’s shoulder. “(I mean, I guess she can come with, but you do realise that makes her the _third_ Misty, right?)”

Ash responded with an uncomfortable glance. “Hey, come on, buddy, it’s not like that.”

“(Oh, sure it’s not. That’s why you we always travel with these _fake_ Misty’s rather than the _real_ Misty.)”

“Uh…” Dawn said, watching Ash roll his eyes at the Pikachu-speak. She shrugged it off and smiled brightly at the two. “Well, thank you, both of you! I’m really looking forward to learning from you guys!”

“(Bullcrap this about ‘learning’ or whatever!)” Piplup cried angrily. “(You just wanna get into this guy’s pants! We can do fine on our own!)”

“See! Even my Piplup’s excited for this!” Dawn giggled, hugging her little penguin Pokémon.

“…He seems a little unhappy to me.” Brock frowned.

“He said they can do fine on their own, so I think he just doesn’t like getting help.” Ash explained, getting on eye level with the penguin. “Don’t worry, little guy, it’s okay to accept help every now and then!” He frowned and folded his arms. “Though, I don’t really get what you said about wearing our pants. Is that a metaphor for something?”

Dawn and Piplup stared at him.

“…Did you just understand him?” Dawn asked faintly.

“Yeah.” Ash replied, as if that was normal.

“…Can- can you understand Pokémon?!”

“Yup!” Ash said brightly.

Dawn gawked at him.

“(…Okay, that is pretty impressive.)” Piplup admitted.

* * *

It usually took Team Rocket about an hour to get back on the scent of the twerps – barring, of course, the couple of hours required to patch up their wounds, the hour to get the balloon up in the air, and the thirty minutes required to figure out where they had ended up this time. They were currently approaching the second hour this time, peering around the land with their binoculars from atop their balloon. Finally, when they were beginning to wonder whether they had accidently flown the wrong way again, Meowth relieved them with the victorious cry of, “ _Twerp alert!_ ”

They moved over to his side of the basket, peering in the direction he was looking. They saw them, alright, with the usual two suspects present – along with a new one.

“It’s the twerpette from yesterday!” James said in surprise.

“Looks like they’ve decided to let the inexperienced, naïve young girl from Nowheresville follow them around a bit so she can learn about bein’ a Pokémon trainer from them.” Meowth lowered his binoculars and frowned. “Didn’t they already do that back in Hoenn?”

“And of _course,_ it’s a girl whose mother lets her dress like a prostitute. I mean, just look at the length of that skirt!” Jessie said in disgust. “Not even an inch higher, and she’d be arrested for public indecency!”

Meowth gave Jessie a cynical look. “…I’m surprised you can see so clearly with all the glare comin’ off your glass house.”

“I’m twenty-nine, she’s fifteen. There’s a difference.” Jessie replied irritably, giving the Scratch Cat a glare of her own.

“Do you think this one will go for Pokémon contests like the last one did?” James mused.

“She better not.” Jessie muttered darkly. “I prefer my competition to be non-twerpish in nature.”

“Oh God, tell me you’re not going to put on that whole ‘Jessebella’ act again, are you?” Meowth asked with dread.

“No, Jessebella is old news. I’m going to have to think of a different persona if I’m to succeed in my dream of superstardom.”

“You’re going for the contests _again?_ ” James cried in anguish. “ _Why?_ You- I mean, we lost every single time we entered in one of those things!”

“ _We get exploded by a yellow mouse every week, but we still follow the twerps around!_ ” Jesse roared, immediately causing James to shrink in alarm.

“Yeah, because we have the expectation that at the end of it, we’re gonna get paid!” Meowth argued. “What the hell do we have to gain from chase’n those glorified talent shows?!”

Jessie glared at the two of them. She placed her fist into her palm and squeezed, a deep _crack_ resounding from her knuckles.

“…Point taken.” James and Meowth is unison and reluctance.

* * *

The trio of trainers had set off on their journey, thankfully without interruption from Team Rocket. The dynamic was been established early – Dawn would eagerly ask the two boys questions about being a trainer, Ash would respond with a piece of advice, and Brock would occasionally clarify or correct Ash’s response. Dawn, for her part, was simply enraptured by the two experienced trainers and more than happy to listen to them.

The word ‘them’ in this case meaning ‘Ash’. Thankfully for most parties, she kept her questions limited to Pokémon and Pokémon training, saving the young boy from exposing his ignorance on subjects that fell outside those two realms. 

It had only been an hour on the road when Dawn spotted her next target with a squeal – a small lion cub with blue fur covering its face and forelegs. It looked up from its nap with disinterest.

“Oh – my – _gosh!_ ” She whipped out her Pokédex. “What is that? It’s _adorable!_ ”

Ash frowned and pulled out his own Pokédex – a HANDY909 model covered in scratches, dents, and other signs of far-too-frequent-use. A quick scan revealed the Pokémon’s name to him – Shinx.

“Huh. Looks kinda cool.” Ash said.

“It’s so _cute!_ ” Dawn gushed in excitement. She frowned in hesitation. “I don’t exactly have a type advantage, though…”

Piplup leapt out of her arms and got into a battle stance. “(Screw type, I can take him!)”

“…With all respect Piplup, your… enthusiasm hasn’t exactly worked in our favour so far.” Dawn said doubtfully.

“Aw, come on, you can do it!” Ash told her. “You have to give it your all if you want to succeed!”

“You think so?” Dawn asked brightly. “Well, if you think I can do it, then we’ll give it a shot!”

Piplup turned and glared at her. “(…What, so I say I can do it, and you think I’m being overconfident, but this _random kid_ that you only met _yesterday-_ )”

“Piplup, use Bubble!” Dawn commanded.

“(Ugh, whatever!)” Piplup turned back to the Shinx and let loose a stream of bubbles. “(Eat bubbles!)”

The Shinx leapt out of the way in panic, the bubbles impacting against the ground harmlessly. “(Ah, what the hell?!)” It growled, launching forth and tackling into the penguin.

“Piplup!” Dawn cried.

“(I’m okay!)” Piplup shook his head and focused.

“Alright, use Pound!”

Piplup leapt forward and smacked the Shinx across the face. It yelped and jumped back, before growling and launching again with another tackle attack.

 _I’m doing it!_ Dawn thought to herself in glee. _I’m finally being a Pokémon Trainer! I’m going to catch a Pokémon, and I’m going to be a coordinator! I’m so excited! This is so exciting!_

Dawn ordered another Bubble attack.

Shinx retaliated with another Tackle.

Piplup responded with Bubble.

Shinx attacked with Tackle.

Piplup used Bubble.

Shinx used Tackle.

“(…You know, I forgot how boring battles could get outside competitive matches.)” Pikachu commented.

“Alright Dawn, now’s the time for a Pokéball!” Ash called.

Dawn could barely keep herself together. With a grin, she took a Pokéball from her hand and threw it with a cry of, “Go, Pokéball!”

“You have to enlarge it first.” Ash added as the capsule sailed through the air.

The miniaturised capsule bumped off the Shinx’s face, and it froze in alarm, then blinked in confusion.

“(Oh… _Oh!_ )” It cried. “(That was way too close, I’m out of here!)”

“Ah! No, no, wait!” Dawn panicked, taking another Pokéball, quickly enlarging it, and throwing it in a desperate attempt to regain a handle on the situation.

“What-?” Ash blinked as the Pokéball flew towards him and hit him directly in the face.

“(Woah!)” Pikachu leapt from Ash’s shoulder as the young trainer fell to the ground.

“ _Shit!_ ” Dawn cried in alarm, immediately forgetting about the Shinx as it ran away.

“(No, wait! Come back!)” Piplup cried as the Shinx fled. “(Come on, get back here, we can still finish this!)”

Brock looked over the situation with some amount of bemusement. He looked down at Ash and asked, “You, uh… you alright there?”

“Yeah, just… wasn’t ready for that.” Ash replied, rubbing his forehead. “How’d you even do that?”

“I’m so sorry!” Dawn said desperately, tears already brimming in her eyes. “I just, I- I panicked, and I didn’t want it to get away, and-!”

“Seriously, how did you do that?” Ash asked incredulously. “You weren’t even facing me when you threw that!”

“And then I screwed it up, like I always do, and I don’t get why it has to be so hard, and I just want to have a Pokémon team-!”

“Hey, woah, wait.” Ash said quickly, suddenly noticing how close Dawn was to breaking down. “It’s okay, I was just-”

Dawn collapsed to her knees and wailed, “ _Why do I have to suck so much?! It’s not fair!_ ”

“(Are we actually doing this again?)” Piplup asked in disbelief.

Ash stared at Dawn as she sobbed, the jarring disconnect between the intelligent, enthusiastic Dawn and this juvenile, attention-seeking Dawn throwing him off. He stood up and looked between Brock and Pikachu, neither of whom seemed to understand what was happening either.

“Uh…” Ash scratched his head awkwardly. “What, uh…?”

“I’m… not sure. Difficult start, maybe?” Brock suggested. He moved up towards the inconsolable girl. “I’ll talk to her, hang on.”

“…She must’ve really wanted to catch that Shinx.” Ash concluded helplessly.

“(Yeah, that’s probably it.)” Pikachu said sarcastically.

Brock knelt down beside Dawn, putting on his most comforting ‘mother hen’ face. “Hey, Dawn, it’s okay.” He said gently. “Nobody catches a Pokémon successfully on the first try.”

“Y-Yeah, but I- I sucked at _everything_ , a-and…!” Dawn choked out.

“That’s not true!” Brock insisted. “In fact, up until the end, you were doing really well! Especially for one of your first battles!”

Dawn sniffed. “You- you really think so?”

“Of course! I think, with just a little more-”

“Okay!” Dawn said brightly, her tears stopping instantly.

“…What?”

“Well, you think that I was doing well, and I only made a small mistake.” Dawn explained happily, standing up and brushing grass off her leggings. “I shouldn’t get so fixated on it, and I should just move on!”

“…Y-yeah…” Brock said uncertainly. “That’s, uh… that’s right!”

“Right! No need to worry!” Dawn cheered, before smiling sheepishly. “Also, uh, sorry, I do that sometimes. Let’s go!” She pointed forward and began marching back down the road, a skip in her step once more.

The rest of the gang stared after her as she walked off. They looked at each other, nonplussed. Then they looked at Piplup, as if the little penguin would be able to warrant an explanation.

Piplup gave them a shrug that said, ‘I’ve got no fucking idea, don’t look at me’, before waddling off after his trainer.

* * *

There was no mention of, nor elaboration on, the attempt to catch the Shinx after the group had left. Dawn had gone right back to asking Ash questions about being a trainer, his answers slightly nervous now. After seeing her break into tears over what had been little more than a simple mistake, neither he nor Brock were willing to test what other seemingly innocuous things would turn her into a wailing mess.

They passed by the battlefield where they had fought Team Rocket, the smouldering wreckage of the machine surrounded by a fair number of local police officers. Give each other all a guilty look, they left the scene quickly.

It was at around midday when they decided to take a break for lunch, noticing a small wooden cottage up ahead. As they got closer, they saw a sign hanging off the front advertising medicine and herbs. An old lady with a pink cardigan sat out the front in a wooden chair, a small tortoise Pokémon in a brown knitted vest beside her. A quick Pokédex scan revealed it as a ‘Turtwig’.

“Uh, excuse me?” Brock called out to the old woman.

“Hm, these travellers look more ethnic than usual.” The woman murmured.

“Sorry?”

“I said, come a little closer! My hearing isn’t what it used to be!”

They did so.

“My name is Clara.” The woman said kindly. “How can I help you?”

“We’re travelling trainers. Brock, Ash, Dawn.” Brock said, pointing to each of them in turn. “We’re just taking a break nearby, and I noticed you have some cooking herbs for sale?”

“Oh, I have lots of things in my herb garden.” Clara replied. “Coriander, basil, energy root, Oddish, spinach...”

Dawn blinked. “Oddish?”

“All the essentials.” Clara finished. “You can take as much as you like, too!”

“(Except the Tiny Tot Chow.)” Turtwig spoke up. “(That stuff’s mine.)”

“That sounds great, thank you!” Brock said politely. “Would it be okay if we set up nearby?”

“Of course. There’s a lovely spot next to the river beside the garden.” Clara pointed to a spot behind her house.

“Thank you, miss. We won’t impose too long.”

The three trainers wandered off toward the river. Once they were out of earshot, Turtwig looked up toward Clara with confusion. “(What did you mean by ethnic?)”

* * *

The group set up the table and cooking station, which is to say that Ash and Brock set up shop while Dawn watched them. As Brock cooked up lunch, Ash immediately got into his favourite method of relaxation – training. Dawn watched as he ordered Starly to face off against Aipom, enraptured by the way he took charge of the battle. She watched in fascination as he directed Starly to dive, dodge, twist and turn, telling him how to stay stable in the air and how to impact against a foe without interrupting his flight… if she had a notebook on her, she would’ve been taking notes.

Piplup just watched Dawn with concern.

“Alright, lunch is ready!” Brock called out. He reached around and pulled out four standard Pokéballs. “Which means that it’s time for you guys to come out!”

The Pokéballs opened up, releasing their occupants as Dawn and Piplup approached the table. One mass of light formed into Crobat, the other into Graveler, the other into a happy little stone pot-plant, and the last into a 30-foot long giant metal snake that crashed into the ground directly next to Dawn, causing both her and her Pokémon to shriek in fright and fall to the ground.

“(Hell yeah! Monday curry!)” Steelix roared. He looked down at the two terrified newcomers, then to Aipom as she wandered over to the table. “(Who’s this chick?)”

“(Uh…)” Aipom shrugged. “(Misty number three.)”

“(Sweet.)” Steelix turned and powered his way towards Brock. “(I’m first in line! Outta the way!)”

Dawn and Piplup stared after the Iron Snake Pokémon as it quickly asserted itself amongst the other Pokémon. Ash came up alongside her and offered his hand, Pikachu on his shoulder. “Yeah, Steelix can be pretty intimidating when you meet him first.”

Dawn looked blankly at his extended hand for a moment before tentatively reaching out and grasping it. “Y-Yeah.” She murmured as Ash pulled her up.

“Don’t worry, there aren’t many Pokémon that as large as him.” Ash said. “Most Pokémon aren’t much larger than six-foot.”

Dawn watched him walk towards the table, Piplup in her arms. A blush spread across her cheeks and she said softly, “We touched hands…”

“(For like, a _second._ )” Piplup said with disdain.

Within a few minutes, everyone had a meal in front of them and was happily talking amongst themselves. A few of Brock’s Pokémon started chatting with Pikachu and Aipom, catching up on what they had missed in the first day in Sinnoh.

Bonsly blinked. “(Huh? You _lost_ against that jerk?)”

“(Yeah.)” Pikachu grumbled, morosely chewing on his curry. “(Screwed me over with that Elekid’s bullsh- uh… stupid ability.)”

Graveler frowned, confused. “(But I thought you beat Brandon’s Regice back in Hoenn?)”

“(Y-Yeah, I did, but-)”

“(So how come you lost to that Elekid?)” Bonsly asked.

“(She- She just caught me off-guard, that’s-)”

“(Yeah, because you beat Regice single-handedly, didn’t you?)” Graveler added.

“(I- It- It was different, okay!?)” Pikachu snapped, the snickering of Aipom from behind him doing nothing to ease the flush of humiliation creeping up his cheeks. “(I just-!)”

Steelix’s gravelly voice spoke up, lying nearby with a bowl of curry in front of him. “(Sounds to me like Regice was a fluke.)”

“(I- _No!_ )” Pikachu spluttered furiously. “(It wasn’t! If anything, that Elekid was a fluke! And why are you even eating curry? Don’t you eat rocks?)”

“(…I can eat both.)” The snake muttered defensively.

“(…Hey.)”

The Pokémon turned towards the newcomer. Piplup stood up as straight as he could, suddenly aware that he was likely the smallest Pokémon in the small group.

“(Oh, hey.)” Pikachu nodded. “(Piplup, right?)”

“(Hi!)” Bonsly perked up. “(I’m Bonsly!)”

“(Graveler.)” Graveler said.

“(Uh, hi.)” Piplup replied. He turned to Pikachu. “(Can we, uh, talk for a minute? Alone?)”

Pikachu raised an eyebrow. “(…Why?)”

“(Uh… I…)” Piplup hesitated before re-asserting himself. “(Look, can you just come with me for a moment?)”

Pikachu frowned, then shrugged. “(Whatever.)”

Piplup took the electric mouse away from the main group, but not too far away that they were out of sight. “(So, what’s this about?)” Pikachu asked. “(Because if it’s about me zapping you the other day… I can tell you I’ll win the rematch as well.)”

“(No- well, I was gonna ask about that.)” Piplup admitted. “(But that’s not what I wanna talk about. You know that my trainer has a thing for your trainer, right?)”

Pikachu blinked. “(Uh… no, actually.)” He said, surprised. He turned around to look toward the humans. “(I was thinking up revenge scenarios the whole way here.)”

He peered at Dawn for a moment, looking at the way she acted, the way that her eyes seemed be focused solely on his trainer.

“(…Why does she have a crush on _Ash?_ )” Pikachu asked confusedly.

“(Dude, I don’t even _know_.)” Piplup said exasperatedly. “(But she does, and I’m here to tell _you_ to tell your _trainer_ to stay away from her.)”

“(…You know, you could tell him this yourself. He _does_ understand you, after all.)”

This had not occurred to Piplup, who was still new to whole ‘freak of nature who can talk to Pokémon’ thing. “(Uh…)”

“(What do you even care, anyway?)” Pikachu asked. “(You’ve only known her for like, two days.)”

“(Three! I’ve known for _three_ days!)” Piplup snapped angrily. “(And I was in Professor Rowan’s lab for a lot longer! Trainers would come in, scan us, and then pick the tortoise or that stupid monkey, and they’d always leave me behind! But Dawn? Dawn is the only trainer who’s recognised the awesomeness that is _me!_ She’s special! So if your trainer takes advantage of her crush in any way…)”

Piplup narrowed his eyes. “(Then you and your trainer have to answer to _me._ )”

“(Uh… huh.)” Pikachu replied, unimpressed. “(Listen kid, it’s noble what you’re trying to do here and all, but you really aren’t at a level where you can intimidate me.)”

“(That Elekid was!)” Piplup challenged, baiting him.

“(And _you_ are pretty far from being that Elekid.)” Pikachu responded, ignoring the bait. “(Besides, you’re worrying over nothing. There’s like, a less than zero-percent chance of Ash trying to pull any shit like that.)”

“(What makes you so sure?)” Piplup demanded.

Pikachu gave him a deadpan look. “(Ash still doesn’t know where babies come from.)”

Piplup stared at him.

“(Yeah.)”

* * *

“Man, this stuff is incredible!” Dawn proclaimed, swallowing another mouthful of curry. “You’ve got to tell me the recipe for it!”

“Told ya! Brock’s a natural cook!” Ash said, grinning happily. “He could put a five-star café out of business!”

“Oh come, I’m not that good.” Brock said modestly. “…Although I have been approached by restaurant managers before.”

A small, yellow blur leapt up from the ground and onto Ash’s shoulder. “(So, what’d I miss?)”

“Nothing much.” Ash replied, apparently oblivious to the fact that nobody else spoke Pokémon. “What were you and Piplup talking about?”

“(Oh, nothing that’s going to be a lasting issue.)” Pikachu replied, giving Dawn a brief look. “(New guy nerves, stuff like that.)”

“Fair enough. New journey and everything.” Ash nodded.

“…So, uh…” Dawn spoke up awkwardly. “This whole, ‘talking to Pokémon’ thing…”

“Hm?”

“How does that work?”

“Oh.” Brock blinked. “We did kinda gloss over that, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, like, is that something anyone can do? Or…?”

“No, it’s unique to Ash.” Brock chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s something that I’ve kinda always been able to do.” Ash explained. “It’s one of the things that helped me become who I am today.”

“Wow…” Dawn murmured. “And you can understand all Pokémon?”

“Yeah, but ‘understand’ isn’t really the right word. It’s more that I can… feel what they mean when they say things?”

Dawn looked at him blankly.

“Okay, it’s just that I have to be there _with_ the Pokémon to understand them.” Ash clarified. “If I just heard them on a recording or on a video phone, then I wouldn’t understand it any better than you guys. But if I’m physically there, even if I can’t see them, then I can sort of… feel what they mean when they say things.”

“Incredible...” Dawn stared at the young boy dreamily. “You’re really something special, Ash.”

“Nah, I’m just your normal trainer.” Ash waved the compliment aside. “Sure, I can talk to Pokémon, and sure, I’ve got more badges than most people have, and sure, I’ve become a super-talented trainer after only five years, but apart from that, I’m just like everyone else.” Ash sighed. “I mean, I don’t like to pretend that my skill makes me better than everyone else, or that my Pokémon make me better than everyone else, ‘cause I’m not. I’ve met too many people who think that they’re the best, that nobody can compete with them, just because their Pokémon are strong. And nobody likes them for who they are, they just like them because they’re powerful, or well known. That’s not what I want for me. I just wanna be treated like everyone else, you know?”

“ _You left on your journey when you were ten?!_ ” Dawn shrieked.

* * *

As the trainers talked and conversed amongst themselves, a periscope was peering at them, observing the whole scene. Connected to it, lurking deep below the surface, was a large submarine fashioned in the shape of a Magikarp, within which were three well-known thieves, sitting atop what could only be described as a three-man peddle-bike built into the submarine floor.

“Ah, ha!” Jessie crowed victoriously from the front. “The twerps have arrived here for a break, just as I said they would!”

“I said that.” Meowth said bluntly from the middle.

“Semantics.” Jessie replied dismissively.

James stuck his head out from the back, concerned. “Uh, small question, Meowth-”

“Only thing is, what to do now?” Jessie pondered. “Should we attack now, catch them by surprise, or wait for a better opportunity further down the road?”

“I say we wait, but only for a little bit.” Meowth suggested. “Remember the old lady in the cottage we spied earlier? Pretty sure that she had one of ‘dem Sinnoh Grass-type starter Pokémon with her!”

James spoke up again. “Chums, I really think-”

“ _And_ , the new twerpette also has the region’s Water-type starter!” Jessie added, an evil grin on her face. “So, if we wait a little longer for the Golden Girl to show up with that starter, then not only will we pocket Pikachu, we’ll also have _two_ starters!”

“Took the words right outta my mouth!” Meowth grinned back.

“Well, we did promise the boss that we’d catch him a starter Pokémon or two.” Jessie chuckled. “It’s settled! Our first Team Rocket victory shall be staged here!”

“…Okay, yes, let’s do that.” James added his voice once more. “But before we do, I feel like we should address something first.”

Meowth turned to him. “What’s that?”

“Meowth, how did you build an _exact replica_ of our Magikarp submarine and put it in this river over the course of _two hours?!_ ”

“Because I’m a genius, that’s how.” Meowth replied dismissively. “Now get those capture pods ready.”

* * *

“Well, that smells quite nice.”

The trainers turned to see Clara approaching them with a calm and serene smile, Turtwig trotting beside her. “Ah, Clara, right?” Brock said friendlily. “You were right, this spot is great!”

“Yes, it is quite lovely.” Clara agreed. “I used to go on walks along here with my husband before he died painfully of cancer.”

The trainers stared at her.

“…Well, that’s awkward thing to bring up out of nowhere, but we’re sorry for your loss.” Ash said.

“Oh, it’s quite alright. After all, Turtwig here has been keeping me company.” She looked down at the Tiny Leaf Pokémon beside her. “Isn’t that right, Turtwig?”

“(She keeps knitting vests for me, she won’t let me leave.)” Turtwig whispered desperately.

“So, how long have you owned that Turtwig?” Dawn asked, Piplup sitting in her lap.

“Oh, I don’t own him at all. He’s still a wild Pokémon.”

Dawn’s eyes widened. “He’s wild?!”

“Is that a big deal?” Ash asked.

“Yeah! Turtwig’s one of the Sinnoh starter Pokémon, so it’s super rare outside registered breeding centres!”

“Huh. Go figure.” Ash looked down at the little tortoise. “I’m not sure if he likes being in that vest, though.”

“Oh, no, he likes it when I knit things for him.” Clara said dismissively, before admitting, “…Although I suppose nine different sweaters might be a bit excessive.”

“(It’s not even winter anymore.)” Turtwig muttered. “(The only reason I’m tolerating it is because the food’s good.)”

“It’s not very often that people travel Route 202.” Clara said curiously. “What brings youngsters like you down this road?”

“Oh, I’m heading to Jubilife City to participate in the Pokémon Contest there!” Dawn said brightly. “I plan to become Sinnoh Top Coordinator!”

“I’m travelling with Ash, because he’d probably be dead without me.” Brock said bluntly.

“And you?” Clara asked Ash.

“Hm?” Ash looked up from a conversation with Turtwig. “Oh, uh, I’m heading to Oreburgh City to have a gym battle.”

“Ah, aiming for the League, then?” Clara asked kindly.

“Yep!” Ash grinned. “Once I win the Sinnoh League, I’ll be one step closer to becoming a Pokémon Master!”

“Well, that’s certainly some ambition you’ve got there.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Dawn chuckled, before smiling awkwardly. “Also, uh… total newbie question, but… what’s a Pokémon Master?”

“It’s… uh…” Ash blinked as he realised that he did not, in fact, have any idea what a Pokémon Master was, and that it was actually a meaningless term that he had been throwing around that everyone had kind of just ran along with. “Um… it’s… well, it’s a… uh…”

Before he could explain, three capsules shot out from the lake and caught Turtwig, Piplup, and Pikachu, snatching them away from their trainers to the panicked yells of most parties.

“Oh thank God.” Ash muttered. “I mean, _oh dear God!_ ”

“What the hell _is_ that?!” Clara demanded, staring directly at the giant steel Magikarp from which the arms had shot out of.

The top of the Magikarp opened up.

“Listen, is that a tired old voice I hear?” Said Jessie, rising up from the metal fish.

“It crows to me, loud and clear.” Said James, elevated up beside her.

Dawn watched as the three thieves recited their motto once more, looking back and forth between them, and the duo of Ash and Brock. “Uh…” She began. “Are you gonna attack them, or…?”

“No, no, just let them finish.” Brock told her.

“They- they’re stealing my Pokémon.” She said in disbelief. “They’re stealing _your_ Pokémon!”

“Putting the do-gooders in their place!” Jessie delivered.

“We’re Team Rocket!” James cried.

“ _In your face!_ ” The three pointed forward dramatically.

There was a small period of silence.

“Team who?” Clara asked.

“(What’s going on?! Who are these people?!)” Turtwig panicked, looking around his capsule in terror.

“(Urg.)” Pikachu rolled his eyes, leaning against his capsule while Piplup tried again and again to Pound his way out of it. “(It’s just these three clowns that try to kidnap me with giant robots every week.)”

“( _What?!_ )”

“Give us back our Pokémon!” Ash yelled at them.

“Oh, what a convincing argument!” Jessie mocked. “Good to know that your diplomatic ability hasn’t changed, twerp!”

“I’m afraid that your Pokémon are Team Rocket’s Pokémon now.” James said coolly. “We need them to further the goals of our illustrious organisation!”

“…Which are?” Dawn asked.

The three thieves looked at each other.

“To be completely honest, that part was always kind of vague.” James admitted.

“All you need to know is that we need your Pokémon more than we do.” Meowth said with a grin. “So we’ll be heading off now with ‘em! Adios!”

The thieves disappeared back into their submarine. The piscine vehicle turned around and began to make off down the river, their ill-gotten gains yelling and attacking their capsules in protest.

“No, you don’t!” Ash declared, running for the river. Without hesitating for a moment, he leapt into the water and started swimming towards the submarine. The waterborne vehicle with the three-person man-powered engine and propulsion system designed specifically for effective underwater movement, however, proved to be faster than him, and Ash was forced to swim back to shore after only a few measly strokes.

“…Good effort?” Dawn said hesitantly.

“Oh, relax.” Clara said dismissively, prompting the three trainers to look toward her. “They’re heading toward the shallow end of the river, anyway. They’ll end up beaching themselves.”

“And we need to be there when that happens!” Ash declared as he pulled himself out of the river, sopping wet. “Come on! Let’s go!”

* * *

Indeed, after only a couple of minutes running (Clara opting to stay behind), the trainers found the thieves stranded, their Magikarp submarine sticking out of the water at a 45-degree angle. They were pushing against the sub, waist-deep in water, with their captive prizes glaring down at them, trying to move it to no avail.

“Alright, I don’t say this often, but I’m gonna take the blame on this one.” Meowth gasped as he pushed against the steel submergible. “I did not look at that map very hard.”

“(You know, if you let us out, we could probably help you push it.)” Pikachu offered sarcastically.

“Bite me.” The Scratch Cat snarled.

From behind them, two purple creatures flew forth, surprising the trio of thieves as they smashed apart the capsules containing the captured Pokémon. Piplup fell into the water and immediately started swimming to safety, while Pikachu and Turtwig were picked up by Aipom and Crobat, whisking them away from their captors. Said captors turned around, confirming their worst fears: twerps.

“Over here!” Ash called for his friend from the side of the river with his companions, still soaked to the skin.

“No, you don’t!” Jessie snarled, throwing forth a Pokéball. “Dustox! Psybeam!”

With a flash of energy and a cry of, “( _Your shell is beautiful! What polish do you use?_ )”, Dustox burst forth and fired a blast of psychic energy, striking Crobat in the back. While the attack wasn’t enough to down the bat, it was certainly enough to make her drop the tiny turtle back into the river.

“Dammit! Pikachu, Aipom, protect Turtwig!” Ash ordered as both Pokémon stood their ground on the shallowest part of the river they could find. “Pikachu, hold off on your electricity. With all this water and your power level, you could kill them.”

“(…I feel that if they’ve survived 100-foot drops, they can survive some electrified water.)” Pikachu countered.

“Pikachu…”

“(And even if they can’t, their Pokémon would be fine.)”

“Pikachu!”

“(Urgh, fine!)” Pikachu snapped, leaning down the ground and grumbling, “(Thunderbolt’s my best move, but whatever.)”

“Dustox, prioritise the monkey and the bat!” Jessie ordered. She turned to James, looking pointedly at him. “Seviper landed badly after the last blast-off, so I’m down a Pokémon. You’re going to have to use both of yours to pin down Pikachu!”

James frowned at her. “What about Wobbuffet?”

“What _about_ Wobbuffet?”

“After what happened last time, I’m not too keen on putting the punching bag on the battlefield either.” Meowth muttered.

“Alright, I suppose I have no choice!” James cried, throwing two Pokéballs forth. “Cacnea, Carnivine! Come forth!”

Cacnea burst from his Pokéball, a look that approximated determination on its cactus-y face. “(Alright James! I’m gonna make you proud, I’m-!)”

Carnivine zoomed past his teammate with an insane cackle, immediately going for Pikachu. The mouse yelped as the flytrap tried to close its jaws around him, holding the creature’s jaws open with all four of his limbs. The few Pokémon that were around froze up, mostly in shock.

“Carnivine! Don’t eat the merchandise!” James cried in dismay.

“( _Heehaahahahaha!_ )” The crazed plant-monster laughed as it tried to close its jaws around the electric mouse. “(I’m gonna eat you! I’m gonna rip you up limb from limb and feast on your delicate _chest-meat! Hahahahah!_ )”

“( _What the actual fuck?!_ )” Pikachu screamed in terror. “(Where’d you guys find _this_ lunatic?!)”

“(…In a box?)” Cacnea said hesitantly.

“Pikachu! Use Iron Tail to shake it off!” Ash cried.

He was trying. Unfortunately, Carnivine seemed to have more strength in his jaw ‘muscles’ than Pikachu had in his leg muscles, and the little mouse couldn’t give for a minute. The Bug Catcher Pokémon cackled as it started close its jaws around him.

Before the horrific could happen, however, a tiny little tortoise slammed into the crazed flytrap, knocking the plant aside and freeing the mouse. Before Carnivine could recover, Pikachu leapt back and swung an Iron Tail attack directly into its face. It smashed into the insane plant, instantly knocking it out and sending it flying back to its owners, floating face-up in the water.

“…Okay, so first impressions aren’t optimal, I know…” James said, grinning weakly.

“ _He tried to eat the Pokémon we’re kidnappin’!_ ” Meowth shouted.

“…Maybe he just needs to be fed before battle.”

Team Rocket’s situation then proceeded to go downhill further, as Dustox fell back into Jessie’s arms unconscious, Crobat glaring down at the thieves. In desperation, Cacnea fired off a round of Pin Missiles, only to be countered completely by Aipom’s Swift, and then knocked back into James by Pikachu’s Quick Attack.

“Great job, guys!” Ash said. “Now, let’s finish it! Aipom, use Swift!”

“Crobat! Use Air Slash!” Brock commanded.

“(I’m gonna use Bubble! I’m useful!)” Shouted Piplup, who had been watching the battle from the sidelines until now.

“(And I’ll use Razor Leaf!)” Turtwig cried, rearing back as the leaf on top of his head glowed bright green. He swung it forward, releasing a cloud of razor-sharp leaves from his body. Aipom released a barrage of stars from her tail. Crobat swept her wings back and let loose waves of pressurized air. With the onslaught of attacks coming toward them, it was all that Team Rocket could do to try and protect themselves as best as they could.

One of the air blasts ripped apart the ‘scales’ of their submarine, exposing the wiring.

One of the leaves carved apart the wiring.

One of the bubbles caused the wiring to spark and start a fire.

And with a couple of impacts from the stars, the vehicle exploded, sending the thieves screaming into the air once more.

“…Are they going to be alright?” Dawn asked with concern. “I mean, I assume so, they survived two of those yesterday…”

“Oh, they’ve survived way more than two. They’ll be fine.” Brock said reassuringly.

Pikachu climbed up onto Ash’s shoulder, sighing in contentment. He then looked at his paw, then down at Ash’s clothes. He frowned, and asked his trainer, “(…Why are you wet?)”

* * *

“Well, I must thank you all for saving Turtwig from those crooks!” Clara said happily, half an hour and a change of clothes later, when the three trainers were back at the cottage. “You’re certainly a brave bunch of youngsters!”

Ash and Brock took the praise and thanked her as if they’d heard it a hundred times before. Dawn smiled awkwardly and said, “Well, I didn’t actually do anything, but thanks anyway.”

“Are you sure you’re leaving already?” Clara asked them.

“Like we said, we don’t wanna impose.” Ash nodded. “Plus, those guys kinda follow us wherever we go, and we don’t want you to have to deal with them any more than you have to, so…”

“Hm, fair enough.”

Turtwig was beside her, shuffling awkwardly and looking up at Ash with a strange look on his face. He opened his mouth to say something. “(Uh…)”

“Hm?” Ash looked down at the tortoise. “What’s up, Turtwig?”

“(I, uh…)” He shook his head and stood resolutely. “(I wanna go with you!)”

“Oh my!” Clara chuckled. “It seems that Turtwig wants to travel with you.”

Ash gasped. “Woah, you can understand Pokémon too?”

Clara blinked. “You what?”

“What?”

There was an awkward silence.

“…Anyway…” Ash turned his attention back to Turtwig. “Are you sure that you want to come with us, Turtwig?”

“(I’m going _insane_ here.)” Turtwig said desperately. “(The food’s great, but I can’t spend the rest of my life trying on sweaters. I wanna evolve! I wanna become strong! But most of all, I want to be able to protect other Pokémon! The whole reason I’m here is because I got beaten up trying to protect someone! And you seem like you have a lot experience in protecting people.)”

Ash briefly reflected on all the times he had insanely jumped in front of a Pokémon’s attack to shield someone else.

“…More than I should.” Ash replied. “We travel around a lot, though. And it can get pretty dangerous, like it did today.”

“(And today, I felt stronger than I had ever felt before in my life!)” Turtwig replied emphatically. “(Please, take me with you!)”

“…Heh.” Ash smiled. “Alright. I’ll take you.”

“( _Yes!_ )” Turtwig leapt up in the air.

“…I feel like I should be questioning this.” Clara said.

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” Brock advised.

Ash reached into his backpack and pulled out a blue Pokéball with two red stripes on it. He looked to Clara for confirmation. “Do you mind if Turtwig comes with us?”

“Of course not.” Clara replied, smiling. “It wouldn’t be right of me to keep him here if he didn’t want to.”

“Alright!” Ash leaned down and bopped Turtwig on the nose with the Great Ball. “Turtwig, I choose you!”

Turtwig stood proudly as he turned into neon-red energy, getting sucked into the confines of the Pokéball. The Pokéball didn’t even shake once before the light at the front blinked red to signify successful capture.

With a new Sinnoh Pokémon under his belt, the young trainers bade farewell to Clara, who waved them off as they continued on their journey toward Jubilife City. She watched them, smiling kindly as they made their way down Route 202 and travelled further and further away from her cottage.

She froze in sudden realisation.

“Oh God, what have I done?” She cried. “ _I’m all alone again!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. I'm back to uni, so future progress will likely be slow.


	5. O' Valiant Knight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, uh, sorry this took a while. I blame university and my penchant for working on a hundred different side projects at the same time. Don't know how long the next one's gonna take, only that it'll go into the first contest.
> 
> Edit: Minor grammatical/story flow improvments.

In the tall grasses lining Route 202, a long, cotton-tipped ear shot up.

The fluff-covered rabbit the ear was attached to straightened up, looking around curiously. She heard noise. A weird noise.

She sniffed the air.

Forget the noise, she smelt _food_.

She bounded towards the source of both sensations, bouncing up and down on the cream-coloured puffs of fur that were her paws. As she got closer, she slowed down cautiously, hoping to hide in the bushes and observe whatever this thing was. Once she was close enough, she hopped into a nearby shrubbery and peered outwards onto the scene. It looked like two humans, a tall squinty one and a short messy one. The tall human was stirring something in a metal pot atop a white table, where the rabbit thought she could smell the aroma from. The small human, from which the noise was coming from, was chasing around a purple monkey Pokémon with a hat on its head and a hand extruding from its butt.

“Aipom, quit messing around!” The short human cried. “Gimme back my hat!”

The monkey just laughed in reply as it leapt around the camp site, jumping on top of a garish pink tent as it did so. “(Gonna have to catch me then, boss!)”

“What do you think I’m doing?!” The short human made to grab the monkey, but it dodged him once again and leapt into the treetops. “Brock! A little help here?”

“Making breakfast.” The tall human replied bluntly.

“Dammit! I need breakfast!” The short human said in despair. It turned to the tent. “Dawn, what about you?”

“Sorry, I can’t help you!” Said a high-pitched human voice from within the tent. “I haven’t put nearly enough product in my hair yet!”

“Why does that matter?!”

“…Let’s just say that this haircut needs a little bit of help to actually look good.”

The rabbit blinked a few times as it tried to make sense of the scene before it. After a moment, she decided that as good as that smell was, it probably wasn’t worth getting tangled up in… whatever this was. She turned to leave, hoping to find a few berries that would serve as a suitable replacement for whatever was in that pot.

“Whoop!”

“(I’ve got it!)”

The rabbit turned back to the scene once more. The tall human had apparently dropped his spoon as something small and yellow zipped past him and leapt off the table. It collided with the monkey, causing it to yelp in surprise, and it snatched the hat from its head in a manoeuvre that was simultaneously the most graceful and powerful move the rabbit had ever seen in her life.

Not stopping there, it then leapt off from her and dove toward the ground like a small yellow meteorite. It ducked and rolled across the grass, positioning itself with such finesse to catch the spoon right before it could hit the grass. The spoon fell into the mouse’s open paw and it held up it triumphantly, the hat spinning in its other paw.

“(Ha!)” The Pikachu cried victoriously. “(I caught the hat _and_ the spoon at the same time! God, I’m so awesome!)”

The rabbit stared directly at the small yellow mouse in awe. She blinked once. Then twice.

 _I wanna have his babies,_ she thought to herself.

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 5: O’ Valiant Knight!**

* * *

About halfway down Route 202, erected in the middle of a forest clearing, stood a rather garish building coloured pink, red, and midnight blue. A large Pokéball symbol was emblazoned upon it, large enough to distract people, at least for a moment, from the haphazard paint job of the place and the outlandish design that included a spiralling green line on the front that somewhat resembled a cactus.

Within the building was a dirt battlefield, with marking that looked like they had been hastily drawn in the past few hours. On one side was a young woman with outlandish red hair, wide red glasses and a tight purple dress, spotted with yellow dots not unlike those of a Seviper. Beside her was a man with light blue hair, dressed in a bright white suit, and a very small man in a red suit that looked suspiciously like a Meowth in a costume.

In the middle of the field was a Seviper, snarling as it pushed its blade-like tail down upon a hardened bone-club, held by a rather frightened yet determined dinosaur-like creature with a skull covering its face. The battle was desperate, with Seviper grinning savagely as it bore down on the tiny Pokémon.

On the other side of the field was a teenage boy with no remarkable qualities whatsoever.

“Finish this up!” Jessie ordered, sweeping her hand across dramatically. “Seviper! Poison Tail!”

With a triumphant hiss, the snake leapt up, causing the Cubone to lose balance for a crucial second. The snake then whipped around and slammed its tail into the creature’s stomach, sending it hurtling backwards towards the boy’s feet. The boy cried and ran for his pet in concern, the universal, though never officially recognised, sign of conceding.

“(Heh.)” Seviper smirked. “(Not even worth my time.)”

“Aw, man.” The trainer said, cradling his unconscious friend in his arms. “Guess I lost, then. Thanks for the battle, uh… Princess Powerzone.” He said the last part rather uncertainly, as if he was aware of how ridiculous that name sounded.

“Truly, it’s my pleasure,” Jessie said, approaching the young boy with James in tow. “A shame that you couldn’t best my beauty and brilliance, however…” She grinned. “But thanks to the generosity of the Powerzone Gym, we can change that in an instant!”

“Challengers who fail to best the Powerzone Gym are invited to leave their Pokémon with us for specialised training, for absolutely no cost!” James spoke up enthusiastically. “We’ll hold onto your Pokémon for the week, and when you return, it’ll be stronger than before, and you’ll be allowed to challenge us again!”

The trainer looked at these two strangers that he had only met today. He thought about their proposition for a moment and, possessing the correct number of brain cells to recognise this deal as sketchy, pulled out Cubone’s Pokéball. “I… don’t think I’m gonna do that.”

“…Are… are you sure?” Jessie asked, her smile strained. “If you leave him with us, we can make him strong enough to take on _any_ Gym Leader!”

“The Elite Four, even!” James added desperately.

The Cubone dissipated into red energy. “Yeah, I’m think I’m good, actually.”

“You won’t have to pay a cent!” Jessie said quickly.

“It’ll be toughened up in a jiffy!” James added, practically begging.

“I’m just gonna go now.” The trainer said, standing up and walking towards the exit. “I think I’ll just go, uh… thanks for the battle, I guess… bye.”

“No, wait-!” James cried, his pleas falling on deaf ears as the trainer left the building. The doors swung open, then swung shut, and there was only silence in the false gym.

“Smooth.” Meowth said sarcastically.

“Urgh, just brilliant!” Jessie growled, folding her arms. “I knew this plan wouldn’t get off the ground.”

“This was _your_ _idea_!” Mewoth snapped.

“Not one of these travellers have fallen for this scheme, and we’ve been at it since yesterday!” Jessie continued, ignoring her feline friend. “I suppose that’s what we get for chasing around a band of idiots for so long – we don’t know how to deal with people with actual brains.”

“Well, at least Seviper was good in that battle.” James offered helpfully as the snake approached Jessie and coiled beside her. “That counts for something.”

“Well, of course she was. She’s _Seviper_.” Jessie replied, reaching out and stroking Fang Snake’s head. “She’s literally our strongest Pokémon, even compared to those of the twerps.”

“(You flatter me.)” Seviper hissed coolly.

“Unfortunately, that talent doesn’t mean anything if we don’t have any Pokémon to show for it.” Jessie added.

Disgruntled, Seviper pulled her head away from her master’s embrace.

“Maybe we’re goin’ about this the wrong way.” Meowth suggested. “We’re tryin’ to be subtle and everythin’, but subtlety’s never been our strong suit.”

“That’s only because we’ve never worn that suit.” James rebutted. “And I personally think that we should have a varied wardrobe, to adapt to any dress code that stands in front of us!”

“But it isn’t working.” Jessie complained, rebutting the rebuttal.

“ _Yet._ ”

Meowth rolled his eyes. “Alright, how about this: next chump who comes in here, we’ll do the same thing that didn’t work the last four times, and if it _still_ doesn’t work… we just kidnap the guy’s Pokémon.”

Jessie and James looked at each other.

They shrugged in agreement.

* * *

Our heroes were just starting their third day on the road, with Jubilife City only a day and a half away. Ash and Brock were quite calm about it all, having been all over three entire regions, whereas Dawn was practically vibrating with energy, Piplup waddling beside her.

“I can’t believe we’re almost at Jubilife City!” Dawn squealed. “I’m gonna be in the Jubilife Contest, and I’m gonna get a ribbon, and I’m gonna go all the way to the Grand Festival and become Top Coordinator!”

“…Well, you’re certainly aiming big.” Brock chuckled.

“Ah, what’s wrong with aiming big?” Ash laughed. “I aim big every day, and I say go for it!” He smirked. “Dunno if you’ll have the time to become Top Coordinator, with how long you spend on your hair.”

“Man, you have _no_ idea what it takes to keep this beast in line.” Dawn shook her head and pointed to her hair, completely straight and flowing down to her shoulders. “Didn’t help that I had a crappy night’s sleep, either.”

“Nerves?” Ash asked.

Dawn looked at him, recalling a dream of spindly legs, acidic pincers, and hideous, non-stop chittering.

“Sure.” She replied.

“Ah, I got that when I was starting out too.” Ash nodded. “I remember, right before I entered in my first-”

“(There’s a Pokémon in those bushes.)” Pikachu suddenly said, pointing at a nearby bush.

“There’s a Pokémon in those bushes?” Ash questioned, looking towards the bushes.

With a small squeak of alarm, a Pokémon leapt out of the bushes and took off deeper into the woods. It was a tiny Pokémon, about the size of Piplup or Pikachu, and it looked for all the world like a small rabbit with the plushness of a teddy bear.

Ash blinked as Dawn squealed beside him once more. “Who’s that Pokémon?”

“ _Dude!_ That was a Buneary!” Dawn cried with excitement.

“A Buneary, huh?” Brock folded his arms as Ash checked it with its Pokédex. “Is it a rare species here?”

“I don’t know, but it’s so _cute!_ ” Dawn was already pulling out Piplup’s Pokéball. “I’m definitely gonna catch it!”

“…You think you can handle it?” Ash asked concernedly, remembering the last time Dawn tried to catch a Pokémon.

“Yeah, I’ve got it!” Dawn replied confidently, taking off after it. “Quick! Before it gets away!”

With a shrug, Ash and Brock followed Dawn as they chased after the Buneary. It wasn’t a particularly long chase, lasting only a minute before Buneary stopped hopping away and turned around in a forest clearing.

“(Jeez, jeez… alright!)” Buneary started hopping about on her paws. “(Alright! Let’s go!)”

She threw the Pokéball forward. “Piplup! Leap into the spotlight!”

The Pokéball opened up, releasing the little penguin onto the battlefield. He put his fins on his hips and declared, “(Piplup’s in the fuckin’ _house_.)”

Brock looked at Dawn in surprise and confusion. “…Leap into the spotlight?”

“Y-Yeah!” Dawn replied, confident smile flickering. “Because there’s, like… spotlights in contests… it’s kinda like Ash’s, ‘I-choose-you’ thing…”

“It’s a bit long, isn’t it?” Ash asked.

“…Y-Yeah, I guess… uh…” Dawn murmured, then turned to the battle, recomposing herself. “A-Alright Piplup! Let’s do it! Start with Bubble!”

“(Blub blub blub!!)” Piplup let loose a stream of bubbles towards the rabbit, who dodged it by leaping high up into the air. Dawn squinted as the little rabbit flew up into the sky, then realised with alarm that she was going to land down on Piplup’s head.

“Dodge it Piplup!” She cried. Then, quickly, she added, “And then use Pound!”

Piplup leapt aside, narrowly dodging the Bounce attack, and then swung his flipper around to strike the rabbit as she came down. Deftly, however, she dodged him again, jumping back, leaping forward and striking Piplup numerous times in a strange, rhythmic pattern. The penguin spluttered and stepped backwards in pain, reeling.

“(Ow-!)” He cried, rubbing his beak. “(Whu- what- oh…)” He began to totter back and forth. “(Oh, I don’t… I don’t feel so good…)”

“Alright, uh, this isn’t going so well, uh-!” Dawn panicked. “Piplup, use Bubble again!”

“(Slap myself in the face?)” Piplup said dizzily, saluting her. “(You got it!)”

With that, Piplup slapped himself across the face.

Then he fell over.

“…Return...” Dawn said in a very small voice, holding out the Pokéball and recalling her little penguin. She held the Pokéball in her hand, her lower lip trembling. Then she collapsed to the ground and burst into hysterical tears.

“ _Why?!_ ” She cried. “ _Why can’t I do anything right?! Why can’t I just be good and catch Pokémon like a real trainer and be a coordinator and I suck so much…!_ ”

“…I seriously can’t believe she does this every time she makes a mistake.” Brock sighed, half-concerned and half-exasperated.

“…Uh, do you want me to…?” Ash started to ask.

“ _Yes_ , you can do it for me, oh my God.” Dawn said in relief, immediately standing up and backing away.

“Okay…” Ash turned to the yellow mouse on his shoulder. “Pikachu, go for it!”

“(You want her to fight _me_?)” Pikachu raised an eyebrow. “(Bit of a leap, don’t you think?)”

“You know, just to gauge her skill level.”

Pikachu sighed. “(If you say so.)” He leapt down from the boy’s shoulder and onto the battlefield, crouching on all fours. “(Let’s do this.)”

The rabbit jumped in alarm, then immediately started smoothing out her fur. “(Oh jeez, oh jeez…)” She muttered quietly to herself before clearing her throat, smiling, and clasping her paws together. “(Golly!)” She said. “(You’re such a strong, strapping Pokémon! There’s no way I’ll be able to win against you…)”

Pikachu smirked. “(Lady, you have no idea how true-)”

Buneary smirked at him with half-lidded eyes. “(I guess I can’t stop you from taking advantage of me, huh?)”

The tension of the battle came to a screeching, catastrophic halt, like a truck had slammed into a bus full of orphaned schoolchildren after the driver had sped through an intersection trying to run a red light. Pikachu recoiled in shock and horror, his ears flattened back against his skull as he processed the words that just came out of Buneary’s mouth. “(I’m- I’m sorry?!)” He spluttered.

Buneary faltered, as if she had expected a different outcome. “(I- I’m just saying, that as powerful, _dominant_ male… there’s no way that I’d be able to fight back against you, so you’d win… and if, once you won, you wanted to, say… rut me into next week…)” She fluttered her eyes at him. “(…Well, there’d be nothing I could do to stop you.)”

Pikachu took a slow step backwards. “(Asssshhh! She’s making it weird!)” He cried over his shoulder.

“Yeah, uh…” Ash muttered, being in the unfortunate position of being able to talk to Pokémon. “I… I can’t help you buddy, I dunno what to tell you.”

“What’s happening?” Dawn asked, confused.

Ash shrugged uncomfortably. “I dunno, this Buneary’s just making it… weird.”

“Weird how?”

“I understand what’s going on perfectly.” Brock cut in with complete seriousness, prompting Dawn to look at him. He clenched his fist and said, both dramatically and passionately, “This Buneary has given in to the purest of emotions, the gentlest of sensations – she’s fallen in love with Pikachu!”

“Love?” Dawn said, blinking in surprise and looking at Buneary.

“(Is- Is this not working?)” Buneary asked nervously. “(The prey fetish thing usually works, I- are you not into that? What about a predator fetish, do you have that?)”

“(… _No!_ )” Pikachu responded forcefully.

“…I don’t know if that’s what this is, Brock.” Ash said sceptically.

Dawn stroked her chin, thinking and looking at the way Buneary acted. She took a Pokéball from her bag and carefully walked into the battlefield toward the teddy-bear rabbit, who immediately became warier, backing up a bit.

“Hey Buneary… you like Pikachu, yeah?” Dawn asked gently. When Buneary smiled softly and nodded shyly, Dawn continued. “Well, this doesn’t have to be the last time you see Pikachu. If you come with us, you can see him as much as you like!”

“Wait, what?” Ash blinked.

“(Wait, what?!)” Pikachu stuttered.

Buneary’s eyes lit up. “(I never thought about that for some reason…)”

“Sounds good, right?” Dawn said encouragingly. “What do you say, you wanna come with us?” She held out a Pokéball to illustrate her point.

Buneary seemed to think about it. After a moment she smiled, coming to a decision. She then bounced up and slapped the Pokéball’s button with her paw, prompting the device to open up and suck her up in a miasma of red energy. It shook only once before it sealed, legitimising the catch. Dawn held up the Pokéball and smiled with warmth and quickly growing excitement.

“(…You sly bitch.)” Pikachu muttered in a mix of admiration and distaste.

“ _I did it!!_ ” Dawn leapt up into the air in exhilaration. “I caught a Pokémon!! I’m going to be a real coordinator!!”

Brock and Ash looked at their new friend as she jumped up and down like a child. They looked between each other with some measure of pride for their new friend.

A second later, they had to awkwardly avert their eyes as Dawn’s skirt bounced up more than it should’ve.

* * *

It should be noted that while the Team Rocket Trio we’re all familiar were _very_ close to the bottom of the Team Rocket ladder, they were hardly unskilled. Years of chasing after the twerps had strengthened their battling skills – to the level of Ash’s companions, at least. And so it was that, Jessie found herself winning yet another battle against an inexperienced trainer, her Seviper slamming a Bidoof into the dirt of the hideously painted fake gym.

The Bidoof’s trainer, a young teenage girl with pigtails, cried and rushed toward her pet. Seviper landed elegantly next to Jessie, hissing softly.

“Excellent as always, Seviper.” Jessie said coolly.

“(Of course I was.)” The snake cooed.

“Oh, Bidoof…” The young trainer stroked her little beaver Pokémon. “I’m sorry… I guess gym battles are tougher than I thought.”

“It seems that your little darling wasn’t quite up to the task.” Jessie said, walking towards the trainer with James and Meowth in tow. “But don’t worry – that’s where we come in!”

“If you hand your Pokémon to us, we can train it up to become even stronger than ever before!” James declared. “There’ll be no gym in Sinnoh that will be able to stand up to his might once we’re done with him!”

The trainer thought about this for a little bit.

“…I dunno…” She said uncertainly. “This sounds like a scam.”

“Oh no, no, this is perfectly legitimate!” Jessie insisted, Seviper coiling beside her and going to sleep. “In fact, we were ranked the number one training facility in all of Sinnoh by… the… uh…”

“Sinnoh Pokémon Training Committee.” James interjected.

“The Sinnoh Pokémon Training Committee!”

The trainer frowned and held her Bidoof closer. “…This is definitely sounding like a scam.”

Jessie sighed in frustration. “Alright, this isn’t working. Plan B?”

“Plan B.” James agreed.

“Plan B.” Meowth nodded, pulling out a small remote and pushing a button on it.

Out from nowhere, a mechanical arm leapt out and ripped the Plump Mouse Pokémon from the trainer’s embrace, who cried out in shock and fear, “ _Ah!_ Bidoof, no!”

“Listen, is that a twerpish voice I hear?” Jessie asked, striking a pose.

“It’s shrieking to me, loud and clear.” James said calmly, also striking a pose.

Jessie ripped off her dress, revealing the pristine white Team Rocket uniform that was somehow underneath it. “On the wind!”

James ripped off his suit, his uniform also somehow underneath the disguise. “Past the stars!”

“She’s gone.” Meowth pointed out.

Jessie blinked. “…What?”

“She ran away the second we started the motto.”

Jessie and James looked at the empty spot where the trainer used to be.

“…Oh.” Jessie shook her head and walked over to the arm that held Bidoof. “Well, it doesn’t matter. At least now we’ve finally caught a Pokémon for our efforts!”

The Bidoof grinned stupidly at her, cross-eyed.

“…Was this a mistake?” She asked her fellow thieves.

“Hey, a capture’s a capture.” Meowth told her. “Maybe it ain’t Pikachu, but it’s _somethin’_ , innit?”

“Yes, yes, alright.” Jessie grumbled as the hand retracted to shove the beaver into a plastic capsule. “I just hoped for something more than… whatever _that_ is.”

“What about that Pokémon over there?” James asked, pointing toward the entrance.

Jessie followed his finger. “What Pokémon over- _Oh, dear God!_ ”

Jessie recoiled as she saw exactly what James was pointing at: a large lump of blue-purple flesh that vaguely resembled a frog, with haunting yellow eyes, two puffed orange pouches, and a strange, tooth half-grin.

“(Yo.)” It croaked. “(Is this where the action’s happening?)”

“… _Okay!_ ” Jessie backed up. “What is _that_ thing?!”

James pulled out a collection of old trading cards, searching through them until he found one with a picture that corresponded to the creature standing before them. “Hmm… looks like a Croagunk, a Poison-Fighting type. Interesting combination.”

“That’s _lovely_. _Why_ is it here?”

“(I was bored.)” The Croagunk croaked, not moving from its position. “(Heard there were battles going on here. So where are they?)”

“I think he’s just looking for a battle.” Meowth shrugged.

“Well, perhaps we should indulge him.” James suggested. “Battle him, then add him to our roster?”

“Do you really want to wake up every morning knowing _that_ is on our team?” Jessie said incredulously. “No, we’ll just send him to the boss. A supplement for that beaver-thing. Seviper – Poison Tail.”

“(Ah, another easy victory.)” Seviper hissed, uncoiling herself and slithering onto the battlefield. “(Where are all the worthy challengers in this region?)”

The giant snake leapt forth and swung her tail towards the frog. Croagunk deftly leapt up and onto the snake’s body as she carved into the spot where he once was.

“(Right here.)” He said.

With a war cry, he swung the edge of his hand upon the top of the snake’s head, instantly knocking the poison-type Pokémon out with a fighting-type move. The snake fell to the ground, and the frog landed in front of her.

“(So, there a prize for this?)” Croagunk asked a horrified Team Rocket.

“… _Yeah_ …” Meowth said slowly. “Yeah, there’s a prize for this, you get, uh…” He searched his pockets quickly for anything of value, looked at the objects he pulled out, then handed them forward. “…a couple of pennies and this stick of gum.”

“(Sick.)” Croagunk croaked.

* * *

The three trainers had decided to stop at a clearing nearby the road, setting up on top of a hill. After lunch, Ash had immediately gotten back into training. ‘Reflex training’ was what he called it, focusing on improving his Pokémon’s speed and dexterity. Turtwig had turned out to be quite speedy for a turtle, easily dodging half-powered thunderbolts thrown by Pikachu from the other end of the field.

Brock, Dawn and their respective Pokémon watched from atop the hill, sitting at the fold-out table with a plate of rice and vegetables in front of them. Dawn and Buneary, however, had barely touched their food, opting instead to gaze dreamily at their respective objects of affection.

“…You enjoying the view?” Brock asked eventually.

“Hmn?” Dawn blinked, then registered what Brock had said. “Oh! Well, it’s just uh… fascinating, you know? Like, he looks really in control down there.”

“That’s Ash for you.” Brock replied, taking a sip of tea. “When it comes to Pokémon battles, he really knows what he’s doing.”

“Yeah, it’s so cool to watch…” Dawn murmured, her eyes drifting back down the hill. “I dunno why, but it makes me feel so inspired…”

“It’s because you have a crush on him, right?” Brock asked bluntly.

“W-What?!” Dawn spluttered, immediately sitting up right. “No! No, what, of course not! Uh, I… uh…” She slumped. “…Yeah. Yeah, it uh… it is ‘cause of that.”

“You haven’t exactly been hiding it.” Brock shrugged at her.

Dawn shrugged back. “I’m not great at hiding my emotions. I mean, I kinda figured you’d notice it after a while… I’m honestly kinda surprised that Ash hasn’t.”

 _I’m not._ Brock thought to himself before asking, “I’m curious. What exactly attracted you to Ash in the first place?”

“Uh…” Dawn thought back. “I think it was during that battle he had with Paul. The way he fought, the way he gave orders… he was just…” She struggled for moment to find the right words. “…He was really confident and in control, but not in a douchebag-y way, in a more… earnest.” She smiled. “Yeah… that’s the one. He’s brave, really confident, and really nice, you know… it also helps that’s kinda… cute.” She blushed, then gushed out. “Actually, when we arrive in Jubilife, I was thinking of asking him out after the contest. I know this great restaurant, I went there a year ago with my mum, he’d _love_ it.”

“…Yeah…” Brock said slowly and uncertainly. “I’d recommend on maybe… holding off on that.”

“Oh God, he’s taken, isn’t he?” Dawn groaned.

“What? No, he- well… I don’t _think_ so…” Brock mused. “But I doubt it. Ash is kind of oblivious with this stuff.”

“Oblivious?” Dawn asked, confused.

From beside her, Piplup muttered into his food bowl, “(He’s saying the guy’s stupider than a lobotomised Caterpie.)”

“Ash can be slow on the uptake with a lot of things.” Brock explained. “He doesn’t notice things that other people see instantly, and he has a bit of difficulty with understanding new ideas.”

“…Is this a nice way of calling him retarded?” Dawn asked.

“I don’t use those slurs.” Brock replied bluntly. “And honestly, it’s not that he has a disability, it’s more that he’s… _uniquely_ ignorant.”

Dawn raised a brow and looked down at the training grounds. “He looks pretty sharp down there.”

“Oh yeah, when it comes to Pokémon and battling, Ash is one-hundred-percent on point.” Brock nodded. “But when it comes to stuff that falls outside of that…”

_“Alright Ash,” Brock said, handing the young boy a list. “I need to quickly get some medicine from the Pokémart, so I’m leaving the market shopping to you. I need you to get about ten apples, half a pound of spinach, a bag of raw sugar, and three pounds of rice. Think you can handle that?”_

_Ash frowned. “Uh, apples are the yellow ones, right?”_

_Brock stared at him._

“…Let’s just say you’d be surprised at what he doesn’t know.” Brock said generously.

“Okay, so he’s a little slow. Why does that stop me from liking him?” Dawn asked, somewhat irritably. “That’s not a deal-breaker!”

“No, it isn’t. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t like him or date him.” Brock replied. “I just don’t think you should rush into a relationship with Ash. Give yourself some time to get to know him a little better before you make any commitments.”

Dawn groaned. “Urgh, you sound like my mum…” She hesitated. “I mean, I guess I _can_ wait a bit… If he’s really as slow as you say he is.”

“Trust me.” Brock took another sip of tea. “You’ll know exactly what I’m talking about by the time we reach Jubilife.”

* * *

“Alright Turtwig, dodge it!” Ash cried.

The tiny twig Pokémon leapt out of the way as Starly came darting down towards him. The turtle was like a tiny green blur on the battlefield, the poor starling unable to keep up with him. The bird squawked in frustration as he soared back up.

“Great work, Turtwig!” Ash praised.

Turtwig beamed. “(Thanks, Ash!)”

Ash turned to Starly. “Starly, try to predict where your opponent is going to dodge. Most Pokémon will try to dodge to the right, so try banking in that direction!”

“(I can’t even dive properly, how the heck do I bank?!)” Starly cried.

“Don’t get like that with me, I _know_ you can do it if you try! Now, let’s run it again!”

From the side of the hill, Pikachu and Aipom sat, observing the training session with an Oran berry in each of their paws. Aipom’s was already half-eaten.

“(New guys are learnin’ quick.)” Aipom commented.

“(Eh.)” Pikachu shrugged. “(They’re alright. Starly has a way to go, though.)”

“(You’re too harsh.)” Aipom replied dismissively, chewing on her berry. “(Just ‘cause you’re overpowered doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.)”

“(Hey, I was here since the very beginning.)” Pikachu retorted. “(I’ve seen the best that Ash’s team has to offer. Sceptile, Heracross, Snorlax… freakin’ _Charizard_ … these guys have a lot to live up to.)”

“(Dude, I’ve been around since Johto, you don’t see me bein’ judgy _._ Also, do you really think any of these guys are gonna live up to _Charizard_?)”

“(Hey, I’m just saying-)”

“(Hiya!)”

Pikachu winced as Buneary hopped down to join them. Aipom merely blinked and asked, “(Oh. New catch?)”

“(Uh, yeah.)”

“(Sweet. Aipom.)” The purple monkey waved her tail-hand at her. “(Mr Judgemental over here is Pikachu.)”

“(Yeah, uh… we’ve met.)” Pikachu muttered awkwardly.

“(Yeah, uh…)” Buneary replied, equally as awkwardly. “(About earlier… I guess that I misread the situation…)”

“(You were coming on pretty strong, yeah.)” Pikachu agreed.

“(Um… so, like… I just came over to clarify on what I meant earlier…)”

“(…Okay…)” Pikachu said hesitantly.

“(You see, I just really want to have sex with you!)” Buneary said brightly.

Aipom and Pikachu stared at her.

“(Okay, well, you’re still coming on strong, you’re just being a lot less subtle about it.)” He said forcefully.

“( _Come on_ , please?)” Buneary replied, practically begging. “(You’re just so muscular and toned and handsome and _I want you inside me!_ )” The rabbit suddenly growled.

Pikachu recoiled in terror.

“(… _Dude._ )” Aipom said in a tone that was simultaneously impressed and concerned. “(When did you get a stalker?)”

Buneary spluttered. “(Whu- I’m not- How is this stalking?!)”

“(How is it _not_ stalking?!)” Pikachu demanded.

“(It’s romantic!)” She leapt forward into his face, Aipom falling aside with a yelp. “(And it’d be even more romantic if you would come over here and rut me!)”

“(U-Uh…!)” Pikachu stared at the sexually aggressive rabbit with all the unadulterated terror of a side character in a slasher film.

“(You don’t even have to last that long. Five minutes, that’s all I need!)” Buneary said with a glint in her eye and an excited smile. “(I’ll even let you do butt stuff!)”

“(H-Hey!)” Pikachu pointed toward a figure near the road with a forced grin. “(Look over there! It’s _literally_ anything else!)”

The two female Pokémon looked towards where the mouse was pointing. A figure in a blue uniform had just parked a white motorcycle to the side of the road and was heading toward the group.

“(Isn’t that an Officer Jenny?)” Aipom noticed.

“(…Oh fuck.)” Pikachu groaned.

* * *

Ash had met many an Officer Jenny in his day. Corrupt Jenny, Tired Jenny, Angry Jenny, Cold Jenny, Nice Jenny and Action Hero Jenny, each of them visually indistinguishable from one another but with completely different personalities. He never knew what to expect from an Officer Jenny, not even in the broad strokes.

“Hey!”

So, when he turned around to see a familiar policewoman with the stern face, blue cap and cerulean-teal hair approaching, he mentally braced himself to prepare for anything.

Ash waited for Officer Jenny to approach, Brock and Dawn walking down the hill to meet her. Once she was close enough, she held out a badge and said, “Officer Jennifer, Sandgem City Precinct.”

“Is there a problem, Officer?” Ash asked, the usually safe default greeting to give to an Officer Jenny.

“No problem, actually.” Jenny replied. She looked fairly relaxed, which Ash took as the sign that she didn’t think they had done anything wrong. “It’s more that-”

“There most certainly is no problem!” Brock declared the instant he was within earshot conversation. He immediately kneeled before the police officer like a romantic medieval bard and said, “Not now that you’re here!”

“…What?” Jenny said blankly.

Ash rolled his eyes, resigning himself to the scene that was about to unfold. Dawn approached slowly, Piplup in her arms, staring at Brock in disbelief. “What… the hell is this?” She asked Ash in confusion.

“Just let it play out.” Ash replied wearily as Pikachu leapt onto his shoulder.

“Your hair is as beautiful as the shimmering sea, and your eyes the colour of burning gold!” Brock gushed passionately. “Your beauty is as unique and unparalleled as the stars themselves, and I would happily cross them in an instant to be by your side! I give myself to you, Jenny, as your (possible) future lover!”

Dawn stared at him.

“(…Today’s been weirdly romance-heavy.)” Piplup commented.

“…Anyway…” Jenny turned away from Brock and toward the other members of the party. “I’m just here to ask a couple of questions. Are any of you from Jubilife City?”

“We’re going _to_ Jubilife.” Ash replied. “Why do you ask?”

Jenny folded her arms. “Because a building has appeared about an hour up the road, and it’s apparently Jubilife’s new Pokémon gym.”

Ash blinked in surprise, and then in confusion. “A Jubilife Gym?” He and Dawn shared a look of confusion. “The map didn’t say anything about a Gym in Jubilife…”

“Apparently, it showed up just this morning.” Jenny explained. “It’s called the ‘Powerzone’ Gym, and it’s run by a woman called…” Jenny frowned, as if she was fully aware of how ridiculous the next two words she was going to say really were. “… ‘Princess Powerzone’. I haven’t seen the place myself, but travellers say that the woman claimed to have been approved by the Jubilife City Council to be the city’s Pokémon Gym.”

“The Jubilife City Gym… that isn’t called the Jubilife City Gym… and also isn’t in Jubilife City.” Dawn said slowly.

“Yeah, it’s almost certainly a scam.” Jenny nodded. “But it’s technically outside my jurisdiction, so I can’t investigate it myself. I’m just checking with other travellers to see if anyone from Jubilife has ever heard of it.”

Ash shrugged. “Sorry we couldn’t help.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jenny replied, heading back to her motorcycle. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to stay away from it. It’s all too easy to get sucked into these kinds of things.”

“Alright. Thanks, Jenny!”

She nodded at the youngsters and got back onto her motorbike, taking off back toward Sandgem Town.

Ash turned to Dawn and Brock. “We should go check out that Gym.”

“…Why?” Dawn asked.

“Just in case it is a new gym.” Ash shrugged. “Maybe I can get a new badge early.” He turned around and headed over to his Pokémon. “Alright, guys! We’ll do a little more training, and then we’re gonna head off!”

Dawn watched Ash head off. Once he was out of earshot, she turned to Brock, who had not moved since Officer Jenny had left, and had in fact been ignored for the entirety of the previous conversation.

“…It’s alright.” Brock said in a voice of forced positivity. “Plenty of fish in the sea, Brocko.”

He turned over and saw Dawn looking down on him, thoroughly unimpressed.

“…What?”

“So I’m the one who’s rushing into relationships?” She asked annoyedly.

Brock thought about what she was saying.

“…Oh.” He said.

He thought about for a little more.

“…I just lost all credibility, didn’t I?” He asked.

“Just a bit.” Dawn replied. “Uh, so, I’m going to go with my old plan, and I’m just gonna ignore… _everything_ you just told me.”

“Well, wait a second.” Brock stood up. “I get that-”

“Yeah, I don’t care _what_ you have to say to me.” Dawn interrupted him. “I try not to take advice from womanizers.”

Brock spluttered. “I- It’s not- How is it womanizing?”

“How is it _not_ womanizing?” Dawn demanded. “You literally just prostrated yourself before a woman that you have _never met before_!”

“…I mean, that’s _technically_ true, but-”

“No buts.” Dawn turned around and began to head back. “I’m going to go ahead with my business of dating who I want, and you… feel free to go ahead with your business of being alone for the rest of your life.”

Brock watched her leave, heading back to the campsite where the rest of their Pokémon were.

“…You didn’t have to add the last part.” He mumbled quietly.

* * *

“Ugh, _finally!_ ” Meowth snapped as Jessie and James returned from the dressing room, back in their costumes. “How did it take you two a _literal_ thirty minutes to change back into the disguises?”

“It wouldn’t have taken so long if one of us didn’t insist on hiding the uniforms underneath.” James muttered, adjusting his powder-white tuxedo.

“It’s important for the spectacle!” Jessie argued. “What’s the point of using a costume if not to dramatically reveal that we were Team Rocket the entire time?”

“What’s the point of dramatically revealing that we were Team Rocket if only three people in Sinnoh know who we are?” James argued back.

“(I think it’s unique.)” Croagunk croaked from a corner of the room. “(Gives you a gimmick, sets you apart from the generic criminals out there.)”

The trio stared at the poison frog.

“…You… you know you don’t have to stay, now that you’ve gotten your prize, right?” Meowth asked.

“(Yeah.)” The frog looked at him, blowing out a bubble of gum.

Meowth turned back to the other two. “…Seriously, that guy’s freaking me the hell out.” He whispered.

A bell rang out from the front of the building.

“Oh!” James said with a start. “Seems that we have another challenger.”

“Excellent!” Jessie declared. “Places, people!”

“You sure you’ll be able to fight properly with Seviper out of commission?” Meowth asked with a raised brow.

“Please, my darling Dustox is more than enough for these children.” Jessie scoffed. “The only ones who could defeat us are the twerps, and they don’t even know this place is here!”

Through the doors, Ash, Brock and Dawn stepped into the room and onto the middle of the battlefield.

James and Meowth stared at them in horror.

“I don’t even know why I open my fucking mouth sometimes.” Jessie grumbled.

“Hi! Is this the Powerzone Gym?” Ash asked, addressing Team Rocket as if they were complete strangers. “I was hoping to get a Gym battle here.”

“…Ash?” Dawn looked over at her friend uncertainly.

Brock rubbed his eyes and Pikachu rolled his, both in exasperation. “Ash…” Brock said wearily. “Look at them closely.”

Ash frowned and inspected the three. “Well… there is something strangely familiar about them… but I can’t quite put my finger on it…”

“They- They’re Team Rocket.” Dawn told him. “They’re very obviously Team Rocket.”

“You sure? I mean, I can kinda see the resemblance, but I don’t wanna jump to-”

“We’re Team Rocket.” James told him bluntly.

“Woah!” Ash took a step back. “I did _not_ see that coming! Those are good disguises!”

Dawn stared in Ash in disbelief. She turned to Brock and asked quietly, “…Is he _serious_?”

“I warned you.” Brock whispered back.

“What are you twerps doin’ here, anyway?” Meowth demanded.

Brock turned to the Scratch Cat. “We’re just wandering from city to city like we normally do. What are _you_ clowns doing?”

“…Would you believe that we’ve turned over a new leaf and decided to become Gym leaders?” Jessie tried.

“Ehhhh… I am usually the one to give the benefit of the doubt…” Ash mused. “Show me your badge.”

“…Badge?” James asked weakly.

“You guys don’t have a badge?”

“We didn’t expect to lose.” Jessie replied.

“A true Gym Leader always prepares to lose!” Ash cried. “You’re not serious at all!”

“(Really? That’s what gave it away?)” Pikachu deadpanned.

“Well, what else would it be?” Ash replied.

“(I dunno, Ash. I’ve got no earthly idea.)” Pikachu replied sarcastically, jumping down from his shoulder and onto the battlefield.

“We’re not going to take this lying down!” Jessie declared, throwing forth a Pokéball. “Dustox, let’s show them what a fake Gym Leader can do!”

The Pokéball opened up, and the Poison Moth exploded out from it with a cry of, “(Let’s get this beauty routine going!)”

“Dustox, use Stun Spore!” Jessie ordered.

Dustox immediately halted, turning back to her master in confusion. “(Um, I don’t-)”

A blast of lightning exploded from Pikachu and hit the moth, sending her flying unconscious to the feet of a stunned Jessie.

Meowth closed his eyes and breathed in sharply. “Dustox… _can’t learn Stun Spore!_ ” He roared at her.

“…Oh.” Jessie said stupidly. “Wait, then what was I thinking of?”

The reply from Meowth was not forthcoming, on account of the fact that a second blast of electricity from Pikachu exploded them. When the smoke cleared, a hole had been ruptured in the roof of the building, with Team Rocket screaming away far in the distance.

“…Huh.” Dawn said. “They are only scary the first time ‘round.”

* * *

It was afternoon now. Ash and Dawn were waiting outside the ‘Powerzone Gym’, sitting upon the grass with Pikachu napping in front of them, and Piplup pacing around impatiently.

Brock emerged from the Gym, carrying a Pokémon in his arms. “Alright, I called the Jubilife Police Department. An officer should be arriving soon to clean all this up, we just need to stick around to answer any questions they might have. Good news is that it seems like they only managed to capture this fat, Sinnoian Rattata.”

The Bidoof blinked stupidly.

“Sounds about right.” Ash said.

“…Can we talk about what happened before?” Dawn asked hesitantly. “When you didn’t recognise Team Rocket even though they were clearly Team Rocket?”

“What?” Ash looked at her, confused. “They were wearing disguises. How was I supposed to know?”

Dawn stared at him, completely nonplussed. “…Ash, they were wearing different clothes.”

“Exactly! It was their most cunning disguise yet!”

“Y-Yet?” Dawn asked incredulously. “You mean you’ve fallen for this _before_?”

“Oh yeah, they use disguises all the time.” Ash nodded. “They have a real talent for it. I can never see through them.”

“(It’s specifically _him_ who doesn’t see through them.)” Pikachu added.

Dawn looked up at Brock as Ash gave Pikachu an irritated glance.

Brock gave her a look that said, ‘I’ve tried to have this conversation before, don’t bother’.

“Yeah…it’s usually me who falls for them.” Ash admitted. “Everyone else sees through them for some reason.”

“That’s… I…” Dawn stuttered, at a complete loss for words. “I don’t…”

“(Your friend’s dumb.)” Croagunk croaked from beside her.

“ _Pokémon-Jesus Christ!_ ” Dawn shrieked, leaping up in terror. “What the hell is that thing?!”

“Uh…” Ash scanned the frog with his Pokédex. “Looks like a… Croagunk. Poison-Fighting.”

“ _That’s_ a Croagunk?” Dawn stared at the creature in barely disguised horror.

“I think I read about those in the travel brochure.” Brock frowned. “Aren’t they supposed to live in eastern Sinnoh?”

Croagunk looked at the group before him. Dawn recoiling away from him, Ash looking at him with vague curiosity, Brock looking at him with concern, Piplup in panicked battle-mode, and Pikachu merely glancing at him with a complete lack of interest. Ignoring all but one of them, he walked up to Brock and looked up at him, his eldritch-yellow eyes staring past his eyes and directly into his soul.

“…Uh…” Brock said uncertainly.

“(I wanna come with.)” Croagunk croaked bluntly.

“…Ash?” Brock looked towards the only party member who could speak Pokémon.

“He says he wants to come with you.” Ash told him.

Brock thought about that.

“…Why?” He asked.

Croagunk told him.

“…He said he’s out of gum.” Ash said confusedly.

Croagunk looked up at Brock, his expression inscrutable.

“…Uh…” Hesitantly, Brock pulled out a normal Pokéball and tapped Croagunk on the nose.

He turned into red energy and was pulled into the capsule.

The Pokéball shook once before sealing.

“…Alright.” Brock said unsurely. “I have a Croagunk now.”

“…Yay?” Dawn said cautiously.

It took another ten minutes for the officer to arrive on the scene, riding a sleek white motorcycle and sporting a familiar blue-green hairdo. She pulled up before the fake gym and got up, walking towards the party.

“Alright, what are you people doing here?” Officer Jenny asked. “This is a crime scene.”

Dawn blinked in pleasant surprise and stood up to greet her. “Oh, Officer Jenny! I thought you said you couldn’t investigate this place?”

Jenny raised a brow at her.

Dawn hesitated. “D-Don’t you remember? You showed up to our camp earlier today.”

“Oh, that was the Officer Jenny from Sandgem.” Ash said, standing up. “I think this is the Officer Jenny from Jubilife.”

Dawn thought about the implication those words had.

“… _What?_ ” She asked in complete befuddlement.

“Trust me, you don’t want to think about it too hard.” Jenny told her.

“Oh, but I do!” Brock immediately dashed forth, getting down upon one knee again. “I think about it all the time! All Jenny’s are beautiful, but your beauty is something special!”

Jenny looked down on him somewhat coldly. Ash and Pikachu looked at him with weary resignation. Dawn and Piplup looked at him with disbelief and disgust. Brock, for his part, was oblivious to all these gazes that would tell an aware person to quit while he was ahead.

“I can tell that you’re a strong, independent woman, and I thoroughly respect that!” He continued. “It’s precisely that attitude that has attracted me to you so strongly, and-”

Before he could finish, one of his Pokéballs opened up. Brock blinked and turned around to see Croagunk materialise out of his back pocket, croaking mysteriously.

“Oh, hey Croagunk.” He said, immediately reverting back to normal Brock. “What’s-?”

Without any explanation or warning, Croagunk jabbed him in the waist with a venom-tipped strike, prompting a cry of pain from his master and cries of alarm from Ash and Dawn. Piplup blinked in surprise while Pikachu immediately leapt to the ground, getting into a battle pose, unsure whether this meant Croagunk was a threat or not. With a groan as the deadly poison crept through his veins, Brock collapsed to the ground in pain and humiliation, completely paralysed.

“…Huh.” Jenny remarked. “Didn’t even have to reach for the spray.”


	6. New to the Scene

Jubilife City was the epicentre of entertainment in Sinnoh, from the good to the bad, from the bland to the artsy. One could name any popular television series, Pokétch app or mildly talented pop singer and chances were that they had their origins in Jubilife. It was truly a city of opportunities, so long as one defined ‘opportunity’ as ‘get eaten up by a massive publishing company, chewed up, and then spat out the second you stopped making money’.

One of these ‘opportunities’ was the Jubilife Pokémon Contest Spectacular. As was typically the case with any event in this city, the turnout for contenders was enormous, consisting of new coordinators hoping to make a big entrance, old coordinators who had seen it all before, and a large portion of talentless hacks who thought that the rule of ‘buying your way to the top’ would apply here.

Dawn liked to think she was in the first category.

Like most of the contenders, she was training in a park not far from where the contest would be held. Ash, Pikachu, Aipom and Brock watched nearby, sitting at a park bench. She uttered an order, and with a confident cry Piplup jumped into the air and shot out a ring of bubbles, spinning around so that the bubbles would float and twirl around him.

Like the first few times she had tried before, the bubbles were too close to the penguin and popped too soon.

Also like the first few times, Piplup then fell over in a dizzy, uncoordinated mess.

“Uh…” Dawn winced. “…Good try, Piplup. Let’s, uh… try that again.”

“(Urrrrgh…)” Piplup groaned dramatically, woozily standing up.

“…I think this trick might be a bit too complicated for Piplup.” Brock said uncertainly.

“No, trust me, he can do this.” Dawn insisted. “When the contest starts in two days, you’re gonna see some amazing shit.”

“(Yeah, don’t…)” Piplup stopped for a moment to dry heave, then he slapped his fin on his chest. “(Don’t worry! I’m gonna be _awesome!_ )”

Ash pumped his fist enthusiastically. “Yeah, that’s the spiri-” He blinked. “Wait, the contest starts in two days?”

“Yeah.” Dawn said casually.

“But…” He looked at her worriedly. “But you only started training today! You’re only giving yourself two days to practice?”

“It’ll be _fine_.” It was Dawn’s turn to wave her hand dismissively. “Trust me. I don’t think I ever told you guys this, but my mum was Top Coordinator back in the day.”

Ash didn’t look any less worried. “I mean, that’s great and all, but these kinds of skills aren’t red-headery.”

Dawn stared at him.

“…You mean hereditary?” Brock suggested.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Ash replied.

“It’ll be _fine._ ” Dawn repeated. “I’ve been fantasising about this for years, I have it all planned out, and my plan starts with mastering this spinning trick. Alright Piplup, try it again!”

Piplup took a deep breath. He then jumped up into the air, spinning around and letting loose a stream of bubbles from his beak.

“Yeah, that’s it Piplup!” Dawn cheered on as he started.

“No, wait, the bubbles-” She added uncertainly as the bubbles started to pop pre-emptively.

“Okay, well…” She mumbled as Piplup fell to the ground in a disorientated mess once more.

“Hm.” She folded her arms.

“Have we tried spinning slowly?” She asked.

Up until this point, Aipom had just been watching from the side, fidgeting and bouncing up and down on her tail. After seeing this recent failure, however, she rolled her eyes, groaned, “(Oh my Arceus, let me do it!)”, and leapt onto the training field.

“Aipom?” Ash asked quizzically.

With a cry, the purple monkey bounced three metres up into the air, using her tail as a launching pad. Once airborne, she swung her tail and created a storm of star-shaped rays with Swift. The stars rotated around her like a glittering tornado, although not so much as to completely obscure the monkey. She fell to the ground, landed on her tail, then leapt up again, her hand-tail clenched into a fist. As the cloud of stars slowly descended to the ground, she swung her fist through the side, smashing apart the rays into a mist of harmless golden sparks that showered the group as they stared up in awe. The display was so spectacular that even some of the trainers who were practicing nearby paused for a moment to look at the amazing performance.

“(…I coulda done that.)” Piplup muttered.

“ _Dude!_ ” Dawn exclaimed delightedly. “That was _awesome!_ When did you teach her that?!”

“I didn’t.” Ash replied, just as surprised as everyone else. “I think she came up with that by herself.” He walked up to his primate companion, chuckling. “I forgot, you always did have an interest in contests, didn’t you?”

“(You kiddin’ boss? I _love_ contests!)” Aipom declared, jumping up and down enthusiastically. “(All that time I was hanging at Oak’s, I was coming up with combos in my spare time! I can’t get enough of contests!)”

“That much, huh?” Ash put a hand on his hip. “It’s a shame I always sucked in them.”

“(I _know!_ It’s so frustrating!)”

“Dude, you should enter in the Jubilife Contest!” Dawn said with gusto. “You and Aipom would be awesome!”

“Hm…” Ash thought about it, then shrugged. “Why not? Should be fun.”

“( _Yes!_ )” Aipom leapt into the air.

“(…Hoo boy.)” Pikachu sighed from the park bench, remembering Ash’s previous attempts at Pokémon contests.

Brock approached, nodding. “Good idea. Get out of your comfort zone and everything. Just don’t forgot to register before the contest starts.”

“Oh yeah.” Ash turned to Dawn. “Where do we go to register?”

“Oh, we just head to the Pokémon Centre-” Dawn started to say brightly.

She froze.

“Oh _shit!_ ” She cried in sudden realisation. “I completely forgot to register! _It closes at three o’clock!_ ”

Like a black-pink blur, she ran towards Piplup and quickly scooped him up before running off with a cry of, “ _I gotta get the fuck out of here!!_ ”

Brock and Ash watched her as she ran off at top speed towards the Jubilife Pokémon Centre.

Ash turned to Brock and asked, “What time is it now?”

“It’s midday.” He replied.

“Sweet.” Ash said, leisurely following after her.

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 6: New to the Scene**

* * *

_The breeze flowed pleasantly through Twinleaf Town, rustling the leaves and causing the surface of Twinleaf Lake to ripple ever so slightly. The small pool was nothing compared to Lake Verity, but Johanna thought that it gave the lake a quaint kind of beauty. The atmosphere was calm, and she felt a sense of serenity in her soul as she sat beside the ebbing waters, a fishing rod in her hands._

_“Mama,” Groaned a tiny voice from beside her, “When are we gonna catch something?”_

_“Call me ‘mum’, Dawn.” Johanna said gently. “You’re a big girl, now. And it shouldn’t be too much longer now before we get a bite.”_

_The seven-year-old girl beside her groaned dramatically once more, dressed up in white pants and a pink blouse. “But we’ve been here for so loooong! I wanna catch a fishie!” She gently kicked her fishing rod, propped up and held in place with some rocks._

_“We’ll catch a fishie soon, dear.” Johanna told her reassuringly. “Trust me. We just have to wait a little longer.”_

_In retrospect, it wasn’t the smartest of ideas to take a hyperactive little girl on a fishing trip. They had been sitting at the edge of the lake for about twenty minutes now, and most of that time had been spent listening to Dawn complain about how bored she was. They had yet to get a bite, and while Johanna respected that waiting a hundred years to catch something was part of the joy of fishing, she had a suspicion that Dawn wasn’t quite at the age to appreciate that._

_“I don’t wanna wait.” Dawn grumbled, folding her arms in an adorably argumentative way. “I want a fishie.”_

_And then, as if nature itself was sick of hearing the child complain, Dawn’s line tugged._

_“Well, look at that!” Johanna said as Dawn gasped in delight. “Looks like the fishie didn’t want to wait either!”_

_“Yay!” Dawn leapt up and grabbed the fishing rod eagerly._

_Johanna secured her own rod and moved to help her daughter, holding the rod as well. “Now, the trick is to pull back, as hard as you can. Can you do that?”_

_“Yep!” Dawn said brightly, pulling back with all the raw strength of a tiny, exercise-light infant. Johanna pulled back too, although not so hard as to yank the rod out of Dawn’s grasp._

_From the waters where the line had pierced the waters, a white-orange fish with a small horn rose from the surface, looking somewhat aggravated._

_“Look, mama!” Dawn pointed to it. “It’s a-!”_

_Before she could finish, a jet of water fired from the Goldeen’s mouth and blasted into both wannabe fishers. By reflex, they let go of the fishing rod, which was pulled from their grips and into the water. The Goldeen spat out the bait, then turned around and disappeared into the water with a mutter of, “(Goddamn cheapskates going for the no-frills crap, not even worth the hassle to get captured…)”_

_Dawn and Johanna stared at the lake where their catch and fishing rod had disappeared into._

_“Well…” Johanna said awkwardly. “That will happen sometimes.”_

_Without warning, Dawn burst into tears and started wailing._

_Johanna instantly entered panic mode, something about her daughter’s weeping triggering an intense maternal instinct within her. “Oh, no, Dawn, don’t worry! It’s okay, that just happens sometimes!”_

_“I hate this!” Dawn wailed. “It’s hard, and I don’t- I don’t like it!”_

_“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Johanna said in what she hoped was a soothing tone. “Don’t cry, don’t cry!” When Dawn failed to listen to this reasoning, she added, “Look, we don’t have to fish anymore, okay? We can go home, you don’t have to do something you don’t want to do.”_

_Dawn sniffled, looking up at her mother with big wet eyes. “R-Really?”_

_Johanna smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”_

* * *

The glass doors to the spacious Jubilife City Pokémon Centre opened up, and a breathless, haggard Dawn stumbled through them and towards the front counter. “I- I need a… _contest pass_ …!” She gasped desperately to the woman at the front counter.

Nurse Joy looked at this newcomer, bemused. “Uh… sure… I just need your trainer licence.”

“License… sure…” She panted, putting a completely confused Piplup on the counter and digging around in her bag. “Lemme just… oh jeez…”

Joy looked up at the little blue penguin, who just shrugged at her.

The rest of Dawn’s new friend group entered the centre, Pikachu on Ash’s shoulder and Brock just tagging along for the ride. Ash walked up to the counter and held out his Pokédex. “One contest pass, please!” He said brightly.

“ _No, I was here first-!”_ Dawn spluttered, spinning around before recognising who had spoken. “Oh… hey Ash.”

“Why are you out of breath?” Brock asked concernedly. “It only took us five minutes to get here.”

“I don’t have great constitution.” Dawn muttered, going back to digging around in her bag.

Nurse Joy took Ash’s Pokédex. “Hm…” She hmmed in thought. “This is quite an old model. I can still get your contest pass from this thing, but I might have to do it manually.”

“If the screen goes black while you’re doing it, you just have to hit it against something hard.” Ash said helpfully. “Usually turns it back on.”

“Here it is!” Dawn said, jumping back up excitedly. She held out her Pokédex to the nurse. “Contest pass please!”

“Ah, this is the new model.” Joy took the white-pink Pokédex and brought it down to a device on the counter. “I just have to scan it here for you.”

Dawn didn’t respond. She stared at the nurse, blinking a few times to make sure her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her.

“Nurse Joy?” She asked.

“Yes?” Joy looked up at her.

“Wait, but…” Dawn shook her head, trying to get her thoughts together. “But you were all the way back in Sandgem Town! How did you get to Jubilife before us? _Why_ did you get to Jubilife before us?”

“Oh! You must be talking about my sister. She’s the Sandgem Town Nurse Joy.” Joy explained.

“(…That certainly sounded like it was _supposed_ to be an explanation...)” Piplup said with his fins folded as Dawn stared at the woman uncomprehendingly.

Ash chose to step in with an explanation. “See, the Nurse Joy family is a family of identical twins and cousins who run the Pokémon Centres of Kanto, Johto and Hoenn.” He looked towards Joy. “And I guess Sinnoh as well, huh?”

“Oh, we’re all over the world.” Joy clarified, tapping on a keyboard in front of her. “And it’s the same with the Officer Jennies. Each of us are a massive family of sisters, cousins, extended cousins and adopted sisters who run the Pokémon Centres and police stations, each of us visually and physically indistinct from one another.”

Dawn did her best to try and process this in her head.

“That doesn’t make sense.” She said.

“I know.” Joy replied brightly, handing over two plastic cards. “Here are your contest passes!”

Before they could take the passes, Brock suddenly stepped forth apropos of nothing. “Oh, but it makes perfect sense to me, Nurse Joy! It tells me that the gods saw fit to bless the world with your beauty!”

“Uh…” Joy said with an uncertain smile on her face.

“Are you _really_ going to…?” Dawn asked in disbelief and disgust, while Ash and Pikachu merely sighed as the inevitable took place.

“But it is not just your incredible good looks that have brought me here today!” Brock continued emphatically, leaning on the counter with all the bravado of an idiot who didn’t know just how in over his head he was. “It is also your fathomless charity, your iron will to help those in need that has attracted me to you so! In that way, our souls are of the same kind, like two burning fires, two passionately beating hearts, two- _Oh God my kidneys, my one weakness!_ ”

The last part came out of his mouth because Croagunk had, at this point, decided to force his way out of his Pokéball and jab Brock in the side with his venom-tipped fingerpads, prompting cries of alarm from most others who were present as he collapsed to the ground in paralysed agony.

“…I’m not helping him.” Dawn said bluntly.

* * *

The last call Johanna had with Dawn was about four days ago, when she had apparently been in Sandgem Town. She had been noticeably haggard and tired, and when Johanna had asked her about it, she had replied, “No need to worry, I was just playing with Piplup all day! _Super_ exhausting!”

Johanna didn’t know whether it was her mother’s intuition or Dawn’s inability to lie, but she mentioned that it sounded like complete bullshit. No satisfactory explanation was given, however.

So when she heard the tone of her videophone chiming, she couldn’t help but get herself ready to be concerned.

Her daughter’s face popped up on the screen, looking much brighter and happier than the last time, with her new Piplup sitting in her lap. “ _Hey mum!_ ” She said happily, waving at the screen.

“Hello Dawn!” Johanna greeted. “Looking less haggard than Sandgem, I see!”

Dawn laughed, and Johanna easily picked up the slightly nervous edge to it. “ _Yeah… yeah, I didn’t exhaust myself playing with my Pokémon this time!_ ”

“And you’re still sure that’s how that happened?” Johanna prompted.

“… _Yeeep!_ ” Dawn strained out.

“ _…_ Alright.” Johanna said, knowing better than to pursue it. “Did you get to Jubilife City alright?”

“ _Yep! Made it all the way here with Ash and Brock over there!_ ” Dawn moved a bit to point towards two boys in the distance, one in a black-yellow vest and a red cap, and an older boy in a green-orange vest, lying on a couch in apparent pain.

 _“…_ And they are…?” Johanna asked, peering at the strangers on the screen.

“ _Oh, they’re these guys from Kanto that I met in Sandgem Town_.” Dawn replied casually.

Johanna processed this.

She took a deep breath.

“Dawn _._ ” She said calmly.

“ _Yeah?_ ” Dawn asked.

“Do you remember what I told you before you left?” Johanna asked. “About having to be more independent?”

“ _Uhh_ …” Dawn looked at her blankly. “ _How… much trouble will I be in if I say no?_ ”

“No trouble.” Johanna replied reassuringly, but not too reassuringly. “I just want to be sure that you’re being mature about your journey, that’s all.”

“ _I am being mature about this!_ ” Dawn protested. “ _I got all the way here, didn’t I?_ ”

“Dawn, Jubilife is only the first step on your journey!” Johanna told her. “I told you that you had to be responsible, that you had to be smart about what you did because it’s a big world out there, filled with people who could take advantage of you, and the first thing you do is head off on the road, _alone_ , with two boys that you’ve never met before from a completely different country! Why did you think that was a sensible idea?”

Dawn looked at her for a moment.

“ _I mean_ ,” She started, “ _Anything sounds irresponsible when you say it like that._ ”

“Dawn!”

“ _Look, it was a unique set of circumstances, alright?_ ” Dawn tried to explain. “T _rust me, they’re fine. They’re good guys, good trainers. I figured they could teach me some stuff, you know?_ ” When Johanna failed to look convinced, Dawn added, “ _Look, I’ve been travelling with them for four days. If they wanted to try anything, they would’ve tried it then._ ”

“…Alright…” Johanna said uncertainly. “Look, I don’t want this to just be another thing that you give up on when things get hard. You’ve been-”

“ _Give up on?_ ” Dawn blinked. “ _What are you talking about?_ ”

Johanna looked at her daughter incredulously. “Don’t you remember dance lessons?”

“ _What I remember is that I complained_ once _, and then you immediately took me home and didn’t let me do dance again._ ” Dawn replied defensively.

“Whatever! The point is that this has been your dream for years, and I don’t want to see it go to nothing. Just…” Johanna sighed. “I’m going to overlook this, because I trust you, but please be careful out there.”

“ _Mum, trust me._ ” Dawn said reassuringly. “ _I know what I’m doing._ ”

* * *

“ _I have no idea what I’m doing, holy FUCK._ ” Dawn groaned with her head in her hands.

It was four in the afternoon now. Dawn had spent the whole day trying in vain to perfect what she had dubbed the ‘Bubble Vortex’. No matter how much force Piplup put into the bubbles, how slowly he spun or how low his jump was, it was always end the same – with Piplup dizzily and gracelessly falling to the ground and the bubbles popping prematurely. The latest failure had sent her spiralling back into her usual fit of despondency when things didn’t go as planned, and she had taken a seat on a nearby park bench, clutching her head and muttering about how pathetic she was and how she was never going to win a single ribbon.

Buneary had been watching from sideline the entire time, patiently waiting to be trained as Dawn stubbornly stuck with the same technique that wasn’t working. Now, however, she hesitantly approached as Piplup woozily stood up from where he had been lying prone. “(Everything… alright?)” She asked the little penguin.

“(It’d probably be a lot better if she’d _trained_ me before today.)” Piplup muttered.

“(Maybe this is too hard for you.)” Buneary suggested.

“(Nothing’s too hard for me!)” Piplup snapped. “(I’m awesome! I just… need more practice.)”

“(You guys have been practicing for hours!)” Buneary protested. “(I haven’t had any practice! I need to know what I’m doing, or I’m going to suck just as much as you, and I _can’t_ look bad in front of that…)” Her face melted into a loving smile as she gazed off elsewhere. “(…That _sexy_ yellow hunk of a Pokémon…)”

Piplup looked at her uncomfortably. “(…Seriously, you only met him two days ago.)”

“You know what?” Dawn suddenly sat up, speaking with somewhat shaky confidence. “We need a break! Let’s grab some snacks!”

With that, she rummaged around in her bag, pulling out a punnet of oran berries for her Pokémon and a nut bar for herself. Buneary’s eyes lit up once she saw the berries and hopped over as Dawn opened up the plastic box containing them.

“(Heck yeah!)” Buneary cried, picking up a berry and blasting a beam of cold energy into the berry, instantly freezing it solid.

Dawn and Piplup stared at her.

“(They’re better frozen.)” Buneary explained.

“How did you do that?” Dawn said in awe. “That was an ice move!”

“(Yeah, I can use Ice Beam.)” Buneary said casually, biting into her berry.

“(How?!)” Piplup asked.

Buneary shrugged. “(I dunno.)”

“Okay… okay!” Dawn nodded. “That gives me ideas for what you can do…” She slumped. “But it doesn’t matter if we can’t master Bubble Vortex…”

Dawn sat there contemplatively, thinking to herself as her Pokémon dug into their berries, Piplup with some difficulty. The main problem was twofold – Piplup got too dizzy during the move, and the bubbles were too weak. Both problems, she figured, could be solved with enough practice and repetition, if only she had _time_ for practice and repetition. She chewed on her nut bar quickly, partly out of impatience to get training again, and partly out of stress.

Piplup, meanwhile, had underestimated just how tough the skin of an oran berry really was, trying chew on it with his beak to no avail. With a frustrated squawk, he threw the berry onto the ground and slammed his beak into it with all the force a baby penguin could muster.

Instead of the expected outcome where Piplup’s beak broke in half, his beak actually flashed white for a split second, causing the berry to explode all over his face.

“Whoa!” Dawn blinked in surprise. “Did you just learn a new move?”

“(I think that was Peck.)” Buneary said, mildly impressed.

“(Dude, these berries suck!)” Piplup cried angrily, blue berry guts all over his face. “(I had to learn Peck just to get into it, and even then it didn’t work!)”

“(Told you they’re better frozen.)” Buneary replied, getting back into her meal.

“(You have teeth! It’s easier for you!)”

Dawn paid little heed to Piplup’s angry squawking, cogs in her head suddenly moving at breakneck speed. She got a small napkin out of her bag, knelt down, and reached out to wipe the berry off her penguin’s face.

“Alright, that’s enough.” She told Piplup. “Let’s get you something softer, then get back into training. I’ve got an idea.”

* * *

Most cities didn’t have a dedicated contest hall. Contests would be held in general-purpose stadiums, the same place where local tournaments and exhibition matches would be held. Jubilife, however, was a city where successful coordinators had the decadent lifestyles of world-famous celebrities, and so when a whole group of the privileged bastards lobbied to demolish a small park for a contest hall, they got exactly what they wanted. The hall was still quite new, a marble-white stadium built like an ancient colosseum with a few modern touches, such as a great big television screen on the front, a line of small spaces where stalls and shops could be quickly set up, dumpster bins hidden in the shadows, and, of course, the patented Silph Co. Pokéball symbol, emblazoned above each entrance into the place.

There were sixteen contestants, all of them present save two, most of them sitting around in a small waiting room behind the stage with a few friends and family. Most of them were looking up at a TV screen, showing them what would be displayed to an eager television audience across Sinnoh. At the moment it displayed the Pokémon Activities Committe logo – a Pokéball placed in the middle of a ribbon. Hardly the most original icon, but it got the point across.

At around eleven o’clock, the screen blared to life, showing a woman with messy brown hair in a flowing yellow coat and a matching pink skirt and top. A microphone was in her hand, and an energetic smile was on her face. The camera panned out, showing her standing in the middle of the hall’s runway, the cheers of the surrounding audience fuelling her excited grin.

“ _Hello Jubilife City!_ ” She shouted to the crowd. “ _And welcome to the Jubilife Spring Pokémon Contest! I’m your presenter for today’s contest, Marian Filmore, welcoming all of you to the Jubilife Contest Hall! To my right is our wonderful panel of judges, who will be deciding who will get the beautiful Jubilife Ribbon!_ ”

She held up something, the camera focusing on it to reveal a gold, diamond-shaped pin with a blue ribbon tied to the bottom. The crowd went wild, clapping and cheering for no reason.

Marian hesitated. “ _I mean, it’s not special, we- we do this four times a year-_ ” She recovered and swung her hands to the judges. “ _And here are our wonderful judges! Chief of the Pokémon Activities Committee, Mr Contesta!_ ”

The man waved at the audience, wearing a bright red suit with his grey hair swept back. “ _It’s literally in the name!_ ” He said politely.

Marian’s hand moved over to the next judge, a small man in a suit and tie, hair cut short. “ _President of the Sinnoh Pokémon Fan Club, Mr Sukizo!_ ”

“ _Jubilife City is remarkable!_ ” The man declared, waving to the crowd. “ _Just like my early-onset baldness!_ ”

“ _And, of course,_ ” Marian’s hand moved to the last judge on the panel. “ _Jubilife City’s own Nurse Joy!_ ”

“ _I have more important things to do than be here!_ ” Joy proclaimed brightly as she waved.

The camera focused back on Marian as she started to explain the rules. “ _Now, there are sixteen coordinators here today, each of them competing for the Jubilife Ribbon. To get there, each coordinator must first pass the Performance Stage, where they will show off the talents and performative abilities of their Pokémon! However, only eight of these contestants will proceed to the Battle Stage, where their Pokémon will duke it out while still showing off their beauty and skill. In these battles, the judges will assign points to each battler based on how well they show off their Pokémon,_ not _by how well they battle. This means that the winner isn’t whoever knocks out the other first, it’s whoever looks the most stylish doing so!_

“ _But first, before we introduce you to our lovely contestants,”_ Marian winked at the camera. “ _A word from our sponsor – the Pokétch Company!_ ”

The screen switched to show a large man in a grey suit, a goatee and short spiky hair holding a small red watch and smiling at the camera. “ _Buy the Pokétch! It’s like the PokéNav and the PokéGear, but better!_ ”

The screen switched back to Marian. “ _And that concludes the word from our sponsor. Now, to introduce our first contestant!_ ”

Ash and Brock were sitting on one of the seats, watching the television as the first contestant stepped out onto the stage. Pikachu was napping beside them while Aipom danced around in excitement, unable to keep herself still. Soon after the contestant’s performance started, the waiting room doors opened, and Dawn stepped through.

“Hey guys!” She said breathlessly and somewhat frazzled. “Sorry I took so long, this dress was a lot harder to put on than I realised.”

Her friends turned to look at her. She was wearing a pink dress that flowed down to her knees, a large red ribbon tied around her waist and three smaller red ribbons attached higher up at the collar. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail and her white cap was gone. She looked for all the world like one of those tiny ballerinas that spun around in glass balls.

“Wow, you look nice!” Brock commented neutrally.

“Thanks!” Dawn said brightly, then she hesitantly added, “Although, I’m not sure what that means, coming from you.”

“Hey, you’re five years younger than me.” Brock said defensively. “I’m not a _complete_ deviant.”

Ash looked her and nodded. “I think it’s good too. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

Dawn giggled, blushing a little as she twirled around to show it off. “Thanks, Ash, that’s-”

“Your thighs are covered up and everything.” He added, looking her up and down.

Dawn spluttered. “I- You-!”

Ash looked at her blankly.

“…Do you even know what you just said?” Dawn asked uncertainly.

A flash on the television screen turned her attention upwards. She looked at the screen to see the camera panning out to show the entire stage was filled with a dark smoke, eerie lights flashing at random points from within the dark cloud. From within the smog, a dark silhouette of an ethereal, floating head was barely visible. Laughter came from within the cloud, chilling laughter that sent a shiver down Dawn’s spine and everyone else’s, from the looks of it. A female voice, barely audible, gave a command, and then eldritch-blue lighting crackled through the smog, ricocheting off the lights. The lights exploded in small eruptions of multicoloured sparks, dispersing the dark fog, revealing the Pokémon responsible and creating a number of fantastic, mystical fireworks.

“…Whoa.” Dawn said, stunned. “What was that?”

“That was the first contestant, Zoey… Winterberg, I think.” Brock replied. “I think they said she was from up north.”

Dawn looked at the contestant as she waved at the screen. She had spiky red hair, wore a white coat with gold embroidering and light blue pants. She had an almost noble look to her as she smiled and waved at the audience. “She’s good…” Dawn murmured, somewhat apprehensively.

“Please, she’s nothing compared to my talents.”

The three trainers looked at each other.

Then, they slowly turned around to look at who had just spoken.

Team Rocket was standing behind them – Jessie barely recognisable in what could charitably be described as a ‘country dress’ and uncharitably described as ‘the horrific amalgamation of the clothing of a medieval peasant, those terrible sexy maid outfits and Steve Urkle’s glasses’.

“What the _hell_ are you three doing here?” Dawn demanded, anxiously backing up.

“Yeah!” Ash backed her up, folding his arms. “And where’s Jessie hiding? Is she waiting to spring some kind of trap on us?”

“…Ash, that _is_ Jessie.” Brock said with forced calm.

“…Oh.”

“We’re not working today.” James sighed, Meowth sitting by his side looking miserable. “We’re only here because _she_ wants to be here.”

“I am surprised to see _you_ here, twerp.” Jessie said pointedly, looking down on Ash. “Especially given your track record with these things.”

“Urgh, let it go already!” Ash protested. “So I almost caused a fire that _one_ time-!”

“Ash, for the love of our friendship, do _not_ finish that sentence!” Dawn said desperately before turning onto Team Rocket. “And you three have _some fucking nerve_ showing up here! I have half a mind to call the police!”

Jessie raised a brow. “For what? What have we done wrong?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe you tried to kidnap our Pokémon?” Dawn snapped. “Maybe you chased us down in giant robots?!”

“Oh yes, go to the police and tell them that you’ve been harassed by two supervillains and a talking Meowth in thirty-foot-tall mechs.” James said mockingly, folding his arms. “I’m sure they’ll be opening investigations promptly.”

One of the nearby coordinators scoffed. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Ain’t it just?” Meowth agreed.

The coordinator stared at him, smile frozen upon his face.

“Face it, twerpette.” Jessie said mockingly to a seething Dawn. “Even if your story didn’t sound insane, it’d be our word against yours. There’s nothing you can pin on us.”

“I mean, we’d probably be able make a good case for crimes against fashion.” Brock said flatly.

Jessie spluttered. “Excuse me?! This dress is _prime_ fashion!”

Ash snorted. “Yeah, maybe if we were in a farm village from, like, a hundred years ago.”

“(Dude, _nice!_ )” Pikachu chuckled, standing up from where he was napping.

Dawn looked at her friends, Ash and Pikachu sharing a fist-paw bump. “How are you guys not angrier about this?” She asked.

The screen flashed as the previous contestant’s performance ended. Both groups looked up at the screen as the coordinator exited the stage and a picture of the next coordinator showed up on the screen – that of a young girl with red-pink hair and ponytails that swirled downward.

“Ah, I’m after this girl.” Jessie said, a smirk on her face. “My Sinnoh debut draws near.”

“ _You’re_ participating in the contest?” Dawn asked incredulously.

“Of course!” Jessie said gloriously. “I don’t expect a twerp to know this, but I have frequently been described as a burgeoning superstar!”

“Self-described, of course.” James added morosely.

“So, I must be off! I don’t want to be late for my first Sinnoh appearance!”

“Go right ahead.” Dawn folded her arms amusedly. “I could use something funny for my morale.”

The group watched her as she skipped out of the room, a spring in her step.

“…How much for that Meowth?” Asked the coordinator from before.

* * *

“ _And now, coming all the way from Kanto, it’s newcomer Jessilina!_ ” Marian waved her hand towards the stage entrance. Jessie emerged from within, strutting on stage with a Pokéball in her hand, a pretty smile on her face, and, for whatever bizarre reason, a giant glittering novelty lollipop across her shoulder.

The coordinators watched Jessie walk on stage from the screen, most of them curious about the newcomer. Dawn turned to James and Meowth with a raised brow and asked, “Jessilina?”

“Would you believe that she thought that was clever?” James asked.

“How did she even get in with that? You have to scan your trainer ID to get in.”

“Couldn’t tell you.” James replied coolly, looking up at the screen. “Not without consultation with my lawyer first.”

The television camera focused on Jessie as she reached the centre of the stage. With a coy movement, she let the Pokéball fall from her hand and onto the ground, where it opened up to release the manically cackling green form of Carnivine, levitating in the air.

Almost casually, Jessie threw the lollipop into the air and cried, “ _Bullet Seed!_ ”

Immediately, Carnivine opened up his mouth and released a barrage of seeds that crashed into the lollipop, causing flakes of it to break off in small, glittery explosions. Sparks of colour – mostly pink and white – floated down upon the stage, causing the crowd to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’, like the easily pleased chimpanzees they were.

With another order from Jessie, Carnivine floated up into the air, cackling wildly as the sparkling dust floated around him. There was only a single, orb-like chunk of the lollipop left, gently falling to the ground.

“ _Now, use Bite!_ ” Jessie called.

What was supposed to happen was that Carnivine would chomp down into the lollipop chunk and cause it to explode in a shower of sparks and glitter that would float down to the stage and cause the crowd to gasp in delight at how pretty it was.

What actually happened is that Carnivine laughed like a lunatic, dove down, and snapped his jaw around Jessie’s body.

One could barely hear Jessie’s scream of pain over the gasps from the crowd and the manic chewing of Carnivine. By some coincidence, the lollipop chunk fell directly on top of the crazed flytrap, who held the chunk aloft in the vines that swirled around on the bottom of his body.

“ _Well, would you look at that!_ ” Marian announced from off-screen as Carnivine held the lollipop and rotated it around. “ _It seems like that chomp was part of the Jessilina’s routine! What a unique performance!_ ”

One could barely hear Jessie’s weak, but happy whimper over the clapping of the crowd and the insane gnawing of Carnivine. She waved towards where she thought the crowd was, perhaps consoling herself with the knowledge that even though the performance didn’t go as she planned it and even though she was in a lot of pain, the contest was still on television, broadcast to the entirety of Sinnoh, and thus was one step closer to becoming a household name.

“ _Unfortunately,_ ” Marian added. “ _Due to restrictions on what we can present on network television, we can’t show you folks at home the uniqueness of this performance. Instead, you’ll have to make do with this hastily drawn artist’s rendition!_ ”

The screen changed briefly to show a drawing of a brown stick figure with a green Pac-Man with tentacles on its head, drawn on what appeared to be a napkin.

“ _Give it up for Jessilina, everybody!_ ” Marian cried to the crowd.

One could barely hear Jessie’s shriek of rage over the cheers of the crowd and the mad munching of Carnivine.

Back in the backstage room, the coordinators were all muttering and murmuring to themselves about the latest performance, Dawn and Brock in particular still reeling in shock. Ash turned from the screen to the other two Team Rocket members in the room and asked uncertainly, “Is… is she gonna be okay?”

“What, Jessie?” James said casually. “She’ll be fine.”

There was a pause.

A hint of concern appeared on James’s face. “…We should probably go and check up on her, though.”

* * *

One-by-one, the contestants went up on stage and performed their tricks. With a few exceptions – who knew that trying to train a Slowpoke to do backflips would turn out to be so dull? – the coordinators on display were all quite talented. A knot grew in Dawn’s stomach as she watched the these clearly talented performers, a knot that grew in size whenever the judges would lend their praise and the crowd would go wild with cheering.

“Oh!” Ash stood up about halfway through the competition. “I think I’m after this guy.”

Brock looked to Ash. “You know what you’re doing?”

“Well…” Ash winced. “Aipom knows what she’s doing. That’s as good as I’m gonna get.”

“I think you’ll do great!” Dawn said brightly, trying to ignore the rising nervousness in her gut.

“I always try to assume as much!” Ash gave her thumbs up as he headed out. “Pikachu, you coming with?”

“(You’re only allowed one Pokémon.)” Pikachu reminded him.

“Oh, right. See you guys, make sure to cheer for us!”

Dawn and Brock wished him luck as he left the dressing room and made for the stage. Within the next few minutes, Marian announced that he was up next. He looked completely out of place in his trainer’s jacket and cap, at least compared to the suits, dresses and other costumes worn by the other coordinators. In fact, one of coordinators nearby sneered, “Who does this _peasant_ think he is, coming here in _peasant_ attire?”

“Hey!” Dawn turned the guy angrily. “Clothing doesn’t make the coordinator, Mr ‘I Can’t Train My Slowpoke To Do So Much As Roll Over’!”

As the heckler withered back, humiliated and wittering something inane, Dawn turned to Brock and asked, “Why isn’t Ash wearing a costume?”

“Because he’s poor.” Brock replied bluntly.

“Hm. That’s valid.”

The performance was more or less the same as the one Aipom had used to show off the other day. She leapt into the air and created a tornado of glittering golden stars with Swift. Instead of immediately shattering them, however, the monkey then seemed to split herself into ten or so illusory duplicates that surrounded the storm of stars. Each duplicate swung the fist on the end of their tails into the tornado, causing the stars to break off and scatter across the arena. Whenever a star would hit one of the duplicates, both the star and the duplicate would disperse into golden dust that fell upon the stage, creating a shining yellow mist that dispersed as Aipom landed upon the stage and gave a cute little bow to the audience.

The knot in Dawn’s stomach grew.

“ _What a spectacular performance from newcomer Ash Ketchum!_ ” Marian said to the delighted crowd. “ _Give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen!_ ”

“(Huh. That went better than expected.)” Pikachu commented as the crowd cheered. “(Didn’t even set anything on fire this time.)”

“Impressive. Aipom must have really been training for this.” Brock said thoughtfully. He turned to Dawn. “Do you know when you go on?

“…Dawn?” He asked when he realised Dawn wasn’t there anymore.

* * *

As it happened, Dawn had retreated to the changing rooms. She sat in front one of the mirrors, anxiously brushing, tying, and re-tying her hair, muttering a quiet yet consistent string of curses as she did so.

“Why did I think I was ready for this?” She whispered stressfully. “Why did I think I was ready for this? Why did I think I was ready for this? Why- gah!” In her frantic movements, she had somehow managed to untie her hair. Growling, she tried to tie it back. “Crap, crap, crap…”

It really was incredible what a little bit of stress did to one’s abilities. Even though Dawn had previously been able to tie her hair inside a couple of minutes, she now found it had become one of those impossible tasks, like lifting a car or finding a rational opinion on the internet. So engrossed was she in desperately redoing her hairdo that she didn’t notice the person walking up behind her until they spoke.

“Hey.”

Dawn blinked and looked in the mirror. Behind her was an older girl in a white coat and pants, with gold embroidering upon the front. Her hair was cut short, dyed a deep red and swept to the side, and she had a confident, friendly smile on her face.

“Need some help?” Zoey asked.

“Thank you, yeah.” Dawn replied immediately. “I just need it tied back, like a…”

“I got it.” Zoey walked up and got to work, looking at her through the mirror. “First time?”

Dawn laughed nervously. “What gave it away? The swearing or the panic attack?”

“Actually, it was the way you looked like you were about to pass a gall stone back in the break room.”

“Yep, that’d do it.” Dawn sighed. “I thought I’d go the first contest I came across, but I’m starting to think I might be over my head.”

“Yeah, everyone feels like that in the first contest.” Zoey replied as she adjusted the hair tie. “My first contest, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack at any moment.” She paused. “Zoey Winterburg, by the way.”

“Dawn Berlitz.” Dawn replied. “So, you’ve done-?”

“Whoa, hold on.” Zoey blinked. “As in ‘Johanna Berlitz?’”

“…Yeeeeep.”

“Yikes. No wonder you’re nervous.” Zoey finished up tying Dawn’s hair back.

“Nah, I’m not- I’m not afraid that I won’t be as good as my mum or anything, I… that’s _crazy_.” Dawn stood up, trying not to betray her nervousness. “Uh, so… how many contests have you done?”

“This is my fourth.” Zoey replied, a hand on her hip. “I won the Eterna City Contest in March, but I didn’t get very far in the others.”

“Wow…” Dawn murmured. “So you’re, like, actually experienced.”

Zoey shrugged. “Eh, I’m not the best. But I know enough to know a good coordinator when I see one.”

Dawn laughed again. “Kinda counting Torchic’s before they hatch, aren’t you?”

“No, I mean it.” Zoey said emphatically, giving Dawn pause. “Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of coordinators. The ones who do the best are always the ones who think they’re going to do the worst, while the ones that don’t get past the performance round tend be the ones with their heads up their asses.” Zoey wrinkled her nose. “Like that guy with the Slowpoke.”

“I know, right? It was like, a really slow, really boring train wreck.”

“You’re gonna do fine.” Zoey said confidently. “Your mum doesn’t need to be a Top Coordinator for me to know that.” She walked away, clapping Dawn on the shoulder and giving her a wink as she did. “See you in the battle round.”

“…O-Okay!” Dawn replied. “Thanks, Zoey!”

As Zoey left, Dawn felt her smile become a bit more genuine, and the knot in her stomach loosened a bit.

 _Wow…_ She thought to herself. _What a friendly girl…_

 _…A really friendly girl._ She thought again.

She thought about a little more.

“…Oh God, am I being groomed?!” She said aloud.

* * *

The stage lit up.

“ _Our next contestant is somewhat of a legacy admission_.” Marian’s voice carried over the crowd. “ _Daughter of Johanna Berlitz, Sinnoh’s Top Coordinator of 1983, everyone please give it up for… Dawn!_ ”

The curtains parted.

Backstage, Dawn took a deep breath to calm her nerves before stepping out.


	7. Dawn of a Rivalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned: This is a long one.

_Johanna winced as Dawn played another wrong note._

_The other kids in the music class lowered their violins and turned to look as her daughter once more started to bawl at the top of her lungs, collapsing in a heap in the middle of the assembly stage. Johanna closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, fully aware of the glances that the surrounding mothers were currently giving her. She was getting quite sick of all this judgement. She kept telling people that Dawn was a sensitive child, that she needed more patience than the others, but_ apparently _it just wasn’t ‘normal’ for a nine-year-old to be acting like this._

_She heard one of the mothers whisper, “Uh, Johanna… do you-?”_

_“_ Yes _, Amber, I’ve got it.” Johanna replied quickly, forcing a smile. She made her way over to where her daughter was sobbing, the music instructor trying in vain to console her. Swiftly, she excused the teacher, pulled her daughter up and took her over to the side, away from the other children and mothers._

_Once she was over to the side, she put her hand on Dawn’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly. “Dawn, are you really_ that _upset?”_

_Her daughter suddenly stopped crying, blinking a bit in confusion. Then, she shook her head and quietly said, “…No…”_

_Johanna knelt down so that she was on eye level with Dawn. “Then why are you crying so much?”_

_Dawn didn’t say anything, looking down at the ground._

_“Are you embarrassed?” Johanna guessed._

_“…I don’t like it when people see me do it wrong.” Dawn mumbled._

_Johanna sighed, having guessed as much. “Dawn, it’s okay to have a bit of a sulk at home, because it’s just you and me. But when you’re in public like this, you need to act like a big girl! Can’t you do that for me?”_

_Dawn looked down at the ground again._

_“…Do you want to wait for a little bit before trying again?” Johanna asked._

_“It’s really haaaaard!” Dawn whined, stamping her foot. “I don’t like getting it wrong!”_

_“I know, Dawn. But if you practice-”_

_“I don’t wanna do it anymore.” Dawn said suddenly. She looked up at her mother with wet eyes and asked, “Can I quit?”_

_This gave Johanna pause. She looked at her daughter, then towards the group of children, bringing their violins back up. She looked at the mothers, standing to the side and admiring their children._

_She looked back at Dawn. “Do you like music?” She asked._

_Dawn shook her head. “No… I don’t think so…”_

_Johanna gave it a moment’s thought._

_“…Okay.” She said simply._

_Dawn sniffled again, rubbing her eyes. “I’m sorry, mum…”_

_“Don’t be, sweetie. You’re not in trouble.” Johanna said soothingly, bringing Dawn in for a hug. “It’s okay. After all, if you don’t enjoy doing something, then it isn’t worth doing.”_

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 7: Dawn of a Rivalry**

* * *

Johanna wasn’t much of a television person. Most of the programs that came out of Jubilife – or most television stations, for that matter – were generic, run-of-the-mill sitcoms and reality shows that were still using the same tired formula that had been devised by some joyless television producer some fifty years ago. However, given that Dawn was currently participating in a contest in a completely different city, she was willing to put aside her bias and turn on the old plastic box to watch her daughter’s first performance.

“Alright Grace.” Johanna said, sitting on the couch as the last contestant finished up. “That was the fourteenth coordinator. Dawn should be stepping on stage soon.”

Beside her, a thin grey cat-like Pokémon with a spring-like tail laid in that pleasant state between sleep and consciousness. It opened a single eye and peered blearily at the television screen.

After a couple of moments, the announcer in the yellow coat stepped back onto the stage, the camera focusing on her. “ _Our next contestant is somewhat of a legacy admission_.” She announced to the crowd. “ _Daughter of Johanna Berlitz, Sinnoh’s Top Coordinator of 1983, everyone please give it up for… Dawn!_ ”

“Oh, yeah.” Johanna muttered as the crowd cheered and the curtains parted. “That’ll be sure to calm her nerves.”

From the curtains, her daughter stepped out onto the stage. Dressed in that pink dress they had bought together a while ago, her hair tied back into a ponytail, she had the face of someone who knew precisely what they were doing, someone who was confident that when their Pokéball opened up, the crowd would be nothing but putty in their hands.

It was a bluff that Johanna was well acquainted with.

The camera changed position, focusing on Dawn’s hand as she took out a Pokéball and threw it onto the stage, releasing a bright white light that materialised into a small, plump blue penguin. The Piplup landed in the middle of the stage, chirping happily to the crowd. Then, with an order from Dawn, it took a deep breath, and then began to puff. From its beak, a single water bubble was blown out in front of it, about as large as Johanna’s hairdo.

The bubble floated upward, away from the penguin. Dawn gave it another order, and the penguin tensed up. Then, like a missile, it sprung upwards and pierced the bubble with its beak. The bubble exploded in a show of water droplets, glistening in the sunlight. As Piplup fell down, a brief rainbow revealed itself in the cloud of moisture, falling upon the flightless bird as it landed on its feet. Then, their performance done, Piplup and Dawn bowed before the audience, and a round of applause sounded through the contest hall.

“…Hm.” Johanna leaned back in her couch as the announcer appeared back on the screen. “Simple and elegant. Not a bad idea for a first performance.” She turned to the Glameow by her side. “What do you think, Grace?”

“(I don’t care.)” The Glameow replied.

“Yeah, I think it was a smart play.” Johanna nodded. “Still, she can’t rely on that forever. I hope she has something else up her sleeve.”

“(She’s not going to win this.)”

“Mmm…” Johanna nodded. “I reckon she can win this.”

* * *

Dawn stepped through the doors into the waiting room in a daze, Piplup in her arms. She took a deep breath, then gasped, “Holy _fuck_.”

She stumbled over to where Brock and Ash were, taking a seat on the cushioned bench next to Pikachu. While the other coordinators in the room were looking up at the screen at the last coordinator, Dawn’s friends were looking at her.

“Dude, your performance was awesome!” Ash gushed. “The way that Piplup just popped that bubble and made that rainbow was so cool!”

“Dude, that performance _sucked._ ” Dawn groaned. “It was way too short, it was way too simple, there’s no way I’m getting into the second round.”

“What? Dawn, don’t talk like that, you did everything right!”

“How can you say that after I did everything wrong?”

“(Ah, yes. The eternal battle between optimism and pessimism.)” Pikachu quipped.

“Dawn, you did fine.” Brock said reassuringly. “I see that you decided not to go with the bubble tornado, though.”

Dawn shook her head. “Yeah, there was no way we were going to get that move done in time. Bubble is just too weak of a move for it. The bubbles kept popping way too early, and they didn’t go far enough. But then I… uh, I thought, ‘what would happen if we just made one big bubble’? And then we did and, uh… it, like, worked much better.”

There was quiet for a moment.

“Well, I think it was pretty cool.” Ash said. “Especially Piplup. He’s pretty strong for his age!”

Dawn’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Exercising that kind of control over a move, even a weak move like Bubble, is quite impressive for a young Pokémon.” Brock explained. “I mean, he’s a starter Pokémon, so he’s naturally stronger, but it’s still a noteworthy feat.”

“Huh…” Dawn looked down at Piplup, smiling again. “You hear that, Piplup? You’re strong!”

“(Of course, I am!)” Piplup slapped his fin on his chest proudly. “(Because I’m awesome!)”

“(Yeah, don’t hold your head up too high, kid.)” Pikachu cautioned. “(Everyone thinks they’re awesome until they get flattened by an opponent they thought they could take.)”

“(Like that Elekid?)” Piplup challenged.

Pikachu narrowed his eyes.

“(Yeah, like that Elekid.)” The mouse said coldly. “(Thanks for bringing that up again.)”

“ _Alright, folks!_ ” The television screen announced, prompting the gang to look up towards it. “ _The last contestant has finished up, which means the judges will soon be convening to make their final decision! We’ve seen a whole bunch of talented coordinators today, and I’m sure it’ll be a hard decision to decide who goes onto the next round!”_

On the screen, a man in a light blue shirt approached the announcer. He whispered something in her ear, she nodded, and the man disappeared off the screen.

“ _I’ve just been informed that the judges have already come to a decision!_ ” She said brightly. “ _That was… very quick. We’ll reveal who went on and who’s staying behind in a moment, but first… a word from one of our sponsors!_ ”

The screen changed, showing a ‘G’ symbol on a white background beside a man with a dark suit, a blue tie, and spiky blue hair. “ _Galaxy Contracting Solutions._ ” He said, a dark, menacing edge to his voice. “ _We’re a legitimate business._ ”

The screen switched back to the announcer. “ _And that concludes the message from our sponsor. Now, the winners of the first round!_ ”

The screen changed to a dark screen. Then, one-by-one, portraits of each successful coordinator was displayed to the viewers. The first picture was some guy that Dawn didn’t recognise. The second was Zoey, and her shock of red hair. The third was another girl that Dawn didn’t recognise.

The fourth picture was Dawn’s.

“Alright, Dawn!” Ash cheered victoriously as Dawn gasped. “You made it!”

“Oh… oh, I was gonna have a heart attack there… oh, boy…” Dawn murmured in relief.

“Oh!” Ash blinked as the next picture was revealed. “I made it too… how did that happen?”

“Never mind how you got through, how did _Jessie_ get through?” Brock asked incredulously as the last coordinator was revealed.

“Because I’m a _diva!_ ” Jessie snapped, surprising the gang with her sudden appearance just as much as she did with her horrible dress and the fact that she seemed perfectly fine after Carnivine’s bite. “Besides, it’s not as if the competition was formidable.”

The screen changed to show the matchups for the battle rounds. The second round had Dawn battling against one of the coordinators she didn’t know, Jessie against some other random person, two random people up against each other, and… Ash versus Zoey.

For some reason, Dawn felt a little torn.

“Oh hey, I’m up against that girl at the start.” Ash noticed. “Uh… what was her name? Joey?”

“Zoey, actually.” Spoke up a voice from behind them.

Dawn turned around with Ash and Brock to see Zoey – the confident, friendly redhead that Dawn was about fifty percent sure had been hitting on her a mere ten minutes ago.

“Hey, Dawn.” Zoey nodded towards her. “Loved your performance out there. Very elegant.”

“T-Thanks!” Dawn replied. “I, uh… I’m sure I could’ve done better, though.”

“Yeah, but that’s true of anything.” Zoey shrugged. “I think you did great. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.” She turned to Ash. “Uh, you’re the guy with the Aipom? Ash, wasn’t it?”

“Yep!” Ash replied happily. “My performance wasn’t as good as Dawn’s, though.”

“Eh. It was fine.” Zoey looked him up and down, frowning. “How come you’re not dressed up?”

“Because I’m poor.”

“…Fair enough.” She smiled at him, turning to walk away. “Looking forward to our match.” She paused as she walked off, turning towards Dawn. “Oh, Dawn?”

“Yeah?” Dawn replied.

Zoey winked at her. “See you in the semifinals.”

Dawn watched as Zoey walked back into the crowd. She was now sixty percent sure that Zoey was hitting on her.

“…She’s nice.” Ash commented politely.

“Yeah, she’s pretty cute.” Dawn murmured.

There was silence for a moment. Piplup looked up at her in disbelief.

“Cool!” Dawn suddenly corrected herself, blushing in embarrassment. “I- I meant to say she’s pretty cool! That’s… that’s what I meant.”

Brock looked at Dawn confusedly. “I thought you liked guys?”

“I can like both.” Dawn retorted defensively.

“…I should probably head over to the battlefield.” Ash said, scratching his head awkwardly. “I think my battle comes up second.”

Dawn looked up towards the screen. “Yeah, and mine’s third.”

“And _mine’s_ fourth!” Jessie crowed, James and Meowth hovering behind her uncertainly as if they didn’t quite know what they were doing here. “A shame that you don’t get to learn from my talents earlier, but what can you do?”

“God, you’re insufferable.” Dawn groaned, glaring up at the older woman. “Are you only here to flaunt your ego?”

“I’m still not convinced you three aren’t doing something illegal behind the scenes.” Brock said, looking at the three suspiciously.

“ _Please_.” Jessie waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t need to rig the contest or bribe the judges to win. I’m fabulous on my own!”

“…I mean, we _were_ gonna sell fake Pokéball seals outside.” Meowth admitted. “But we couldn’t afford a permit.”

“Tragic.” Dawn said coolly before turning her attention back to Ash. “Now, Ash, contest battles are different from normal battles.”

Ash nodded. “Right.”

“You have to make your moves look stylish while you’re using them. You can’t just whale on them until they faint.”

“With you so far.”

“Honestly, it’s more like a dance, rather than a battle. Even if you knock the other Pokémon out, you can still lose if you have less points than Zoey.”

“Dawn, don’t worry.” Ash said reassuringly. “I’ve been training Pokémon for a while. I can handle myself.”

“I know, I know.” Dawn smiled sheepishly. “Well, you sound like you have it down pat, so…”

“Hold on a moment.” Brock stepped forward, levelling a glance at Ash. “Ash, what’s your game plan?”

“I’ma whale on her Pokémon until it faints.” Ash replied brightly.

“ _What?_ ” Dawn cried, Brock facepalming beside her. “Ash, weren’t you listening to me?”

“Of course I was!” Ash replied defensively. “You said that I have to make my moves look stylish!”

“Okay, what did I say next?”

“That it was more of a dance than a battle.”

“And what did she say after that?” Brock pressed.

“That I’ll win if knock the other Pokémon out.”

“No-” Dawn spluttered. “Ash, that was _literally_ the opposite of what I just said! You can still lose after a knockout if you have less points than Zoey!”

“Exactly! So, I’ll just knock them out so I can win!”

“I- Ash, _it doesn’t matter if you knock them out_. What matters is having more points!”

Ash scratched his head in frustration. “Okay, this is weird. It’s like, you’re saying words, but they’re not adding up in a way that makes sense to me!”

“Oh my God, I’m saying that you can’t treat this like a normal battle! You don’t win by knocking out the opponent!”

“That’s what I’m saying! It’s just like a normal battle!”

“ _It’s nothing like a normal battle!_ ” Dawn snapped, frustrated beyond belief. “It-!”

She stopped herself. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.

“Alright.” She said. “You win a contest battle by earning points.”

“Okay.” Ash said, annoyed.

“And you earn points by making moves look stylish.” Dawn continued slowly.

“Okay.”

“At the end of the battle, the winner is whoever has the most points.”

“Okay…”

“And you don’t get any points from knocking out the other Pokémon.”

“Okay…”

“So, theoretically, if the other opponent has more points than you, and you knock out their Pokémon and end the battle…”

“Yeah?”

“…Then your opponent would win, because they still have more points than you.”

Ash frowned. “But… how many points would knocking out their Pokémon get me.”

Dawn stared at him. “… _Zero_ , Ash. Zilch.”

Ash blinked slowly, staring right through her. “So… what you’re saying… is that even if I win… I can still lose?”

Dawn looked at him apprehensively. “I… yes?”

Ash put a hand on his chin, looking thoughtful, troubled and confused.

“…Can you explain it to me again?” He asked.

“(Oh my _God_ , Ash!)” Pikachu cried as Dawn almost screeched in fury. “(Just don’t knock the guy out and make your moves look good!)”

“Okay, alright, I think I got it.” Ash nodded quickly, looking at the time. “Uh, I should go backstage. I’ll see you guys after the battle, make sure you cheer for me!”

The gang watched as Ash took off, Brock letting loose a sigh, Dawn clutching her hair in anxiety, Pikachu rubbing his brow in exasperation, and Team Rocket just standing there, largely forgotten.

“…I can’t believe we consistently lose to that kid.” James remarked.

* * *

“ _Alright, folks!_ ” The announcer declared over the loudspeaker. “ _Next up, we have Zoey Winterburg of Snowpoint City, winner of the Eterna City Spring Contest, up against newcomer Ash Ketchum! Both contestants showed off the raw power and skill of their Pokémon in the first round, and things are looking to get heated!_ ”

Ash smirked in his trademark cocky style, taking out Aipom’s Pokéball from his belt. On the opposite side of the dirt field, he saw Zoey do the same, a calm and confident smile on her face. On the side of the battlefield, the three judges sat in their booth, a large screen behind them that displayed their faces and their scores – both currently at zero points.

“ _Contestants, release your Pokémon!_ ”

“Aipom, I choose you!” Ash declared, throwing out the Pokéball and releasing the sparking white energy that formed into the small purple monkey. Aipom landed on Ash’s side of the battlefield, balancing on her tail and grinning excitedly.

“(Let’s do this, boss!)” She cried.

“Curtain call, Snowflake!” Zoey announced, throwing out a Pokéball. It opened up, releasing energy that formed into a lithe, grey cat with a springy tail and white dots upon its body. Ash frowned and pulled out his Pokédex to give it a quick scan.

The device decided to crash after displaying the information for five seconds, but Ash managed to get the basics. Glameow, normal type, known for its speed. The Glameow picture on the Pokédex entry didn’t have the white spots that Zoey’s Glameow had, though.

“ _Alright, contestants!_ ” The announcer declared, throwing her hand into the air from the central stage. “ _You have five minutes to gain as many points as you can! Let the battle begin!_ ”

“Alright, Aipom!” Ash ordered immediately. “Let’s use-!”

“Fake Out!” Zoey shouted.

Before Ash or Aipom could do anything, Zoey’s Glameow zoomed forward and slapped Aipom across the face, stunning her. On the board, Zoey’s points rose by 10 points.

Ash gritted his teeth in annoyance. “Really don’t like that move. Aipom, half-power Swift!”

Aipom shook her head to clear it. Scowling, the monkey jumped into the air and swung her tail around, summoning a tornado of glimmering stars. The Glameow couldn’t get out of the way in time and was knocked back. Even at half power, the Glameow seemed almost completely destroyed by the attack, and was struggling to get up. On the board, Ash’s points rose by 20 points.

“Snowflake!” Zoey cried in alarm. “Are you alright?”

“(I- I’m fine!)” Snowflake growled, shaking her head.

“Alright, Shadow Claw! Go for those stars!”

Snowflake leapt forth, dark energy shrouding over her claws in a wickedly sharp shape. The Glameow started slashing apart the stars, destroying each of them in bursts of golden light. It was an admittedly pretty display, and Ash could see her points rising on the screen from the corner of his eye.

“Aipom, Double Team!” He ordered. The monkey immediately split into several illusory duplicates, and he saw his own score rise by a couple of points.

“Shadow Claw on the duplicates!” Zoey ordered.

Snowflake leapt up and started carving apart the illusions, each of them dissipating in bursts of smoke. Zoey’s score kept rising.

“ _Now!_ Focus Punch!” Ash ordered.

The remaining illusions drew their tails back, preparing to strike. Snowflake seemed to realise what was about to happen, slashing at the illusions with an air of desperation. Suddenly, the illusions rushed her, slamming their tails into her. All the illusions disappeared as Snowflake was thrown backwards into the dirt, completely and utterly unconscious, leaving Aipom smirking victoriously, landing on the field.

“Yes!” Ash grinned. “I knocked her out! And that means I-!”

Ash blinked. “Wait.”

“ _And the battle’s over!_ ” The announcer declared to a stunned and slightly confused audience. “ _And with a lead of 60 points over 35, Zoey wins! That was… certainly an interesting decision on Ash’s part._ ”

Ash said nothing as the audience started clapping apprehensively, Zoey looking completely thrown on the other side of the field. Aipom blinked a couple times as she realised what had happened. When she did, she slowly turned to look back at her master with a death glare.

“( _Boss._ )” She growled.

Back in the waiting room, the gang stared at the screen in varying states of exasperation. Pikachu signed in resignation, Brock rubbed his eyes in frustration, and Dawn just stared at the picture of Ash on the screen, a sinking feeling developing in the pit of her stomach as she realised that her crush wasn’t exactly playing with a full deck of cards.

“…I, uh…” Dawn muttered, starting to walk away. “I’m gonna… go prepare for my battle.”

“Yeah.” Brock nodded.

* * *

“(And I was all excited and everything. Y’know, ‘cause we had finally gotten to the second round of a contest? And then you just screw us _both_ over?)”

“Hey, you didn’t know either!”

“(Boss, _you’re_ the trainer! _I’m_ the Pokémon! You’re the guy who’s supposed to know the rules!)”

“I know, I know! I just…”

The doors opened, and Ash stopped arguing with his Pokémon.

The other coordinators stared at him for a couple of moments.

Ash cleared his throat and quietly made his way over to Brock and Pikachu, neither of whom looked impressed with him.

“…Okay, Aipom’s been chewing me out since the battle ended.” Ash muttered once everyone else’s attention drifted elsewhere. “Can we not do the ‘why did you think that was a good idea’ thing?”

“(Do it.)” Aipom said intensely. “(Make him feel it.)”

Brock sighed. “I just… did you not know that you had less points than her or something?”

“I dunno, I… kinda forgot the rules.” Ash shrugged. “I’m not good with remembering complicated things, you know.”

“(It was one concept.)” Pikachu said flatly.

“Look, I’ve _never_ gotten the hang of these!” Ash said defensively. “I’m much better on a gym field, you guys _know_ that!”

“So, I take it you’re not a coordinator, then?”

All four pairs of eyes turned to Zoey, standing nearby with her arms crossed and her gaze focused squarely on Ash. While her expression wasn’t overtly hostile, it wasn’t exactly friendly, either.

“Well?” She asked, a slightly demanding edge to her voice.

“…I’m not gonna lie, I’m only really here because of my Aipom.” Ash said simply. “She thought it looked fun.”

“(It _was_ fun, up ‘till the point where you screwed us.)” Aipom muttered.

“…Hm.” Zoey frowned, a sound of irritation coming from her lips.

“…Is that bad?” Ash asked.

“I mean, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little annoyed.” Zoey replied. “I mean, how would you feel if I, a complete amateur at competitive battles, just waltzed into a gym because it ‘looked fun’?”

“…I mean, it _is_ fun.”

Zoey narrowed her eyes, as if trying to figure out if he was making fun of her.

She exhaled, relenting. “Well, credit where it’s due. You’ve clearly raised your Aipom well.”

“Thanks.” Ash scratched the purple monkey under her chin. “Your Glameow isn’t half bad either. Her speed was something else!”

Zoey chuckled, a smile returning to her face. “Yeah, she’s my main. One of my best.”

Her eyes flicked up towards the screen as the announcer spoke up again. Ash turned to look as well, watching as the camera panned out to show a Buneary unleashing an artic-blue beam of cold energy upon the ground, freezing over the entire battlefield. It landed on the ice, and the camera began to follow it as it skated elegantly across the battlefield, nimbly dodging the attacks of a rather perplexed Shinx.

“Woah. Dawn’s Buneary knows Ice Beam?” Ash asked.

“Seems like it.” Brock nodded.

“Man, that’s so unexpected, and therefore cool!” Ash proclaimed. “Isn’t that cool, Pikachu?”

“(Yeah, it is pretty impressive.)” Pikachu muttered. “(I would probably be even more impressed if she wasn’t a terrifying sexual deviant.)”

Zoey glanced between Ash and the television screen, currently showing Dawn standing on one side of the battlefield. “So…” She began slowly. “How do you know Dawn?”

“Met her in Sandy Town about a week ago.” Ash replied casually, still watching the television.

“Sandgem Town.” Brock corrected.

“Met her in Sandgem Town about a week ago.” Ash repeated.

“And you’re just friends, right?”

Ash looked at her blankly. “…What else would we be?”

Zoey shrugged innocently. “Just wondering if she’s taken.”

“…Taken?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh… by what?”

Zoey paused, then looked at him. “What?”

“Like, taken by what? ‘Cause… she’s still there.” Ash pointed at the screen. “She hasn’t gone anywhere.”

Zoey stared at him.

“Or… is it, like, a phrase for something?” Ash looked between Pikachu and Brock. “Do you guys know?”

“Uhhhh…” Brock uh’d awkwardly.

“(Ummm…)” Pikachu um’d apprehensively.

“Do you really not know what I’m talking about?” Zoey asked uncertainly.

“…Should I?” Ash asked.

The two teenagers looked at each other blankly.

“I reckon Dawn should train Aipom.” Zoey said, returning her attention to the television.

Ash blinked. “What?”

“Or at least, you should lend your Aipom to her for contests.” Zoey rectified. “After all, you said your Aipom liked contests, right? Dawn would probably give her a better opportunity to participate.”

“…I dunno if that’d be a good idea.” Ash replied. “Maybe after Aipom gets to know her a little bit better.”

“(Yeah, I don’t think I’ll really like her until she has at least four gym badges.)” Aipom agreed. Then she frowned. “(Or… whatever the equivalent is in contest ribbons.)”

The match lasted about two minutes, both trainers even up until the end, where Buneary landed a good Dizzy Punch, confusing the opponent’s Shinx into submission. Pressing the advantage, Dawn knocking out the Shinx, landing a win with a lead of thirty points. She returned to the waiting room with a happier glow than she had had after the performance round.

“Hey.” Zoey smiled at her as she approached, a hand on her hip. “Nice work out there.”

“Yeah, you were much more confident out there.” Brock added supportively.

“Thanks, guys.” Dawn laughed. “Me and Buneary practiced really hard for this round.” Her gaze turned to Ash, and her smile faltered. “And, uh…”

“Look, I just got into the zone, I didn’t-” Ash started to say defensively.

“It’s fine.” Dawn sighed. “You tried your best. And that’s… that’s all that matters.”

“Oh.” Ash blinked. “Uh, well, yeah. All that matters is-”

“Even though you _immediately_ forgot the rules.”

“…Thanks.”

“I’d say.” Jessie spoke up, having just arrived from behind with her hideous cowgirl-maid outfit. “I don’t suppose any of you future _losers_ noticed that I just won my battle?”

“No. We didn’t.” Brock said flatly. “Because we don’t care for you.”

“…And here I thought you were the nice one.” Jessie muttered.

The television screen changed to show the match brackets. The pictures of the coordinators who lost were greyed out, and the pictures of the coordinators who had won moved up the brackets, settling next to the opponent they were going to face in the third round.

To Dawn’s terror, she was going up against Zoey. And she was going first.

“Well, well.” Zoey smirked. “Looks like we’ll be going up against each other.”

“Uh…” Dawn said uncertainly.

“Don’t look so scared. You’ll do fine.” Zoey winked. “Just don’t go easy on me, okay?”

“I’ll, uh… I’ll try my best!” Dawn grinned with false confidence.

“Same.” Zoey turned and gestured towards the door. “Shall we?”

Dawn swallowed her nervousness, following after her.

* * *

_“Okay, mum! I’m gonna head off to dance class!”_

_Johanna looked up from her laptop, smiling encouragingly at her thirteen-year-old daughter. She was wearing a cute pink dance dress, a red backpack, expensive white shoes and a bright, enthusiastic grin. “Okay, Dawn. Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you off?”_

_“Nah, I can walk.” Dawn shrugged. “I’m not carrying much, anyway.”_

_“Alright. I’ll see you at three?”_

_“Yep! I can’t wait to do this!” Dawn jumped up and down in excitement. “I’m gonna learn how to dance, and then I’m gonna dance with my Pokémon, and then I’m gonna be a famous coordinator, just like you!”_

_“Well, first step is not to be late. It starts in twenty minutes, remember?”_

_“I know! I’m not gonna be late for this!” Dawn giggled, opening the door. “See you later!”_

_“Bye, sweetie!” Johanna called after her. “Don’t get too scared on your first day, you hear?”_

_“No need to worry!” Dawn called back as she ran outside._

_A couple of hours passed. Johanna finished up her work, unloaded the dishwasher, and was now relaxing on the couch, reading a book. The sound of the door opening up and the carefree humming of her daughter prompted her to look up. She smiled at Dawn as she walked in, clearly in pleasant spirits._

_“Hi, mum!” Dawn greeted cheerfully._

_“Hi, Dawn.” Johanna greeted back. “How did your first dance lesson go?”_

_“Oh, I quit.” Dawn replied casually._

_Johanna stared at her._

_“Uh… really?” She asked._

_“Yeah.”_

_Johanna blinked a couple of times._

_“…Why?” She asked._

_Dawn shrugged. “I dunno. I just wasn’t having fun.”_

_“…Oh.”_

_“Yeah, it’s a bit disappointing.” Dawn remarked nonchalantly. “But if you don’t enjoy doing something, then it isn’t worth doing. That’s what I say.”_

_“Well… alright. If you’re sure.”_

_“Yup!” Dawn replied, swinging her bag onto the kitchen bench. “Anyway, I’m gonna go hang out with Kenny and Leona at the village square! I’m just here to change, and then I’m gonna head out. Is that okay?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Thank you!” Dawn ran up the stairs._

_Johanna watched her run up the stairs and to her room._

_She frowned and went back to her book._

_She thought about what her daughter had said._

_She focused harder on her book._

_She realised what her daughter had said._

_Johanna suddenly looked up and said, “Oh, crap.”_

* * *

_“Alright, ladies and gentlemen! We’re in the third round now, and it is currently anyone’s game! First up, we have the up-and-coming Zoey Winterburg going up against Dawn Berlitz, daughter of Johanna Berlitz, Top Coordinator of ’83, famous fashionista and all-around incredibly impressive figure. Let’s see if Dawn can live up to her mother’s immeasurable reputation and best this new talent from Snowpoint!”_

“…Thanks. Super cool of you.” Dawn muttered under her breath, trying to keep cool as Zoey stood on the other side of the battlefield. She was not ready for this. She was only pretending to be ready for this. She barely had three days of coordinating under her belt, whereas Zoey had been in three contests already. Logically, Dawn was doomed.

This was, of course, an attitude that was referred to as ‘defeatism’, and it was an attitude Dawn only adopted _after_ defeat, not before.

_“Same rules as before, people. Whoever has the most points by the end of the battle is the winner, no ifs, no buts! The judges are standing by, just itching to start awarding points!”_

_“I just can’t wait to patch up these Pokémon’s wounds!”_ Nurse Joy cheered cheerfully from the judge’s table.

_“I’m certain we’re about to see some exquisite showmanship tonight!”_ Mr Contesta said happily, with his oiled-back hair.

_“This point system really is remarkable!”_ Said the diminutive frame of Mr Suziko.

Contesta looked down as his fellow judge. _“…What?”_

_“Contestants, release your Pokémon!”_ The announcer declared.

“Buneary, spotlight!” Dawn cried, throwing out her Pokéball and releasing Buneary, who cheered loudly for herself as she entered the battlefield.

“Banshee, curtain call!” Zoey responded, throwing out a blue-and-red Great Ball. It opened up with a gush of black smoke, releasing the sinisterly chuckling form of Zoey’s Misdreavus. Its eyes glowed a terrifying red, and Dawn saw Buneary shudder.

_“You have five minutes to gain as many points as possible! Starting… now!”_

Dawn immediately threw out her hand dramatically. “Buneary! Ice Beam!”

“Banshee, Double Team!” Zoey ordered in response.

Immediately, just before Buneary could fire the beam, Banshee’s body split into two. Buneary stumbled, firing the beam at one of the duplicates. The beam phased straight through the illusion, and the Misdreavus chuckled.

From the corner of her eye, Dawn saw Zoey’s score rise by ten points.

“…That’s fine.” She said to herself. “Couple of early points. Doesn’t matter.”

“Confuse Ray!” She heard Zoey order. She saw the necklace around Banshee’s neck glow, sending half a dozen multicoloured orbs flying towards Buneary.

“Dodge it!” Dawn ordered. As Buneary leapt gracefully to the side, Dawn added, “Now, freeze the field!”

Buneary let loose another Ice Beam, running it over the battlefield and essentially turning it into a massive ice rink. She immediately spun around and begun skating around gracefully, a cute little smile on her face.

Dawn saw her own score rise by ten points.

“(You all see this?)” Buneary said challengingly, skating around the floating purple head. “(You can’t compete with my natural cuteness!)”

Banshee smirked as Zoey gave her another order. “(You know ice conducts electricity, right?)”

“(…Well, yeah, but it’s actually a pretty poor conductor, at least in comparison-)”

The necklace around Banshee’s neck glowed a bright, crackling yellow. With a thunderous _boom_ , a wave of lighting rushed towards Buneary, ripping up the ice and making the rabbit shriek in terror. The wave sent her flying back towards Dawn’s side of the battlefield, rolling in the dirt.

“ _Buneary?_ ” Dawn cried in alarm. The fluffy little Pokémon struggled to get back up, covered in scorch marks and dust. Dawn’s eyes flashed towards the scoreboard with rapidly disintegrating self-esteem. She had ten points. Zoey now had forty.

Dawn looked over towards Zoey standing confidently on the other side of the battlefield. “Where the hell did this girl learn how to pick up girls?” Dawn whispered to herself.

“Confuse Ray, again!” Zoey shouted, and another swarm of multicoloured lights came screaming towards Buneary.

In a blind panic, Dawn cried, “Counter it with Ice Beam!”

In an equally blind panic, Buneary unleashed another beam of frosty energy.

The beam flew over the lights, coating them with ice and causing them to freeze in place. Still held aloft by some eldritch power, the orbs glowed brighter with the ice, shining over the crowd and making them ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’. Dawn saw her score rise up to thirty, and her spirits started to rise again.

“(Wait, those things are _solid?_ )” Buneary spluttered. “(How does that make any-?)”

“Banshee, use Psywave on those lights!” Zoey ordered.

“Buneary, use Bounce!” Dawn shouted at the same time.

Banshee’s eyes glowed a bright blue, and a ring of pulsing blue energy washed over the frozen spheres. Each of the spheres erupted in a flash of multicoloured radiance, temporarily blinding the Misdreavus as Buneary soared into the air and came crashing down onto the ghost-type full-force. Both of them started to fall back to the ground.

“Make a ramp!” Dawn cried out.

Buneary grinned. This was the part that she and Dawn had spent all of yesterday perfecting. She unleashed another beam of frost, willing the beam to take the shape of a slide, spiralling downwards towards the ground. She slid down on her rump, the wind rustling through her oversized ears, exhilaration in her heart.

Dawn glanced towards the scoreboard. She and Zoey were tied. She felt her confidence soar. She could still do this.

Meanwhile, Banshee had just managed to use her levitation to catch herself from an impact with the ground.

“Psywave on that ramp!” Zoey cried out.

The Misdreavus’s eyes glowed blue again, and another ring of psychic blue energy blasted out, rippling through the structure and causing it to crack and start to fall apart. Realising that her ride down was no long a smooth one, Buneary jumped off, landing on the battlefield and stumbling a little.

“Shock Wave!” Zoey’s voice rang out across the battlefield again.

Dawn’s eyes widened as Banshee’s necklace began to glow yellow again. “Dodge it, Buneary!” She cried out.

And to Buneary’s credit, she did try to dodge it. She really did. She jumped as hard as she could to the side, trying to get out of the wave’s radius.

But as the electricity came crackling towards her, its area too wide to be properly avoided, all Buneary could do was squeak, “(Meep!)”

Dawn cried out as her Pokémon was once again blasted back towards her side of the field. This time, she was properly unconscious.

_“And that’s that!”_ The announcer announced. _“With a last-effort lead of fifteen points, the winner is… Zoey!”_

Dawn was quiet as the crowd cheered.

She was also quiet as she recalled Buneary back into her Pokéball.

* * *

Then, with as much dignity as she cared to muster, she turned around, wiped her eyes, and left the battlefield.

“And- and then she broke Buneary’s ramp, and- and I couldn’t do _anything-!_ ”

_“Dawn, I-”_

“-And she was way too strong, and I wasn’t ready _at all-!_ ”

_“I know, I was watch-”_

“-and I _lost_ in front of _everyone_ and- and it _just isn’t fair!_ ” Dawn wailed.

She was sitting in front of one of the video phones, tears openly running down her face. By some spatial miracle, she was the only one having a video call at the moment, and so there was no-one there to watch her weep like a toddler for losing one match – not that that would’ve stopped her if there was.

On the screen, Johanna sighed as Dawn choked on her sobbing. _“Are you done?”_ She asked, already exhausted by this display.

“I-” Dawn swallowed. “I just don’t get why it has to be so _hard!_ Why can’t I just win and be good, like you? I just wanna…!”

_“Give up?”_

That gave Dawn pause. She hiccupped a bit, looking up at her mother, her face suddenly stern.

“…Well… I’m not… I don’t wanna ‘give up’.” Dawn replied, trying to sound defensive. “I… just maybe think that I should take a break for a while.”

_“Like the one you took from dance classes?”_ Johanna questioned.

“I- hey, that was different! You didn’t let me try again!”

_“I never stopped you from going back, Dawn.”_ Johanna replied. _“I just didn’t bring it back up, because I thought it would upset you.”_

Dawn wiped her eyes angrily. “What, isn’t that the same thing?”

Johanna looked to the side. _“…Yes. It is. But you never brought it up, either.”_

Dawn didn’t have a rebuttal to that.

Johana sighed again. _“Look, I don’t want to sound discouraging, but… this is kind of what I was afraid of when I started getting ready for your journey. I knew you weren’t prepared for the adult world. You break down whenever you do the slightest thing wrong, you give up way too easily… and I was worried you’d do the same thing when you went out on your journey.”_

Dawn didn’t say anything, looking away from the screen.

_“And… I recognise that this is my fault.”_ Johanna admitted. _“I’ve always been too afraid to make you angry or sad, and… I’ve never taught you how to deal with feeling upset.”_

The two of them were quiet for a moment.

Johanna looked at her daughter seriously. _“If you want to come home, then come home. There’s no shame in that, and I can help you figure out where you want to go from there. But that isn’t a decision I want you to make on a whim. I want you to_ really _make sure that’s what you want.”_

Dawn sat up a little straight, still silent.

“I…” She started to say. She stopped, then started again. “I… don’t think I wanna give up.”

Johanna nodded.

“But… I don’t know what to do.” Dawn admitted. “I don’t know how to be a good trainer, I…”

_“Then ask your friends.”_ Johanna suggested. _“After all, you’re travelling with them to learn some stuff, right?”_

“…Yeah.” Dawn nodded. “Yeah, I… guess I could ask them.”

_“That’s what friends are for. They’re people you can turn to when you feel overwhelmed or lost.”_ Johanna smiled. _“Good friends are worth more than any amount of contest ribbons.”_

Dawn smiled back. “…Thanks, mum. I-”

_“Speaking of, can I talk to them when they’re available? I want to explain the ground rules to them.”_

Dawn’s smile faltered. “…Oh.”

* * *

Dawn returned to the contestant room dressed in her normal clothes, feeling simultaneously drained and energised. She told Ash and Brock to talk to her mum, giving them her number and telling them not to be intimidated by her. She then took a seat, watching the screen as Zoey finished up her last match against Jessie. To say that she steamrolled the Pokémon thief would have been underselling her – Jessie’s Dustox could barely get a move in. It ended with a score of 115 to 50, and with Jessie storming off the stage like a petulant child.

Then, the Jubilife Contest was over. The announcer thanked everyone for coming, thanked the coordinators for showing off, and encouraged the ones who lost to practice even harder for the next time. Dawn got up and with everyone else. As people filed out, back into the streets of Jubilife, Dawn waited in the reception area, her backpack on her back and Piplup by her side, scanning the crowd for any signs of her new red-headed friend.

“(…So, are you gonna get a crush on someone in every town we go to?)” Piplup asked accusingly. “(You just gonna get hot for whoever impresses you?)”

“I don’t see her either, Piplup.” Dawn muttered, scanning over the thinning crowd. “I’m sure she’s just getting changed.”

“(Yeah. _That’s_ what I’m worried about.)”

“Oh!” Dawn suddenly swooped down and grabbed Piplup, who squawked in protest. Ignoring him, Dawn rushed towards the redhead she had just spotted, crying, “Hey, Zoey!”

Her new rival-stroke-friend was no longer wearing her white-blue dress – now, she wore an orange cargo jacket over a long-sleeved purple shirt, and a pair of weathered denim jeans. She turned to see Dawn approaching, and she grinned at her.

“Hey, Dawn.” She greeted as Dawn stopped in front of her. Her smile held a hint of concern. “I didn’t see you after our match. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dawn laughed nervously, leaning against a nearby pillar. “I, uh… I was just a _teensy_ bit upset that I lost my first contest… but after thinking about for a bit, I realised it was nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Huh.” Zoey put a hand on her hip. “I was kinda worried that I had been a bit too intense. You were doing pretty well for a first timer, so I thought that I’d take off the training wheels, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Dawn nodded. “I think I needed it, to be honest. Get to know what it’s all about, so I’m prepared for next time.”

“Exactly.” Zoey nodded, smirking. “Felt pretty good, right?”

Dawn stared at her.

“…Losing?” She asked.

Zoey blinked. “Uh, no, like… the battle.”

“Oh, right! Yeah, that- the battle! Yeah, it was super great, very… uh… educational?”

“Yeah, that’s… that’s good.”

“Yeah, just… couldn’t really do anything at the end there.” Dawn sighed. “Buneary just couldn’t get out of the way of that Shock Wave.”

“Yeah, that move is pretty hard to avoid.” Zoey agreed. “You have to be able to get some significant air in order to avoid it.”

Dawn double blinked.

“ _Bounce!_ ” She cried, slapping her forehead. “I could’ve used Bounce! I’m so _stupid_ , if I-!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re not stupid!” Zoey said quickly and somewhat panicked. “That’s- It’s… just something you can use against me for next time, you know?”

Dawn looked into Zoey’s worried expression, feeling herself calm down. “Yeah… yeah, okay. That’s… you’re right.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. No need to worry, or anything.”

“Yeah, yeah, good.”

There was an awkward silence between the two girls. Piplup rolled his eyes.

“You wanna go get a coffee or something?” Zoey asked suddenly.

That gave Dawn pause.

She pressed her fingers together and pointed them to Zoey. “How old are you again?” She asked.

Dawn saw Zoey’s smile turn coy. “Sixteen this October. Why?”

Dawn considered this for a moment.

Zoey was a very good coordinator. She was impressive, confident, and Dawn liked the way that she also tried to bolster her spirits and give her helpful advice. Also, Dawn knew barely anything about her, and the first things she had said to Dawn had been to hit on her.

Dawn looked briefly over towards the video phones, where Ash and Brock were still talking to her mum.

Ash was a very good Pokémon trainer. He was impressive, confident, and Dawn like the way that he was always optimistic even in the worst circumstances. Also, Dawn knew barely anything about him, and he seemed to be very bad at retaining information.

Like, _really_ bad.

“…Uh, I think I’ll pass.” Dawn replied. “Long day, feeling a bit tired.” She smiled at the redhead. “But hey, next time, I’d love to.”

The disappointment on Zoey’s face was brief, subtle, and quickly replaced with a friendly smile. “Sure, no worries. Heading out early tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think Ash wants to head out to Oreburgh as soon as he can.”

“All good. I’m heading up to Chocovine Town, gonna see if I can catch the spring contest up there.” Zoey replied. “Maybe we can meet again in Eterna? Ash will probably wanna head there once he’s done in Oreburgh.”

“Sure. I’d love to!” Dawn said eagerly.

“Alright. Coffee in Eterna. Sounds like a date to me.” Zoey winked at her before heading off. “See you there, Dawn!”

“S-see you, Zoey!” Dawn replied, her heart jumping a bit.

She watched as the fellow coordinator left the hall, exiting through the doors and out onto the streets, the street stalls packing up their wares.

After decided that she had been staring for too long, Piplup pecked her impatiently on the arm and pointed his flipper towards Ash and Brock. Dawn blinked and looked towards them, seeing that they seemed to have just finished with their video call. With a quick nod, she headed over towards them.

“Hey, guys.” She greeted them, prompting them to turn towards her. “I hope my mum wasn’t too overbearing.”

“Nah, she was cool.” Ash replied nonchalantly. “She just wanted to make sure we weren’t jerks.”

“(She threatened a national manhunt for us if you came home pregnant.)” Pikachu chipped in from Ash’s shoulder.

“She was reasonably worried.” Brock explained. “But she relaxed somewhat when I told her I was a gym leader.”

Dawn smirked at him. “And when you told her you were a Pokémon breeder?”

“I phrased it as ‘Pokémon mentor’.” Brock replied, looking around the near-empty atrium. “I take it you hit it off well with Zoey?”

“Yeah, she, uh… She was pretty nice.” Dawn looked away, a slight dreamy note to her gaze. “We’re gonna have coffee in Eterna City…”

“Did you get her number?”

Dawn blinked, returning her gaze the guys. “…I might have forgotten that step.”

“Dude, this is cool!” Ash said enthusiastically. “You’ve got your very first rival!”

“Rival?” Dawn stared at him, nonplussed. “Where did you get _that_ from?”

“Because she’s, like, your opposite and your equal at the same time! She’s confident, while you’re kinda unsure of yourself; she’s really experienced, while you’re just starting out; and she’s got red hair, and you’ve got blue hair! Of course, she’s your rival!”

There was a strange kind of logic to his words that made his statement make a little bit of sense. She turned and looked out the doors again, in the direction Zoey had gone.

She smiled a bit. “Rivals…”


	8. Perfectly Laid Plans

There was a valley path that could be found halfway down Route 203, carved into the walls of the mountains and towering over the forest below. It was through this valley that many of the local flying types travelled through during their yearly migration, as it offered easy passage through the mountains. With summer fast approaching, the bird-like Pokémon were heading north, where it was cooler and more hospitable for them.

Soaring through this valley, at the moment, were two such flying types – a Swellow and a Pidgeotto, both heading for the cooler forests up north.

“(No.)” The Pidgeotto said flatly, as they soared through the air.

“(Come on, man!)” The Swellow said desperately.

“( _No_ , Swell. I’m not talking to this chick for you.)”

“(Come on, you just have to say one thing! Don’t be such a wimp!)”

“( _I’m_ the wimp?)” The Pidgeotto looked up to his friend in disbelief. “(You’re the one asking _me_ to ask this chick to ask you to go out with her, and _I’m_ the wimp?)”

The Swellow nodded.

“(Dude, just ask her yourself.)” The Pidgeotto turned its attention back on flying through the valley. “(You’re the one who likes her, you ask her.)”

“(She likes me too!)” The Swellow protested. “(She just doesn’t know it yet! Or… she’s too shy, or something. I dunno!)”

“(I don’t think you’d be so desperate to get me to do it if you believed either of those scenarios.)” The Pidgeotto scanned the valley, in case they could snatch a bug-type for a mid-flight snack. “(Why is _this_ the thing that terrifies you?)”

“(Hey, I’m not scared!)” The Swellow snapped.

“(Then ask her out.)”

“(I can’t! It…)” The Swellow winced. “(It looks weak.)”

The Pidgeotto blinked in confusion, then looked up to his friend. “(What do you mean, ‘it looks weak’?)”

“(It just… it looks weak if I’m the one who asks her.)” The Swellow replied. “(She has to be the one to approach _me_. That looks better.)”

“(It ‘looks better’? Oh my God, this is about that Fearow you’ve been hanging out with, isn’t it?)” The Pidgeotto accused.

“(Fearow is an awesome alpha bird who fought in _six_ gym battles before his trainer died of _cancer!_ Don’t you _dare_ disrespect him!)” Swellow squawked angrily.

“(He’s a goddamn asshole who’s been feeding you bull-crap to make himself feel more impressive! The elders said that he just slinked into the flock one day after losing a battle against a trainer and his _Skitty!_ )”

“(The flock elders are liars! Fearow said so!)”

“(You need to get _away_ from that guy, man! You are in a _toxic_ relationship!)” The Pidgeotto told him emphatically. “(You need to reconnect with the flock, you need to stop letting him use you like a man-servant, and then you can ask out that other chick to- _What the fuck?_ )” The Pidgeotto suddenly cried, on account of the fact that he had just collided with a large net.

“( _Pokémon Jesus!_ )” The Swellow screeched, as he too collided with the net.

“( _What’s happening?_ )” The Pidgeotto screamed as the net started to swing towards the ground.

“( _I’m too pretty to die!_ )” The Swellow shrieked out as he noticed a giant pit in the ground directly beneath them.

Encased in steel, rectangular frame, the net hit the edges of the pit, dislodging the two bird Pokémon and sending them screaming down into the depths below.

From the room of a nearby wooden hut, three individuals – a Meowth and two humans dressed in white uniforms emblazoned with an ‘R’ – watched as the net swung back upwards until it stood upright, blocking the entirety of the valley. The Meowth pulled up a little notepad and a pen, crossing out a number on it, and then writing the number ‘37’ underneath it.

“…How is _this_ the plan that works?” Meowth asked in disbelief.

* * *

**Pokémon Diamond and Pearl: An Abridged Novella**

**Chapter 8: Perfectly Laid Plans**

* * *

In a clearing about two days down Route 203, the sounds of a particularly intensive training session could be heard. A Starly dove down from the sky and toward a Pikachu, standing on all fours with an intense expression. The bird careened toward his target, his eyes narrowed and focused, but whenever he got close, Pikachu leapt deftly to the side, and Starly would swoop past with a miss.

Nearby, Turtwig was running full pelt through the grass. It leapt deftly to the side, avoiding the star-shaped rays of Swift thrown from Aipom as she leapt through the air. He grunted as he as one of the rays collided with his shell, but he powered through and kept running.

In the middle of it all, Ash kept a close eye on all of them, his eyes sweeping between one group to the next to a stopwatch he held in his hand.

“Aerial Ace again, Starly!” He called out to his flying type. “Remember to keep your focus on your opponent! Don’t let him dodge out of the way!” In a blink, he switched his attention over to the twig-turtle Pokémon. “Turtwig, make sure you stay aware of your surroundings! You need to know where hits are going to land if you want to avoid them!”

Both Pokémon nodded in confirmation. Starly swooped back into the air to come around for another strike, while Turtwig turned around, and started running back the other way.

From the edge of the clearing, sitting by a fold-out table, Dawn and Brock watched Ash train his Pokémon. His style has the sternness of a drill sergeant, but the youthful optimism of a schoolboy.

“…Jeez. He been training all day.” Dawn murmured, half in awe, half in concern.

“Ash has a very strict training regimen.” Brock explained. “He kinda has to be strict in order to keep his competitive edge.”

“Still, it’s, like… _all_ he’s been doing.” Dawn said, resting her head on her hand as she watched him. “Like… the only reason he stopped this morning is because we had to head out.”

“Mm-hm.” Brock nodded, taking a sip of tea. “You trained this morning, yeah?”

“Yeah, but only for an hour. That’s enough, right?”

“For you, yeah. But Ash is more experienced than you are, and he’s participating in a very competitive event. His Pokémon need more training than others do if he wants to stay at the top of his game.”

“I guess…” Dawn frowned. “But I don’t think I’ve seen him take a single break in the whole week I’ve known him.” She looked up at Brock. “Doesn’t he have any hobbies?”

“Well…” The ex-gym leader tapped the side of his cup in thought. “He goes for runs… sometimes… uh…” Brock frowned. “He likes… catching Pokémon…”

“…So… no?” Dawn asked with uncertainty.

“…Not really.” Brock admitted, quickly adding. “He does have other interests, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes when we’re at a Pokémon centre, for example, he watches this Johtonese cartoon about muscular men in robes flying in the sky and fighting each other by shooting lasers from their hands.”

Dawn stared at him.

“Yeah, I don’t get it either.” Brock said. “But it is a different interest.”

Back on the field, Pikachu dodged another Aerial Ace from Starly, prompting the bird to soar up again with a frustrated cry.

“(Kid, you have to correct your flight the second you see me move!)” Pikachu shouted out to him. “(Don’t take your eyes off of me for an instant!)”

“(I know, I know!)” Starly shouted back, somewhat aggravated. He flew around for another attempt, diving down in to have another swipe at the electric mouse.

As he dove down, he angled his flight toward the ground to late, clipping his leg against the ground. The pain caused him to panic, lose control, and then crash into the grass, rolling as his momentum carried him forward, ploughing through the ground and coming to a complete stop before Pikachu.

“(…Oh.)” Pikachu blinked, having just remembered something. “(And also, try not to get too close to the ground, otherwise… that’ll happen.)”

The nearby trainers immediately came rushing toward the scene, Brock carrying a potion and a roll of bandages. As soon as he was in arm’s reach, the older trainer knelt down, checked out the spots where Starly was injured, sprayed a potion on him, tied a bandage around the bird’s leg, and then he gave the other two the thumbs-up. “He’s good.”

“Seriously?” Dawn asked in surprise, standing nearby as Ash knelt down with Brock. “A crash like that, and he’s fine?”

“Oh, yeah. Pokémon are way more durable than they look.” Ash explained eagerly.

“(I don’t feel very durable.)” Starly said woozily, slowly getting up.

“(Yeah, that’s just the concussion.)” Pikachu said dismissively. “(That’ll wear off in a couple of minutes.)”

“Now, he just has a couple of bruises and a sprained leg, nothing serious.” Brock elaborated, standing up. “I would, however, recommend that he stays off that leg for a couple of days.”

“(Urg.)” Starly groaned dejectedly. “(You guys have been training me for a week, and I still suck. Maybe I should’ve stayed in the forest.)”

“I think you mean we’ve _only_ been training you for a week.” Ash told him, stroking the bird across the head. “You’ve still got a lot of room to grow.”

“I am a little bit surprised that you’re teaching him Aerial Ace already.” Brock noted.

“Is that an advanced move?” Dawn asked.

“It’s not exactly simple to learn.”

“Starly can learn it.” Ash replied confidently. “He may be new, but he’s stronger than he looks. I can feel it.”

“I’d say!”

The gang looked over to where the voice had come from. Emerging from the forestation was a youngish-looking woman, dressed in a khaki bush jacket and shorts, her hair a dark burgundy and her eyes an unsettling gold.

“I was just trotting through the forest, I was, when I ‘eard you chums practicing over ‘ere!” The woman said brightly in a Galarian accent so horrible and ear-grating that each word sent a shiver of horror through Dawn’s spine. “Took a peak through the bushes and I say, you’re quite alright, mister chum, friend, mate, bangers-and-mash-o!”

The trainers stared at her for a moment.

“…Thanks?” Ash said uncertainly, having not understood a word of what she had said.

“M’ name’s Rosebay!” The woman continued brightly in her terrible accent. “What should I call you chaps, I say what?”

“Uhh…” Dawn reeled, Rosebay’s hideous inflections resonating in her brain. “Dawn, Ash, and…” She replied, pointed to each party member in turn and pointing towards the spot where Brock had been.

“And _I’m_ Brock.” Brock said huskily, already in front of Rosebay on one knee and with his hand outstretched. “And you, Rosebay, are by far the most beautiful flower I have and will see in this forest!”

“…What?” Rosebay asked, nonplussed.

“I have been in love with you ever since we first met!” Brock pressed on, oblivious to her discomfort. “I know that was only ten seconds ago, but it feels like an eternity ago! I- _Oh God my spine!_ ”

The last part was screamed out on account of the fact that Croagunk had chosen this moment to break out of his Pokéball and jab Brock in the spine, injecting him with venom and sending him crashing to the ground in paralytic agony.

The purple frog, his mouth fixed in its strange half-grin, grabbed Brock by the ends of his trousers and began dragging him away. “(Let’s go, Brock.)”

“…Where are you taking me?” Brock asked his Pokémon weakly.

Croagunk paused to look at him with detached calm. “(Somewhere where no-one will interrupt us.)”

And then he continued to drag him into the forest, leaving the others staring after them in confusion and fear.

“…Anyway…” Rosebay continued, regaining her bright attitude as if nothing had happened. “I was just thinkin’ that you bright fellows could ‘elp me out with a little spot of bother, I say!”

“Bother?” Ash asked, still not quite understanding what she was saying.

“See, I’m a novice Pokémornithologist, I am! And I’ve-”

“You’re a _what?_ ” Dawn asked, completely lost.

“Pokémornithologist.” Rosebay repeated. “I wander about, take a gander at the local flying-type Pokémon and then jot down some notes before popping of for tea and crumpets!”

“…So, you’re a flying-type expert.” Dawn translated.

“Nope.” Rosebay replied happily. “Pokémornithologist. Anyway, the tip of the top hat I’m tryin’ to get to is that there’s usually a blimey lot more flying types that show up around this time of year, there is. But I’ve barely seen a feather of ‘em!”

“Uhhh…” Ash replied blankly. “You’re saying that the flying types haven’t been showing up?”

“Exactly! And since you buggers seem to be the cream of the crop, you know, I was hopin’ that you’d be able to lend me a helpful hand and get to the bottom of all this kerfufflery, say what?”

“Sure!” Ash said, once he had put together that she was asking for help. “We’ll get ready to help you out as soon as Brock is done…” He looked over to where Croagunk had dragged Brock. “…recovering.”

“(Oh, awesome.)” Pikachu rolled his eyes. “(Let’s insert ourselves into the life of another random person on the road. Why not?)”

“Uh… okay.” Dawn scratched her head and pointed over to a large valley that was towering over the forest. “So, where do we start? Up there, maybe? Something could have happened while they were migrating?”

“We’ll start by looking at the nests!” Rosebay replied brightly, completely ignoring Dawn. “That should give us a quid or two on what’s going on.”

“I…” Dawn shook her head. “How do you use words _that_ incorrectly?”

“Alright, but we should head off pretty soon.” Ash said insistently. “We don’t want to waste too much time.”

“…Why?” Dawn asked, now directing her confusion towards Ash. “We’re not in a rush.”

“Yeah, but I want to stay ahead of Team Rocket.” Ash explained, folding his arms. “If we let them catch up, then that’ll give them an ample opportunity to catch Pikachu.” When Dawn looked sceptical, he assured her, “Trust me, when it comes to capturing Pikachu, Team Rocket are as ruthless as they are determined!”

* * *

About half a mile away, Jessie and James were each lying on white fold-out beach chairs, wearing nothing but blue bathing suits and sunglasses as they basked in the sun atop the roof of their hideout.

Lying on her belly, Jessie turned towards her companion with a slightly concerned frowned. “Hey, James?”

“Hm?” James asked, not moving a muscle as he laid there on his back.

“I’ve been doing some thinking.”

“Yes?” James turned on his side to face her.

“You know, with the success of this recent scheme, I’ve been feeling a little uncertain.”

“About what?”

Jessie put her head on her hand, pushing herself up. “Is it possible that our plans are _too_ brilliant?”

James gave this some thought.

“You know, I have been thinking about that,” He admitted. “And honestly? I think our genius knows no bounds.”

“…Hm.” Jessie returned to her lying down. “Yes, so do I.”

At this point, Meowth emerged from a trapdoor on the roof of the hideout, covered in black grease, holding a wrench, and spluttering furiously when he saw his work-shy allies. “What the hell are you two chumps doin?!”

“We’re relaxing, Meowth.” Jessie replied dismissively as the Scratch Cat walked towards them. “Because we don’t need to do anything.”

“With the success of our latest plan, the Pokémon come to us, rather than us to them.” James added, stretching on his beach chair.

“Don’t you mean _my_ latest plan?” Meowth asked aggressively.

“Semantics.” James sighed. “Point is, we don’t have to anything to win this time. We just have to wait until our larder is full.”

“Yeah, you two must be feeling _real_ comfy right now, ain’t’cha?” Meowth asked rhetorically, a derisive smirk on his face. “We’re winning for once, and you think now’s a great time to put up feet and relax. Y’know who always comes around to ruin that feelin’ whenever you’re feelin’ it?”

“You, by all accounts.” Jessie muttered.

“ _The twerps._ ” Meowth snarled. “You know as well as I do that this is the _exact_ point where that brainless kid shows up to ruin things for us, so unless you wanna lose all these hard-earned flyin’ types, you need to help me prepare for ‘im! I just spent all morning setting up landmines by myself, for cryin’ out loud!”

James looked up in alarm. “ _Landmines?_ ”

“Oh, please.” Meowth rolled his eyes. “If we can survive getting blown up, so can they.”

“Hmm… well, we don’t want to let the twerps catch us with our pants down – quite literally.” Jessie rolled over to look at Meowth. “The sight of my immeasurable feminine beauty would give at least two of them a heart attack.”

“So, you’ll help?”

“No.” Jessie replied simply, reaching for the two Pokéballs beside her chair. “We’ll just get our Pokémon to do it.”

“…Fine.” Meowth rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I’ll take it.”

With a _pop_ and a flash of white light, the other four Pokémon of Team Rocket stood before them, ready for orders. Seviper curled out to look at her master with an arrogant smirk. Cacnea stood as tall as he could, an eager smile on his cactus-like face. Dustox hovered nearby, drinking in the scenery of the valley, while Carnivine hovered behind them all, giggling manically.

“Alright…” James mused. “Dustox and Carnivine can fly, so they can scout ahead and keep an eye out for twerps.”

“While Cacnea and Seviper can…” Jessie said, waving her hand around disinterestedly. “I don’t know, guard the flying types or something.”

“(Yes, ma’am!)” Cacnea said enthusiastically, saluting with his pin-covered arm. “(I’ll make you proud, James!)”

“(G- _Guard duty?!_ )” Seviper snarled in outrage. “(You would _dare_ waste my talents on guarding a bunch of worthless bird Pokémon? To hell with that, I’m scouting ahead with _them!_ )” She gestured towards the other two of her compatriots with her head.

“( _Yes._ Come with us!)” Carnivine laughed madly, because he was mad. “(And when we find them, we’ll consume all of them and then ourselves! And then we shall _all_ be one with the tummy jubblies!)”

“(Oh, we’re just going to have the most wonderful of times!)” Dustox cried happily. “(We’ll play dress-ups, we’ll have a tea party, we’ll play dress-ups… It’ll be bundles of fun!)”

“(…I’d like to volunteer for guard duty.)” Seviper muttered.

Dustox and Carnivine promptly left, hovering into the sky and heading southward, where the twerps were travelling. Cacnea and Seviper, meanwhile, slipped down the trapdoor into the lower hideout, Seviper doing so reluctantly.

As the other Pokémon left, a thought occurred to James, and he sat up with a frown. “How much do you fellows think we can actually get for thirty-seven garden-variety flying types, anyway?”

“We ain’t sellin’ those birds!” Meowth snapped before Jessie could answer him. “Those hapless flyin’-types are goin’ straight to the boss!”

Jessie looked towards Meowth with a raised eyebrow. “What on earth would Giovanni want with three-dozen underpowered bird Pokémon?”

Meowth chuckled, rubbing his chin. “Lemme enlighten you mugs. Imagine this – the boss is sittin’ in his mansion, sighin’ and goin’ ‘Oh, life is so dull when you’re at the top. If only I could spread my wings and _soar_!’ And then, all them bird Pokémon will fly down and pick up his chair, lifting him up and flying him through the air on a cloud of feathers!” He spread his arms out wide with an insane grin. “And then he’ll give us a _promotion!_ ”

Jessie and James looked at their friend blankly as they tried to process this.

“ _What?_ ” They said in unison.

“Don’t you guys think that sounds both possible _and_ plausible?” Meowth asked with complete sincerity.

“Have you been huffing those engine fumes again?” James asked concernedly.

“ _I can quit whenever I want!_ ” Meowth roared.

* * *

Back in the forest, Rosebay had led the gang to a part of the forest where the Swablu usually set up their nests. Most of the group had taken up residence in nearby trees with binoculars at Rosebay’s insistence. Rosebay and Ash had taken place in one tree, while Brock had taken place up in another. Dawn, whose attire was worse than ill-suited to climbing anything, had opted to stay on the ground underneath Brock’s tree, Piplup sitting by her side playing with a couple of pinecones.

After about two minutes of staring at the nest, Brock climbed back down the tree and admitted to Dawn, “I’m not sure I see the point in this.”

“Tell me about it.” Dawn replied, having given up on the endeavour thirty seconds in. “Why are we helping this lady again?”

Brock shrugged, raising the binoculars up as he took another look at the nest. “Ash likes helping people. And _I_ enjoy helping Rosebay.”

“Urgh.” Dawn rolled her eyes in disgust. “How do you see past that accent?”

“Beauty is more than what you see, Dawn!” Brock replied dramatically, clenching his fist in passion while still looking through the binoculars. “Beauty is about how passionate someone is about what they do! It’s about how they pose themselves, how they conduct themselves! The battle of love is an ever-changing, intricate dance of courtship and wonder!”

“Uh-huh.” Dawn replied, unconvinced. “You know that just because you come at it from the angle of ‘courtship’ doesn’t make you any less of a pervert, right?”

“…Okay, you know you’re not any better, right?” Brock replied, lowering the binoculars and looking at her. “I saw you giving Ash a glance while he was changing the other day.”

“ _That_ was different!” Dawn snapped, trying to ignore the flush of red that crept up her face. “That was, like, a brief three-second glance!”

“(It was a _lot_ longer than three seconds.)” Piplup corrected, smirking.

“It’s a perfectly normal sideways glance that people give to people that they’re attracted to. Everyone does it.” Dawn leaned against the tree trunk, folding her arms and giving Brock a glare.

“If you say so.” Brock replied with a chuckle, returning his attention to the Swablu nest.

Dawn looked away, incensed and embarrassed. Then, after a moment’s thought, something occurred to her and she frowned. “…It is kinda weird that he hasn’t done the same thing, though.” She said thoughtfully.

Brock lowered the binoculars to look at her. “Who?”

“Ash.”

“… _Is_ that weird?”

“Well, yeah. Like, here I am, half my thigh exposed, and I don’t think I’ve caught Ash giving me even the briefest of sideways glances. Like, not even once. And look, I don’t wanna sound arrogant or anything.” Dawn added, holding her hands up. “Maybe he’s just polite or he’s… not attracted to me. Or maybe he just legitimately hasn’t noticed because he’s spent so much time training, or whatever. But I don’t think he passed a glance at any girls while we were in Jubilife, either.” Dawn raised her eyebrows. “And there were some _pretty_ revealing costumes in play at the contest.”

“…Ash is… uh…” Brock frowned at her. “Wait, do you only wear the short skirt to get boys to notice you?”

“…Is there another reason to wear a short skirt?”

There was a rustle from a nearby tree as Ash and Rosebay climbed back down to ground level. Making their way towards the others, Rosebay sighed and said, “Well, ‘ello, ‘ello. Your little expert here just took a gander at the Swablu nest, couldn’t put the fish to the chips about what had happened to all them flyin’ types! We couldn’t even catch a speck of their nests!”

It took a few seconds for Dawn and Brock to comprehend what she was saying.

“…Okay, so whatever is happening to the flying types happens _before_ they arrive at their nest.” Brock mused, stroking his chin.

“Well, then maybe we should check out that valley, then?” Dawn asked, pointing toward the massive valley that rose over the forest like a monolith. “Something could be preventing them from their winter migration.”

“Nup!” Rosebay replied brightly. “We’re gonna take a gawk at the Hoothoot colony!”

“What?” Dawn blinked in non-understanding. “What would we learn from there that we didn’t learn here?”

“We’re only going to find out by takin’ a look!” Rosebay replied, pointing forth. “Come on, chums! Last one there’s a lazy coal baron!”

To the side stood Ash, hopelessly lost. Pikachu sat on his shoulder, rolling his eyes as his trainer tried to piece together what Rosebay was talking about.

“(Alright, she’s an idiot.)” The mouse said decisively. “(I think we should take matters into our own hands.)”

“Ah, don’t be harsh, Pikachu.” Ash reprimanded his friend. “She’s a Pokémonthologist…” Ash frowned as he realised that wasn’t right. “A Poke-ornigist… Poké-horny-gist…”

“(…Yeah, just because she has a fancy-sounding name doesn’t mean she knows what she’s doing.)” Pikachu replied. “(So, instead of mindlessly wandering from empty nest to empty nest, I propose that we send Starly out to find the problem, confront it directly, and then bam!)” He slapped his paws together with a grin. “(Adventure time cut in half!)”

Ash frowned. “Wouldn’t that put Starly in harm’s way of whatever’s happening to the flying types?”

“(He’s got Keen Eye! He can spot threats from a mile away!)” Pikachu replied dismissively. He leaned towards Ash a bit more. “(Besides, he needs the ego boost after today’s training session.)”

“Hmm…” Ash thought about it. Making a decision, he called out to everyone else, “Hey, I’m going to send out Starly to scout ahead and see if he can find what’s causing this.”

“What a spiffing idea!” Rosebay said as everyone turned to look at him. “I would’ve never thought of that!”

Brock raised an eyebrow at her, then he turned and pulled out a Pokéball. “Alright, I’ll send Crobat to accompany him, just in case something happens.”

With a flash, the two Pokémon materialised into the air, Starly still sporting the bandage around his leg.

“Okay, you two go out and find whatever’s stopping the flying types from nesting here.” Ash ordered. “If you get into any trouble, come back to find us, okay?”

“(You got it, sir!)” Starly replied determinedly while Crobat nodded in confirmation. “(I promise not to screw it up!)”

With that, the two flying types soared into the air, heading towards the valley in the distance.

* * *

After about a minute of flying in silence, Starly coughed awkwardly and asked, “(So… what’s it like training with Brock?)”

Crobat made a non-committal sound that sounded like a rasp.

“(Yeah, I get it. I don’t talk to you guys much.)” Starly said, undeterred. “(You guys don’t get let out that often, so I don’t know much about you.)”

Crobat made a sound that was definitely a rasp.

“(I… actually don’t talk to my own team-mates a lot.)” Starly admitted, looking down in shame. “(I feel like they’re better than me, and I get intimidated. Turtwig’s newer than I am, and even he’s stronger than me.)”

Crobat made the raspiest noise that could’ve ever been rasped.

“(…Can you… talk?)” Starly asked uncertainly, looking over toward the bat.

Crobat shook her head.

“(…Oh.)”

They spend the next few minutes flying in complete silence.

As they approached the valley, Starly spotted a small flock of plump, blue-feathered bird Pokémon, much to his relief. He and Crobat flew faster to catch up to them, eventually coming up alongside a pair of the small birds.

“(Hey, excuse me?)” Starly introduced himself to one of the Taillow, prompting . “(I was wondering if-)”

“(Whoa, whoa, _whoa._ )” The Taillow directly beside the one Starly was talking to looked over to give the starling a glare. “(Are you tryin’ to cosy up to my girl, birdie?)”

“(Uh… what?)” Starly asked, confused.

“(Oh my God, you’re, like, one of those native birds!)” The first Taillow said with a smile. “(Wow, you’re so, like, cute!)”

“(You hear that, birdie?)” The male Taillow said aggressively. “(My girl just called you cute! You better hope that’s all she calls you.)” He narrowed his eyes. “(For your sake.)”

Starly and Crobat exchanged a brief, unsure glance. “(…I… don’t know what you two are talking about.)” Starly replied. “(I just want to know if you guys know anything about the missing flying types.)”

“(No.)” The male Taillow replied, still very forceful. “(But you better get missing soon, if you know what’s good for you.)”

“(Pokémon are _missing_?)” The female Taillow gasped. “(That must be why that forest felt so empty! We came here for a vay-cay, because we heard this part of Sinnoh was so nice, but it’s been so empty here. So, my friend, she, like, suggested that we go further north to see if there were any nicer spots up there, and she said that the spots near the lakes were _super_ nice, and then she said-)”

“(Net!)” Starly suddenly said, pulling up his flight.

The female Taillow frowned in thought as Starly took off. “(No, she said-)”

With a cacophony of alarmed squawks, every Taillow in the flock collided with a massive square net that took up the entire width of the valley. With a sharp screech of metal, the net swung downwards, depositing every one of the bird Pokémon into a massive pit in the ground. The net then swung back out, repositioning itself to take up the valley again.

Far above, Starly looked at the net in surprise.

“(…Huh.)” He said. He turned to look at Crobat. “(Hey Crobat, I think we found where all… the…)”

Crobat wasn’t there.

“(…Flying-types…)” Starly slowly looked back down towards the trap as he realised what had happened to his companion. “(…Oh…)”

Starly hung in the air for a moment, hovering uncertainly as he looked down at the net.

“(…I should go get the others.)” He muttered to himself. “(So that they can deal with this. That’s the sensible thing to do.)”

He didn’t move, still hovering in the air.

“(Crobat can handle herself.)” He tried to rationalise to himself. “(I can’t. I’m just a bird.)”

Still, he didn’t move.

Then, with a sharp intake of breath followed by a reluctant groan, he dove down towards the pit.

* * *

The bottom of the pit opened up into a large hall of steel cages, most of which were filled with small- to medium-sized flying-type Pokémon. The Pokémon were restless, and not unreasonably angry, yet they were quiet for the most part. In the middle of the room, approaching a bundle of writhing, squawking Taillows restrained in a fishing net, was a large, dark-coloured snake and a walking cactus, both currently engaged in conversation.

“(I’m just saying, sometimes it feels like she forgets that I even exist.)” Seviper said.

“(Uh-huh.)” Cacnea replied noncommittedly.

Seviper slithered towards a cage containing a couple of Pidgeys, a Pidgeotto, and a Hoothoot, opening the electric lock with a lazy flick of her tail. The birds started to bristle up, as if to attack, but then Seviper’s eyes briefly flashed blood-red, and the imprisoned avians shrunk back in fear.

“(Seriously,)” Seviper continued her conversation, a bitter edge to her voice. “(I’m the strongest Pokémon on this team, bar _none_. But half the time we’re in a combat situation, she sends out Dustox! Or _Wobbuffet._ )” She spat out the psychic-type’s name with acidic disdain.

“(Yeah, yeah.)” Cacnea replied, grabbing the net of Taillows and dragging them towards the cage.

“(She should be using _me_ for virtually every battle! There’s no tactical reason not to!)” Seviper lamented. “(It would be so easy to just, say, use me for Pokémon battles, and then use Dustox for those pointless fashion shows. Arceus knows Dustox wouldn’t complain.)”

“(I hear you.)” Cacnea sighed, unceremoniously chucking the birds into the cage.

Seviper glared at the cactus Pokémon as she closed the cage door. “(…Okay, I’m not going to keep up a one-sided conversation. Don’t you have anything about James that annoys you?)”

“(Uh… nope.)” Cacnea replied cheerfully. “(I like James a lot. I just wanna do him proud, you know?)”

“(Spoken like a twerp Pokémon.)” Seviper rolled her eyes. “(Come on, there’s got to be _something_ that irritates you, like… eh, his awful cooking?)” She suggested.

“(His cooking’s really good, though.)”

“(Or his stupid accent…)”

“(I think it’s really calming in stressful situations.)”

“(Or his repressed homosexuality, I don’t know!)” Seviper snapped in frustration.

“(His _what?_ )” Cacnea spluttered, outraged.

“(Oh, come on.)” Seviper raised her brow at him. “(You don’t think it’s a _little_ strange that hasn’t given Jessie the wandering eye? Not even _once?_ )”

Cacnea folded his arms, glaring at the snake. “(Maybe he just respects women.)”

Seviper snorted, glancing over towards the Taillows as they untangled themselves. “(Yeah, maybe.)” She replied derisively. Then she frowned as she noticed something purple removing itself from the mass of blue feathers. “(Wait a second…)”

Crobat flopped out of the mess and turned around to glower at Seviper.

“(Fan-fucking-tastic.)” Seviper sighed resignedly. “(We’ve caught the older twerp’s Crobat.)”

“(…Which means that the others aren’t far behind.)” Cacnea said worriedly.

Crobat hissed defensively.

“(Whatever.)” Seviper turned around and headed for the door out. “(The lunatics will warn us if the twerps are coming. Hopefully then, I’ll get to actually see some decent action.)”

“(Yeah…)” Cacnea cast a concerned look towards the birds as he left with his companion. “(Shouldn’t we guard in here, since the twerps are coming?)”

“(Those cages are made from the best steel we could steal.)” Seviper replied, smirking cruelly at the captured birds. “(They’re not going anywhere.)”

With a laugh, Seviper led her cactus companion out of the prison hall and slammed the door behind them, leaving the trapped Pokémon behind them languishing in the dark. There was a small amount of quiet commotion as the birds chattered fearfully amongst themselves.

Crobat was as quiet as ever. With her acute night vision, she could see the confines of the room perfectly. She found herself taken aback by just how many Pokémon had been captured. There had to be over forty flying-types in here.

“(Psst!)” A voice from the rafters above whispered, causing Crobat to perk up. “(Crobat? Where are you?)”

Crobat made a loud rasping sound as the other bird types hushed.

Landing in front of Crobat’s cell was Starly, fear and determination on his face. “(It’s me!)” He whispered. “(I’ve come to rescue… well…)” He looked around the prison hall. “(…All of you, I guess.)”

The other occupants of Crobat’s cell immediately pushed to the front. The hall’s chatter was renewed, with murmurs of, “(He’s outside!)”, and “(How did he do that?)”, and “(Can’t see, move aside!)”

“(Yo, man!)” The Pidgeotto in Crobat’s cell said excitedly. “(How did you avoid that net up there?)”

Starly blinked as he tried to figure out how to explain it.

“(I, uh… I avoided it.)” Starly said lamely.

The other imprisoned birds began murmuring again, with impressed whispers of “(That’s brilliant!)”, “(I never would’ve thought of that!)” and “(Still can’t see! Is he hot?)”

Crobat pushed her way to the front of her cell, rasping angrily in an attempt to communicate to Starly that coming down here was a bad idea and that he needed to go back and find Ash and Brock _now_.

“(Don’t worry Crobat, I’ll get you guys out of here!)” Starly replied bravely. He looked at the electronic lock, then around at the other cages, and his confidence faltered. “(I just… need to figure out how.)”

“(Can you bust down the bars?)” The Pidgeotto asked.

Starly shook his head. “(I’m not strong enough yet.)” He explained. “(I only just figured out how to break wood.)”

“(Well, you better figure something out quick. There’s a human-speaking Meowth that comes down here every twenty minutes to check on us. You hang around too long, and you’ll be in a cage with us.)”

“(Uh…)” Starly tapped his foot, visibly panicking. He swept his eyes around the cage, spotting the round, brown owl with the red dinnerplate eyes standing at the back. An idea suddenly came to him. “(Wait! You’re a Hoothoot, right?)”

The Hoothoot blinked as all eyes turned to him. “(Uh… yeah.)” He replied nervously. “(Yeah, I’m a Hoothoot.)”

“(My trainer said that Hoothoots can use Hypnosis to send people to sleep. Can you do that?)”

“(Uh…)” The Hoothoot frowned in thought. “(…Yeah, I can. Actually, I can kinda use Hypnosis to make people do whatever I want.)”

“(Can you use it to make Meowth free you? And everyone else?)”

“(…Yeah, probably.)”

“(Sweet!)” Starly grinned. “(I’ll hide up above, and when Meowth comes in, you do that!)”

“(I’m sorry,)” The Pidgeotto growled, glaring directly at the Hoothoot. “(Were you able to do that this _entire time?_ )”

The Hoothoot shuffled nervously. “(I kinda… forgot I could do that.)”

“( _You forgot, huh?_ )”

* * *

Meowth stumbled towards the entrance to the prison, his eyes bloodshot and his face covered in black grease. Seviper and Cacnea, standing by the steel door, stared at him as he teetered towards them, blinking and groaning. “Hey… you two.” He muttered, rubbing his forehead.

“(What the hell is wrong with you?)” Seviper asked irritably, with a hint of concern. “(You look half-dead.)”

“Urgh, yeah, that’s just the come-down for diesel fumes.” Meowth replied, waving his paw dismissively. “Don’t worry about it.”

“(You’re huffing diesel?)” Cacnea asked uneasily.

“Yeah. Gives me the worst blood-coughs, but the high is _amazing._ ”

“(… _Wow._ )” Cacnea said quietly, both Pokémon now staring at their friend, perturbed. “(You should _really_ stop doing that.)”

“Hey, my self-destructive habits are my own business.” Meowth replied defensively. He looked at the door critically. “How’s the merchandise?”

“(Safe and sound.)” Seviper replied, smirking. She frowned, and added, “(Oh yeah, we captured the twerp’s Crobat, by the way.)”

“Wait, _what?_ ” Meowth cried in alarm.

“(Caught her with a bunch of Taillow, actually.)” Cacnea said thoughtfully. “(Wonder what she was doing with them?)”

“She was with them because the twerps are looking for us!” Meowth snapped. “We need to lock this place down _now!_ ”

“(Dustox and Carnivine are scouting up above, we’re guarding down here, and you surrounded the entire hideout with landmines.)” Seviper replied flatly, coiling into a restful position. “(If the twerps find us, we’ll know it long enough in advance to get the flying types out of here. Relax.)”

Meowth dragged his paw across his face in frustration. “Why am I the only one taking this seriously? Fine!” He growled. “I’ll ‘relax’. But I’m interrogating that Crobat to find out where the twerps are!”

“(Oh, yeah.)” Seviper snorted derisively as Meowth pushed open the door. “(Interrogate the _mute_. That’s helpful.)”

Meowth ignored her, stepping into the hall of cages and shutting the door behind him. He looked around at the silent bird Pokémon, finding the dark purple form of Crobat in one of the cages half-way down. He approached the tiny metal cell, smirking as he did so.

“Well, well, well. Look what we found in our little bird-trap.” He chuckled, leaning up against the bars. “Long way from the twerps, ain’t ya?”

Crobat grinned evilly at him. She stepped aside, making Meowth’s eyes suddenly meet with those of a Hoothoot standing behind her.

Its irises glowed red. Meowth froze, then went slack.

“(You’ll release us from this cage.)” Hoothoot told him.

“I’ll release you from this cage.” Meowth muttered, his eyes and voice blank. He reached for the lock and lamely pushed a couple of buttons. With a _click_ , the door to the cage swung open.

“( _Yes!_ )” Starly swooped down from the rafters above, landing in front of the cage. “(Get him to free everyone else!)”

“(And you’ll free everyone else.)” Hoothoot added.

“And I’ll free everyone else.” Meowth repeated with all the critical thought processes of a zombie.

“(Wait. Hold on a tic.)” The Pidgeotto from before spoke up. “(If we just fly out of the pit, won’t we immediately alert the guys who set all this up?)”

“(Uh… hmm.)” Starly scratched his head with his wing. True, if they just flew out, Team Rocket would be immediately alerted, and they would probably pull out some kind of giant robot to stop them. He was also pretty sure he had seen something akin to a sensor on the way down, so they couldn’t just climb out of the pit.

Starly looked around as Meowth begun freeing everyone else. He took a look at the end of the hall, which ended in a soft dirt wall.

Looking to the room, still silent with anticipation, Starly asked, “(Does anyone here know Drill Peck?)”

* * *

Back in the forest, the trainers and Rosebay had spent about thirty minutes or so spying on an abandoned Hoothoot nest. Climbing down from their respective trees, the group met up again, with Dawn and Piplup shooting unimpressed glares at Rosebay.

“Well, chums, we didn’t find anything from the Hoothoot nest, or the Swablu nest.” Rosebay commented. “I’ve got say, I’m buggering stumped. I’ve got no idea where all them flying types have buggered off to, say what.”

“That’s why you _asked us for help!_ ” Dawn protested.

“Hmm…” Rosebay folded her arms in thought. “Maybe if we go take a gander at the Swablu nest again…”

As Dawn spluttered furiously, Ash turned to his shoulder-perched buddy and asked, “Hey bud, I was kinda focused on that Hoothoot nest back there. Did you see Starly and Crobat come back?”

“(No, I’ve been looking for them in the sky for like, fifteen minutes now.)” Pikachu frowned, his small face scrunched up in concern as he scanned the sky. “(I think whatever happened to those flying types might have happened to them.)”

“I-” Ash gave the mouse a look. “Pikachu.”

“(Hey, my dumb ideas aren’t my fault if you go along with them.)”

“Alright, guys?” Ash brought everyone’s attention to him. “I think we should go look for Starly and Crobat. They should’ve been back by now.”

Brock nodded, also looking worried. “I was just thinking the same thing. Last I saw them, they were heading towards that valley over there.” He pointed up towards the impossible-to-miss valley that rose over the forest like a giant’s throne.

“Okay!” Dawn clapped her hands together. “So, how about we do what I’ve been _saying_ we should do from the beginning and go check out that valley?”

“Again with that bloody valley?” Rosebay looked at Dawn with annoyance. “You’ve been gabbering on about it since tea and biscuits time!”

“Yeah.” Dawn glared directly at Rosebay. “Because whatever is going on is likely happening while the Pokémon are migrating here, and they’re probably migrating through that valley.”

“What in the name of crumpets does migration have anything to do with this?”

Dawn raised her eyebrow. “…You know? Migration? When bird Pokémon fly north during spring because the forests up north are cooler during the summer?”

Rosebay stared at her blankly.

“And later in the year, they fly back to the southern forests because the north forests are too cold for them?” Dawn continued.

Rosebay continued to look at her blankly.

“You know? The thing that birds do?”

Rosebay was silent for a moment.

“Everyone, I’ve just had a spiffing idea!” She suddenly cried, throwing her fist into her air. “Let’s go check out that valley, just in case something happened to the flying types while they were migrating, I say what!”

Dawn stood there, blinking for a moment, then sighed in resignation. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s go.”

* * *

Atop the roof of their hideout, Jessie and James were lying in their reclining chairs, half-asleep and oblivious to the world.

They heard a loud metallic sound, rousing them from their leisurely naps and causing both of them to look towards where the sound had come from.

It had come from the net trap, which was now leaning lop-sided to the left. Another sound that resembled that of shattering metal later, and then the trap came tumbling down to the ground with a deafening crash.

Jessie and James stared at it blankly.

“…Oh.” Jessie said, still gaining her bearings. “Is that bad?”

This statement was followed by a distant, victorious Steelix roar.

“ _That’s bad!_ ” Jessie screamed, leaping to her feet.

“ _That’s very bad!_ ” James cried out, also jumping off his chair.

* * *

_“Attention Team Rocket!”_ Jessie’s voice blared over the cavern loudspeaker, causing Seviper and Cacnea to look up. _“The twerps are coming! Get the merchandise out of here, pronto!”_

The two Pokémon looked at each other, both of them nodded in determination. They both knew what to do now. They threw open the door into the prison hall and darted inside, Seviper immediately saying, “(Meowth, the twerps are here! We need-!)”

The prison hall was empty. Every single prison cell was unoccupied, their doors ajar. The only Pokémon remaining in the room was Meowth, staring vacantly at a large hole that had been dug out of the wall at the end of the hall.

“(Wh- _what?_ )” Cacnea cried out in horror.

“(…Meowth.)” Seviper said calmly.

“Whu…?” Meowth blinked and turned to look at the snake. She slithered toward the Scratch Cat slowly, her pupils narrowed and focused solely on him.

“(Where are all the flying types?)” Seviper asked quietly, punctuating each word as she spoke.

Meowth looked around at the cages to the left.

Then he looked at the cages to the right.

Then he looked at Seviper, inches away from him.

“…Okay.” He started with a sheepish grin. “This is gonna sound kinda bad-”

Seviper’s tail suddenly spun around, coiling around the cat in an instant and squeezing so tight that it almost shattered his ribs. All he could do was choke and stare into Seviper’s blazing, furious eyes.

“(You let them _escape?_ )” She snarled.

“I didn’t have any control!” Meowth managed to choke out. “I was hypnotised by a Hoothoot! They made me-!”

“( _And do you think Jessie’s going to care once she finds out what happened?_ )” Seviper screeched with untethered rage.

Whatever retort Meowth could have made never came out, as an explosion from above rocked the cavern and caused dirt and debris to shake loose from the ceiling.

* * *

Ash, Brock and Dawn, their Pokémon by their sides, coughed and covered their eyes as the dust settled. It cleared to reveal Steelix, blinking in confusion.

“(…That’s what a landmine does?)” He said, his voice rumbling like a mountain. He looked down to his silvery body, a scorch mark on it. “(Always thought they were a bigger deal than that.)”

“Dammit! We can’t get us or our other Pokémon any closer to that building with the field rigged to blow!” Brock growled, the wooden hut a tantalising twenty metres away.

“Not without our flying types…” Ash nodded in agreement.

“Don’t worry, chums!” Rosebay immediately spoke up, stepping forth and prompting Dawn to groan exasperatedly. “We can surmount this pile of haggis, no worries! Or I’m not a Pokémorni-!”

Before she could finish her declaration, the hut suddenly rose upwards on two large wooden legs. From its sides extended two wooden arms, both of which ended in large, well-constructed nets. At the top of the wooden machine was a head-like extrusion that seemed to be the command centre.

“…Um…” Rosebay said uncertainly.

The top of the ‘head’ opened up, a platform rising above. Atop the platform were Jessie and James, both of them having re-clothed themselves and looking down on the group with the usual arrogance.

“Listen, is that a stupefied twerp I hear?” Jessie asked mockingly.

“It stutters to me, loud and clear.” James responded, just as mockingly.

Jessie kicked up her knee dramatically, turning to the outside of the platform. “On the wind!”

James mirrored her, turning to the opposite side. “Past the stars!”

There was a pause as Meowth scrambled up the piston holding up the platform, gasping as he jumped on.

“In yer ear!” He shouted quickly.

Dawn looked up at Team Rocket as they went through the motions of their motto, unimpressed.

She turned to look at her companions, who were currently standing by and doing nothing.

She took a particularly long glance at Pikachu, who just sat on Ash’s shoulder, listening to the motto.

She took a deep breath, then released it with a long sigh.

“Seriously.” She said flatly. “One Thunderbolt, and this could end _now_.”

“Putting the do-gooders in their place.” Jessie crowed, finishing up the motto.

“We’re Team Rocket.” James said coolly.

“ _In your face!_ ” All three of them finished dramatically.

There was an awkward pause of about two seconds.

“I still think the old one was better!” Ash shouted up at them.

“Give it time. It’ll grow on you.” James assured him.

“Steelix!” Brock ordered. “Use Iron Tail on that thing’s legs!”

“(You got it!)” Steelix replied with a grin. He immediately started moving forward.

“(Ow.)” He said as the ground exploded underneath him. He moved forward.

“(Ow.)” He said as the ground exploded again.

Team Rocket retreated back into their control room. Once they did, a nozzle popped out of the mecha’s arms and fired a massive globule of expanding foam into Steelix’s face. There wasn’t enough to restrain him, but there was plenty to blind him.

“(…Ah, crap.)” Steelix sighed.

Within the control room, the trio of Team Rocket looked down victoriously as Steelix tried in vain to get the foam off his face.

“Okay, great, we’ve blinded ‘im!” Meowth grinned victoriously. “Now, let’s get the hell outta here!”

“Why?” Jessie looked at him with disdain. “We have the upper hand.”

“And it won’t take much for us to _lose_ that hand!” Meowth argued. “The plan was to get out of dodge the second Dustox and Carnivine gave us the warning! So, let’s _follow the plan!_ ”

“…Why didn’t Dustox and Carnivine warn us?” James asked. “They should’ve been able to see the twerps a mile away!”

“Questions for later.” Jessie replied decisively, taking the controls with both hands. “For now, I’m inclined to agree with Meowth. We risk losing the merchandise if we stand our ground.”

They heard a gasp from the battlefield mic, followed by Ash’s cry of, “Starly?”

That’s when they saw it.

Approaching them, rising from the valley, was a massive swarm of flying-type Pokémon, so large and dense that it could’ve been mistaken for a cloud. Headed by a Crobat and a small, yet bravely determined Starly, the battle flock flew straight through the valley and directly towards the mecha.

From her seat, Jessie slowly turned to look directly at Meowth, her face devoid of emotion. “Is that the merchandise?” She asked quietly.

“…Heh, I, uh…” Meowth grinned nervously, scratching the back of his head. “I didn’t figure they’d come back.”

“(Birds, attack!)” Starly cried from the head of flock.

“Stay brave, chums!” James declared, taking the controls determinedly. “We won’t let the Timber Titan Mark Ten fall to a bunch of lowly bird Pokémon!”

“(Aerial Ace! Drill Peck! Everything you’ve got!)” Starly ordered, going into a nosedive towards one of the legs. His wing collided with the mecha’s leg, smashing it to pieces with ease. The other birds, each of them using a different move, collided with the arms, the other leg, and the torso, splintering the machine apart within an instant.

“…Oh, right. This thing’s made out of wood.” James realised, the other two clutching their seats in alarm as the machine wobbled unsteadily. “I always forget how strong Pokémon are.”

“ _No, not the landmines!_ ” Meowth shrieked as the mecha toppled forward.

As they saw the mecha start to fall forward, the trainers below backed up.

“Uh… guys?” Dawn asked, reasonably fearful.

Brock acted immediately, recalling Steelix into his Pokéball, then reaching back and releasing another Pokémon. “Everyone to me!” He ordered. The others didn’t hesitate.

The second the mecha hit the ground, a chorus of explosions rocked the valley, sending rocks, dust and wood in every direction while Team Rocket went flying into the air some twenty miles away, screaming incoherently as they did so.

Slowly, the dust settled, revealing rubble of all shapes and sizes, strewn about the valley randomly.

It also revealed a green, translucent sphere of energy, surrounding a giant boulder-like Pokémon, four trainers, and a couple of Pokémon. Ash and Dawn hugged Graveler’s body on one side, Piplup in Dawn’s arm and Pikachu on Ash’s cap, while Brock and Rosebay hugged the other.

With a sigh, Graveler released the protective field. Ash and Brock sighed with relief, stepping away and surveying the damage, while Dawn remained by the rock Pokémon, wide-eyed with fright and hugging Piplup tightly.

Rosebay approached the two young men and looked at the wreckage of the mech. “…Are those three knuckleheads dead?” She asked.

“Nah, they’re fine.” Ash replied casually.

“…Hm.”

* * *

After a while, everyone had made their way back to forest, satisfied that Team Rocket had been driven off. Starly and Crobat had made their way back to the team, while the freed flying Pokémon resumed their migration to the north. It did not escape anyone’s notice that Starly was looking much happier than usual, perched on Ash’s shoulder alongside Pikachu.

Once they had made their way back to the road, Rosebay turned to them with a smile. “Thanks again for tossin’ me a bone back there! Thanks to your toppin’ good work, we routed those villains for good, what have you!”

“Ah, don’t think anything of it!” Ash replied humbly.

“Yeah, we only almost died.” Dawn muttered. “Don’t even worry about it.”

“I had always wondered where in the black pudding those flying types went off to.” Rosebay continued. “Playing the long game, those chavs were. But no more! Now that-”

“Wait, long game?” Brock interrupted her.

“Yeah! This happens every year, ‘round about this time.” Rosebay replied. “Flying types went missing, didn’t show their noses until summer. But now that those blighters have been taken care of, they won’t be gettin’ kidnapped anymore!”

The three trainers looked between each other.

They thought about what she had just said.

Brock looked at her. “Wait, you thought-?”

“Anyhow, I’ve got to be buggering off about now!” Rosebay interrupted him. “I’ve got Pokémornithologist things to do! Ta-ta, tea and crumpets, don’t be a slag!”

And with that, she darted back off into the forest, leaving the three trainers nonplussed, standing in the middle of the road as the sun began to set.

“…What did she just call me?” Dawn asked, confused beyond anything.

“Ah, it doesn’t matter.” Ash said dismissively. “All that matters is that Starly beat Team Rocket for us! Isn’t that right?” He ruffled the starling’s feathers.

“(You bet!)” Starly said, grinning in overexcitement. “(I outsmarted them and everything! I even helped _several_ flocks of birds escape!)”

“You made the right call in sending Starly out.” Brock nodded. “Without him, they might have actually managed to steal some Pokémon this time.”

“You even mastered Aerial Ace while you were out there.” Ash added.

“(I _did!_ )” Starly leapt down from Ash’s shoulder onto the ground, hopping up and down victoriously. “(I was finally good! I feel like I’m just gonna _explode_ , I…! I…!)”

Then, Starly started to glow.

“Woah!” Dawn yelped in alarm, taking an instinctive step backwards.

Starly was glowing bright white now, Ash taking a step back with Dawn – although he did it with a knowing smile on his face. Starly began to grow, his body morphing.

“ _Woah!_ ” Dawn gasped in awe.

Quickly, over the course of a minute, Starly’s physical body completely changed. He grew in size, by an entire foot, his wings expanded outward, and the tuft of feathers upon his head curled upward, becoming more pronounced. When it was over, and the glow faded, he looked like Starly, but his features were more avian. More pointed, rather than round, and a proud look was upon his beak.

“ _Woooaaaaah!_ ” Dawn gaped at the new creature standing before them. “ _That’s_ what evolution is?”

“Yeah. It’s awesome, isn’t it?” Ash said, kneeling down to eye level with Starly’s new form.

“It’s so awesome!” Dawn gushed. Piplup rode in her arms, in a similar state of wonder.

Ash quickly checked out the evolved creature with his Pokédex. “Staravia, huh?” He smiled at him. “Feeling good, Staravia?”

“(Yes-sir-ee, boss!)” Staravia trilled, his voice less childish, yet more shrill. “(Better than good, even! Now, let’s go take on that Oreburgh gym!)”

* * *

Back in the valley, atop one of the peaks, a blanket of leaves lied atop a table-like protrusion, sitting under two chunks of wood, fashioned into bowls. At one side of this mock table was Carnivine, sporting a black maid’s dress, makeup made from flower pollen, and a streak of red across his mouth that was either lipstick, berry juice, or blood.

“(Okay!)” Dustox declared, hovering at the other end of the table and sporting a half-chewed top hat, a monocle, and an undone bowtie. “(We’ve done the tea party and the dress-up party… what should we do now?)”

“(Now, we move onto the next step!)” Carnivine laughed in carnivorous insanity. “(We take the undeserving and put them in our belly pots! We devour those who refuse to devour us, because they are _weak!_ The rabid hunger, the unyielding consumption _demands_ it!)”

Dustox said nothing for a little while. If a sane person had been watching the scene, they would’ve seen the rare sight of a giant moth smiling uncomfortably.

“(…We can have another tea party?)” Dustox suggested.

Carnivine grinned. “( _That will also suffice!_ )”


End file.
